Mad Dogs and Englishmen

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paulb55

Über Member
Location
Birmingahm
A few days ago myself and some very good cycling pals from BCWM (Bike Club West Midlands) went on a ride to the beautiful town of Stratford Upon Avon and it was whilst we were sitting down by the river Avon, having lunch, that i noticed a few of the characters that are quintessentially British and, thank the lord above, only seem to come out when the sun is shining.

We have all done it, sitting there eating our sandwich for lunch, on a beautiful cloudless sunny day, with the temperature edging up towards the mid 20′s, just looking at people walking past or sitting around you, and pretending to be a member of the Fashion Police with your opinions of what you see in front of you.
Lets face it, we have all seen the Milk Bottle walk past unaware of the unimaginable horror that he is putting upon the rest of the human race, yes folks we all have a little giggle when we see the bloke walking past us baring his white torso to the rest of the public, and it’s probably been around 6 months since their upper body has seen the light of day around a lunchtime, especially in a packed recreation area, but, undeterred they strip off revealing the milk bottle white skin and walk around like they are a carbon copy of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
It then dawns on them later when their skin is as red as a tomato that it probably was a bad idea.
Although the Milk Bottle can be given a slight pat on the back for having the balls to show his white chest in public, the bloke who walks around with his top off and has one brown arm , likely to be his right arm, whilst the other arm is pale white. These are likely to be either a delivery driver or a sales rep.
The one that really makes me chuckle is the older type of gent who thinks they are by the coast, and upon leaving his home that day forgot to take a hat out with them. they then proceed to make the best of what they have and tie a knot on each 4 corners of a large handkerchief and put it on top of their head, whilst walking around with no top on and as red as a beertroot, which makes me wince as it looks so painful. These type of sunbathers remind me so much of the days when we used to go to the coast with our parents and you see them at the seaside, probably Blackpool or Rhyl, with their trousers or skirts rolled up, dipping their toes in the water, with a handkerchief on top of their heads, it just makes me come over all nostalgic and nauseous at the same time.
Yes folks, we British are a funny lot and i have had endless hours of fun sitting around on a bright sunny day just people watching all the different characters that make up our society and i am sure you will have many more suggestions, so please place your characters in the comments box below.
As the famous songs goes “Mad Dogs and Englishmen out in the midday sun”, we just never learn, but boy, does it give us some laughs along the way.
AND FINALLY
Notice in a field. Not too sure of their priorities though.
priorities.jpg
 

Mad Doug Biker

Barred from every tavern in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
Yes, the milk bottle with half their pants sticking out the top of their trousers....

Also, the phenomenon that supermarkets must know all about:
When the sun comes out, everyone for some bizarre reason suddenly wants to buy Salad for the dinner!

Bloody weather victims....


Also, regarding the sign - it makes sense, becuase you are more likely to see kids as you mow across the field in your Chelsea Tractor. Besides, chickens produce eggs, kids don't!

Kittens though, stupid things that get stuck in trees.... Yes, I agree with you, their priorities are questionable.
 

Globalti

Legendary Member
Also, the phenomenon that supermarkets must know all about is that, when the sun comes out, everyone for some bizarre reason suddenly wants to buy Salid for the dinner!

Eh? Who the heck is Salid? Your Muslim friend?

The OP has forgotten the British love for sitting staring at water for hours, usually the sea but a lake, river or pond will do as well.

To our amazement last Sunday my cycling buddy and I passed a couple sitting in deckchairs on the verge having a picnic; I thought that habit disappeared when motorway services were invented.
 

Mad Doug Biker

Barred from every tavern in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
Eh? Who the heck is Salid? Your Muslim friend?

Yes, poor guy, he's tried explaining, but they just will not listen!

The OP has forgotten the British love for sitting staring at water for hours, usually the sea but a lake, river or pond will do as well.

It isn't summer unless you can sit on a beach somewhere doing faff all all day. Apparently.
 

Mad Doug Biker

Barred from every tavern in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
Belgians never do weird things. :whistle:

It isn't confined to the UK, I know that. We have Italian friends, and they have a holiday home in the Dolomites to escape the heat during the summer.

Apparently people think they are seriously weird because you have to go to one of the Adriatic resorts, IT'S THE LAW!!
 

Mad Doug Biker

Barred from every tavern in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
Last time we where in Sri Lanka in the tea country (it's bloody freezing at night and it rains pretty much all the time) there were quite a lot of Saudis in the hotel there. They said they go there in the summer to enjoy the cold, as it's sometimes 50 degrees C on the gulf. So you get women in veils sitting out on deckchairs in the drizzle for hours.

Sound like sensible folk to me!
 
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