Mate got hit by car, mrs not keen on me cycling anymore...

[mjr]

The people he's asked for help in answering these questions, trying to prove their views are the only ones worth considering aren't answering or helping.

I think few are trying to prove their views are the only ones worth considering. I think more are trying to prove that certain other views are flawed, which is not quite the same. After all, this seems to be doing similar:

We all react differently to such incidents, and there is a knock on effect to family that may not cycle. Reassuring them may be the hardest part of this. However if in trying to help them, family, in this involves the simple step of making themselves more visible in their partners eyes, why is it dismissed out of hand?

Because it's one of those simple, obvious and wrong answers. Doing whatever superstitious nonsense people demand (even if they're family - and I've had this sort of discussion with some of my own family, of course) won't help anyone in the long term. Once a rider complies with one baseless "common sense" demand, there may well be pressure to comply with another... possibly continuing forever. How many hoops should someone have to jump through before getting on a bike, before you'd say it was too much? And if some of us are right and so-called hi-vis is more often dazzle camo and it puts the rider at more risk, shouldn't we try to dissuade all involved before they get hurt?

Let's take another widespread-safety-myth analogy: if a relative wanted you to install electrical socket covers before they visit with their young child, would you comply for a quiet life or try to explain that they're unnecessary with UK socket designs and actually more dangerous than nothing? And if you complied, how would you feel if the child then uses a bent cover to expose a live pin and shock herself?

And as @Dogtrousers may suspect, I don't try to cite a load of stats and I'm less abrupt with my family than on this forum. As @MontyVeda alluded to, worry isn't always logical, so the arguments need to be more emotional, even if they're underpinned by evidence, but what works for you probably isn't what worked for me so I leave other people to choose arguments that seem natural to them.

 

[tom73]

I often have a similar dilemma - my approach is

1.I really enjoy cycling

2.Have I done everything I can to get the risk down to the minimum ? - others my scorn at the effectiveness or otherwise of the below:-

1. I use flashing lights all the time
2. The vast majority of the rides I do are recorded on camera
3. I have a personal injury policy - that if I am injured or worse in a cycling accident my family get a benefit of £35k (thats benefit not a litigation claim)
4. I try to consider when and where to cycle.

In addition after a car hit me a couple of years back - I sat down with family and asked if I should quit, the reaction was:-

"Of course not - you love it"

Totally as with anything you can only minimise things in your control.
Even on the rides that feel like the wild west you still end up with a smile on your face life don't get much better than on two wheels.
I too know what Mrs 73 would say if I ever did ask about quitting

 

[classic33]

I think few are trying to prove their views are the only ones worth considering. I think more are trying to prove that certain other views are flawed, which is not quite the same. After all, this seems to be doing similar:


Because it's one of those simple, obvious and wrong answers. Doing whatever superstitious nonsense people demand (even if they're family - and I've had this sort of discussion with some of my own family, of course) won't help anyone in the long term. Once a rider complies with one baseless "common sense" demand, there may well be pressure to comply with another... possibly continuing forever. How many hoops should someone have to jump through before getting on a bike, before you'd say it was too much? And if some of us are right and so-called hi-vis is more often dazzle camo and it puts the rider at more risk, shouldn't we try to dissuade all involved before they get hurt?

Let's take another widespread-safety-myth analogy: if a relative wanted you to install electrical socket covers before they visit with their young child, would you comply for a quiet life or try to explain that they're unnecessary with UK socket designs and actually more dangerous than nothing? And if you complied, how would you feel if the child then uses a bent cover to expose a live pin and shock herself?

And as @Dogtrousers may suspect, I don't try to cite a load of stats and I'm less abrupt with my family than on this forum. As @MontyVeda alluded to, worry isn't always logical, so the arguments need to be more emotional, even if they're underpinned by evidence, but what works for you probably isn't what worked for me so I leave other people to choose arguments that seem natural to them.

You are basing your responses on your reactions, and your inbuilt prejudices. I've said we all react differently.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Best of luck @ishaqmir .

