Mate got hit by car, mrs not keen on me cycling anymore...

The mate broke his wrist and those things aren't intended for multivehicle collisions
I'm not quite sure why you are stating helmet shortfalls in this thread when there is a specific thread for it here:

https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/the-cyclechat-helmet-debate-thread.187059/

The OPs post is about his concerned wife and some wifes feel happier if their spouse wears one, others don't care. Mine does thus I'd personally wear one, as stated above.

I have made no recommendation for the OP to wear one and offered no comment on the benefit to his safety.
 
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MontyVeda

a short-tempered ill-controlled small-minded troll
My mum doesn't like me riding my bike up to my sister's (a 28 mile round trip on mostly nice rural roads), and insists on driving me... the fact that I'm statistically more at risk in a car than on my bike just doesn't sink in. People worry and worrying doesn't follow logic.

some hastily googled stats...

Casualties by road user type
In 2017, the highest number of fatalities were car users, both drivers and passengers, who accounted for 44% of road deaths (669) in the UK. [11]

There were 470 pedestrian deaths in the UK in 2017, a 5% increase on 2016. 26% of all road deaths were pedestrians [12].

There were 101 cyclist deaths in the UK in 2017, a 1% reduction on 2016. There was also 18,321 cyclist casualties on Britain's roads in 2017, a 1% decrease on 2017. However, between 2016 and 2017 there was a 5% decrease in cycling traffic on 2016. [13]

There were 349 motorcyclist fatalities in 2017, up 9% from 319 in 2016. Compared to car users, motorcyclists are 55 times more likely to be killed, and 81 times more likely to be killed or seriously injured on the roads in Britain. [14]

source
Not sure why they state the number of cyclist casualties but not casualties of other road user types.
 

icowden

Senior Member
Location
Surrey
There's almost no evidence for the first bit in the real world (dazzle camo is still camo), repeating such myths discourages cycling and the last bit is a much bigger problem. Please don't exploit this collision to push them.
Going back to the question that the OP asked rather than other questions. The OP's other half might be reassured by the OP deciding to wear a reflective and / or helmet. Another anxiety easing measure might be to use Strava and the beacon feature so that the OPs partner can see where the OP is on his ride.

It could also be worth using something like cyclestreets to look at the number of incidents (unless your route is fraught with peril!) that occur on the route to illustrate that actually, this was a real one off...
 

mjr

Comfy armchair to one person & a plank to the next
Going back to the question that the OP asked rather than other questions. The OP's other half might be reassured by the OP deciding to wear a reflective and / or helmet.
Then someone should suggest how to explain the reality to the OP's wife rather than encourage the OP to possibly increase cycling risks in order to fit in with mistaken views. There are enough people with odd beliefs about cycling out there to be unhelpful (calling for bad laws, refusing to convict incompetent motorists when on juries and so on) without cyclists letting our families be among them.

Another anxiety easing measure might be to use Strava and the beacon feature so that the OPs partner can see where the OP is on his ride.
Yes. Any remote-requestable tracker will do that. I think they're good ideas generally but not the snoopy commercial ones. Even a simple "find my phone" app will often work for this.

It could also be worth using something like cyclestreets to look at the number of incidents (unless your route is fraught with peril!) that occur on the route to illustrate that actually, this was a real one off...
Another great idea. https://bikedata.cyclestreets.net
 

Oxford Dave

Regular
Location
West Oxfordshire
I had a similar accident 4 years ago, a car driver who wasn't looking ran into the side of my rear wheel. I wasn't on a bicycle, though, but on a large and noisy Harley Davidson, so how she managed to 'not see' me is a mystery. Unless, of course, she happened not be looking at the time...
I stepped back to two wheels yesterday when I bought a bicycle. I haven't been able to ride a motorcycle since the accident, after which I spent a month in hospital and a further 6-8 months learning how to walk again and getting my right hand to work to some extent. But despite that, the memory of the event fades, and riding becomes possible again. Just give it time.
 

Phaeton

Guru
Location
Oop North (ish)
So if they are looking they will see you.
No guarantee even then, there is a difference in seeing you & reacting to that fact.
 

Dogtrousers

Kilometre nibbler
If your wife is genuinely unhappy about your cycling then waving a bunch of statistics at her isn't necessarily the best way to change how she feels. If you bullishly continue, having waved said statistics, then she may well continue be worried and unhappy about it.

I'll leave you to form your own plan. Possibly explaining the precautions that you take in terms of route choice and defensive riding. Undertaking to check in more regularly. Use of a tracker (although these can cause as much worry as anything if they fail, or if you stop to fix a puncture and forget to check in) I dunno really. It's very much up to you.
 

classic33

Legendary Member
Isn't the biggest issue one of how ishaqmir could get himself back into cycling, his confidence having taken a knock. Followed by how he reassures his wife cycling is still safe?

The people he's asked for help in answering these questions, trying to prove their views are the only ones worth considering aren't answering or helping. We all react differently to such incidents, and there is a knock on effect to family that may not cycle. Reassuring them may be the hardest part of this. However if in trying to help them, family, in this involves the simple step of making themselves more visible in their partners eyes, why is it dismissed out of hand?

If such simple measures work for his family, they may just help his own confidence return. He'll have one less to worry about whilst cycling, enabling him to enjoy the cycling.
 

MichaelW2

Veteran
I have been hit by a car exiting a side road because I was obscured by the drivers A column. They are so thick on modern cars that they are a danger to smaller road users. You have to look the driver in the eye. Only once has a driver looked me in the eye and accelerated towards me.
 

icowden

Senior Member
Location
Surrey
Another idea to get your confidence back up is to look for cycle routes near you that are car free or car minimal. Towpaths are often good for this as are Royal parks, etc.

A cycling club might be another way as traffic is more cautious (usually) around larger groups of cyclists.
 
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ishaqmir

Regular
I have been hit by a car exiting a side road because I was obscured by the drivers A column. They are so thick on modern cars that they are a danger to smaller road users. You have to look the driver in the eye. Only once has a driver looked me in the eye and accelerated towards me.
bang on, at this big roundabout I got into it first and had a bright flashing day light on my bike and another on my helmet, I looked that taxi driver in the eye and then did my hand signal, the flashing lights and signal got his attention and he slowed and waited for me to pass. But my mate was just a few metres behind and apparently was in his A pillar and therefore got hit, regardless, the taxi driver was at fault 100%.


I want to thank EVERYONE on here for all the replies, has really helped me get my mind back together...
 

kingrollo

Veteran
I often have a similar dilemma - my approach is

1.I really enjoy cycling

2.Have I done everything I can to get the risk down to the minimum ? - others my scorn at the effectiveness or otherwise of the below:-

  1. I use flashing lights all the time
  2. The vast majority of the rides I do are recorded on camera
  3. I have a personal injury policy - that if I am injured or worse in a cycling accident my family get a benefit of £35k (thats benefit not a litigation claim)
  4. I try to consider when and where to cycle.
In addition after a car hit me a couple of years back - I sat down with family and asked if I should quit, the reaction was:-

"Of course not - you love it"
 
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