Love. Life. Cycling (and worrying family members)

[the_mikey]

They're just projecting their fears, it means they love you and don't want anything terrible to happen.

 

[Jon George]

The best explanation I have ever seen regarding how safe cycling really is here:
http://www.gicentre.net/blog/2013/11/24/risk-cycling-and-denominator-neglect

Well, as a writer I am pathologically programmed to avoid clichés, but never was 'a picture tells a thousand words' more apt. Thanks - I may print it out to get the full effect.

 

[simon.r]

It irritates me slightly that my girlfriend insists on a text to confirm I've got home safely when I cycle home from hers, but doesn't when I drive.

Just her perception of risk I suppose.

 

[sazzaa]

I think it's just habit for some people to say "have a safe cycle" in the same way as people do when you're flying anywhere... My man works abroad and I always say "have a safe flight" without even thinking about it! And he says the cycling thing to me if I'm off out on the bike, it doesn't necessarily mean people are genuinely worried, it's more of a polite thing to say.

 

[HB2210]

I've got constant badgering from family members to 'be safe', I know, it's good that they care, but their constant reminders of how dangerous cycling can be is really getting me down. I appreciate the need to be vigilant whilst cycling, and i never take any unnecessary risks. But I'm always having to try and reassure my mum in particular (who is a big worrier by nature) that i'm safe, but nothing i can say will make her worry less. It was very unfortunate that i had quite a bad fall at the time I was living with them for a short time - usually i can avoid them until I've healed up - but this particular occasion i got a black eye, and a severe knock to the head. This does nothing really to reassure my mum that accidents don't happen - they do. I feel that the one thing in my life that I love, is making those I love worry on a daily basis - i don't want them to be like that. I can't give it up though, but I can't cope with them living in fear of the worst all the time. Am I being selfish?

Who else has over-worrying partners/parents - how do you cope?

I'm hearing you... I live that life, takes the fun out of it sometimes Nice to know people still care

 

[MattyKo]

By there very nature accidents do occur and often when we least expect them, and unfortunately they can be very serious and severe.
A previous partner insisted that I call them to confirm my safe arrival, following my earlier departure from their side.
Unfortunately, I do not think anyone can do anything to allay someone concern for another.
The only practical thing that we can do is as the OP indicates endeavour to stay safe by following the rules and regulations of the road.
Because as I have learnt to my very expensive misfortune, once one does what others do not anticipate, you cannot determine, control or anticipate (let alone understand) the subsequent / consequential behaviour of others.

 

[theclaud]

I'm not quite so sanguine about it as the "it's just because they love you" tendency. It's not inevitable that love must express itself in over-protectiveness or fear. My mother is, and my grandmother was, a worrier - but as with all these things the worry is selective and partly irrational, and might just as well be otherwise. They worried about my brother, but not as much as they worried about me - perhaps, if worry is supposed to be indicative of love, he felt less loved because of this - I know that I felt more unnecessarily protected, and therefore less free. I find it odd that no-one seems to have observed that pointless worry is a gendered phenomenon. I reckon that the pointless entertainment of irrational fear for others has shaped my mother's and grandmother's lives disproportionately, but scarcely troubled my father and grandfathers at all. I've taken, lately, to saying straightforward things like "I don't want you to worry about me - it doesn't help. I want to hear about what you'd be thinking about if you weren't worrying". Excessive worrying seems to me to be a form of self abasement.

 

[slowmotion]

Some people worry. You just can't talk them out of it, no matter how hard you try. I'm touched that people worry if I ride a bike but I don't seek their concern. Worrying is a large part of some peoples' lives. An unwanted hobby.

 

[Gravity Aided]

Some people worry. You just can't talk them out of it, no matter how hard you try. I'm touched that people worry if I ride a bike but I don't seek their concern. Worrying is a large part of some peoples' lives. An unwanted hobby.

Some people should take up meditating, or yoga, or Zen. Worrying can't be good for them.

 

[Excellor8]

My other half always says "watch out for the idiots on four wheels" especially since i was knocked off by a white van man last year. I guess it's just their way of caring.

 

[doug]

It irritates me slightly that my girlfriend insists on a text to confirm I've got home safely when I cycle home from hers, but doesn't when I drive.

Just her perception of risk I suppose.

Send her a text every time you drive as well, if she asks why tell her you feel safer cycling

 

[Soup890]

tell her to WATCH HERSELF as more accidents happen in the kitchen.......

 

[Stonechat]

Mrs Stonechat worries about me whenever I cycle. Made worse by coming off once. We have had a stressful time lately (our huse was flooded) and cycling is thereapeutic for me, relieve my stress, but seems to add to hers.
It is particularly difficuly as she seems to have anxiety issues, but have done a lot of rides since my problem and been OK.

Yes Mrs Stonechat broke her shoulder in the kitchen you are right @John the Canuck

 

[lay]

I hate anyone worrying about me. I'm pretty individual. In fact if anyone does say be careful I'd take that as a cursory gesture, it's bad enough on the road without anyone gesticulating a positive' that means it's direly negative than it already is. I have a rearview mirror. Twitter doesn't help, in fact 1 of the reason's I stopped following 2 well know YouTube cyclists - was because they have an endeavour to, in their eyes, educate drivers via tweets which really antagonise - as would usually happen; a cyclist/motorist tweet war breaks out. And that didn't make things any better imo. I'm convinced their is a way to cycle and not antagonise yet it does rely on a level headed driver & respect from them. I'm the only person who rides in my family & as for closer members, if they where to ride, I'd be quite interested. Especially if they're drivers. As they usually make the worst cyclists as they notice what you want too, than the hardcore cyclist does notice ie E V E R Y T H I N G that happens on road !

 

[Accy cyclist]

I'm more the worrier than Mrs Accy. I get butterflies when i'm spending my half hour preparing for a ride,and when i'm out cycling and she phones me but cuts off before i have time to answer has me thinking summat's happened!