Ladies cycling...café stop etiquette.

[Aperitif]

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub.

She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers.
When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard. "Are you the
manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her
hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running
her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her
fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.
"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper
towels in the ladies room."

 

[rustychisel]

excellent [chortles appreciatively].

it must be Friday!!

 

[rustychisel]

Aperitif, just saw your sig line. You need to get over to weightweenies.com, there's ways to make your KG361 lighter than that.

 

[Keith Oates]

- I bet he didn't tell any of his mates what happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dayvo]

Why have women got legs?

Have you seen the mess snails leave behind them!

 

[stevenb]

That was a cool joke.......
Dayvo.....I think you lowered the tone there...

 

[Tetedelacourse]

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The barman says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!".

The grasshopper replies "great, I'll have a Steve please."

 

[Mr Phoebus]

Nice one! Aperitif

 

[JamesAC]

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The barman says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!".

The grasshopper replies "great, I'll have a Steve please."

A man walks in to a bar, and there's a white horse serving.

"That's amazing!" said the man, "did you know there is a whisky named after you?"

"What, said the horse, "Eric?"

 

[Dayvo]

That was a cool joke.......
Dayvo.....I think you lowered the tone there...

Only too happy to oblige, stevenb!
Not that I want to offend anyone, of course!

 

[sloe]

Prince Charles is down the sewers.

"End what do you do?"
"I count the turds floating past, sir."
"Fessinatin. Is there much veriety in tords?"
"Certainly sir. I can tell my wifes turd - here it comes now"
"Really! How can you tell?"
"Well, it's got my sandwiches tied to it"

 

[Dayvo]

Prince Charles is down the sewers.

"End what do you do?"
"I count the turds floating past, sir."
"Fessinatin. Is there much veriety in tords?"
"Certainly sir. I can tell my wifes turd - here it comes now"
"Really! How can you tell?"
"Well, it's got my sandwiches tied to it"

Very good!

 

[Rhythm Thief]

Prince Charles is down the sewers.
...
"Well, it's got my sandwiches tied to it"

best one yet!