Leaving Presentation

ChrisKH

Veteran
Location
Essex
I need to do a leaving presentation for a female member of staff this p.m. who is (eventually) going to live in Canada. As I'm completely crap at this sort of thing does anyone have any tips or advice? She likes small dogs.
 

red_tom

New Member
Location
East London
Did anyone else read the last line as 'She smells like dogs?'
 

Cycling Naturalist

Legendary Member
Location
Llangollen
ChrisKH said:
I need to do a leaving presentation for a female member of staff this p.m. who is (eventually) going to live in Canada. As I'm completely crap at this sort of thing does anyone have any tips or advice? She likes small dogs.

How about those large plastic hoop earrings that are so popular in Essex?
 

Fnaar

Smutmaster General
Location
Thumberland
Praise her work (within reason, be a little generous, forget any crap things she's done), say you're sure she'll be missed by her colleagues and friends here, have a wee joke at her expense (summat silly she may have done), wish her well for Canada, but make jokes about not being able to spell Saskatchewan, and then tell her to watch out for the Mounties. Start a round of applause, as this then takes focus off you. Encourage her to say a word or two. Clap again. Present giving. Take her to pub, get drunk, slobber over her and try to give her a snog. Possibly leave out the last few steps. :blush:
 
I thought , "smells of wet dogs" , weve got one like that.

Best not to say anything though, she'll be gone soon. In fact just say nice things for two minutes and wish her all the best in her adventure. Dont forget how much you are going to miss her except the smell of course.

Perhaps theres a Bear joke in this Bear Notice
 
User76 said:
She's leaving, it doesn't matter. If you find it really unbearable, try telling everyone you've just eaten a half-cooked satay and have to go and seek advice from a bunch of half-witted piss takers on the internet:biggrin:

half? Ah - quantity not quality :blush:
 

SamNichols

New Member
Location
Colne, Lancs
Andy in Sig said:
Get down the local dog's home with a hundred quid, buy a slack handful of small dogs and BBQ them. She should be happy as Larry if that's what she likes.
[pedantry] Wow, a local dog has its own house! [/pedantry]

Perhaps go off track and tell her that: 'Get a bum bag to keep your money in, except they call it a fanny pack. Because over there it's your arse, not your minge.' (sorry for the crudity, blame the Office!)
 
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