My own experience after being hit was that I was very nervous for the next few rides, but OK once back into it.

I found my cycling habits changed permanently, specifically in my case moving into the middle of the carriageway when passing a motorist waiting at a left hand side junction, and no longer trusting that I had made eye contact. Perhaps you may find similar with your approach to roundabouts.

 

[fossyant]

I don't cycle on roads anymore - been hit too many times whilst riding to work I've packed it in. Missing part of my spine, being left in permanent pain, and very nearly having to spend the next 40 years in a wheel chair put an end to it.

I MTB now, if I crash, and I do, it's my fault - or the tree/rock/root/mud's fault..... Not someone in 1500kg plus tin box running me down who doesn't care less.

The stress it put on my wife and kids whilst I was in hospital nearly 2 months wasn't worth it.

I was a hardened road cyclist, quite used to a few knocks, but badly fractured spine (2 vertebrae, 4 ribs, extensive bruising etc etc). PS the bike was fine. I must say I never want to be in that level of pain again - I was quite happy to die to put me out of my misery (plus my o2 stats were low 70's - intensive care jobbie). Not something to be repeated.

Having a very serious accident changes your views somewhat.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Don't want to sound harsh to you or your mate, but you wouldn't stop driving if your mate had a bump in the car.

I must admit, I stopped driving partly because of this: I never hit anyone but every time I drove I was terrified that it would happen. It got worse and worse until I started getting full on anxiety attacks.

 

[kingrollo]

I don't cycle on roads anymore - been hit too many times whilst riding to work I've packed it in. Missing part of my spine, being left in permanent pain, and very nearly having to spend the next 40 years in a wheel chair put an end to it.

I MTB now, if I crash, and I do, it's my fault - or the tree/rock/root/mud's fault..... Not someone in 1500kg plus tin box running me down who doesn't care less.

The stress it put on my wife and kids whilst I was in hospital nearly 2 months wasn't worth it.

I was a hardened road cyclist, quite used to a few knocks, but badly fractured spine (2 vertebrae, 4 ribs, extensive bruising etc etc). PS the bike was fine. I must say I never want to be in that level of pain again - I was quite happy to die to put me out of my misery (plus my o2 stats were low 70's - intensive care jobbie). Not something to be repeated.

Having a very serious accident changes your views somewhat.

Bad shoot - thats the risk we all take.

 

[confusedcyclist]

But you lessen your risk of lifestyle illnesses by much more.

Yes, I said that.

 

[confusedcyclist]

Yes. Any remote-requestable tracker will do that. I think they're good ideas generally but not the snoopy commercial ones. Even a simple "find my phone" app will often work for this.

Not so useful if you work in A&E.

 

[confusedcyclist]

I have been hit by a car exiting a side road because I was obscured by the drivers A column. They are so thick on modern cars that they are a danger to smaller road users. You have to look the driver in the eye. Only once has a driver looked me in the eye and accelerated towards me.

Looking drivers in the eye is another myth unfortunately. Drivers look, but they don't always see/anticipate.
The only sensible way to mitigate it is keeping cyclists completely separated from motor traffic with inexpensive infrastructure (all things relative). In the mean time we are forced to ride with extreme caution and expect everyone hasn't seen you, but you'll be disappointed to learn that to execute that it means being in control and ready to stop on a moments notice at all times. Definitely don't engage with strava segments or fast descents on busy roads and junctions.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

The more time you spend in the saddle, the greater the risk of injury.

Just so this isn’t interpreted incorrectly.

It doesn’t mean the risk is any different if a rider has spent a lot of time riding in their life. In fact the more experience you have the likelihood of a lower risk due to the actions you to take to avoid stupid drivers or situations you recognise. What it means is that over your lifetime you are exposed to the risks more often. But the risk is the same every time you go out for a ride.

If I have 100,000 hours of saddle time I’m no more likely to be hit on my next ride than someone with just 100 hours saddle time.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I have been hit by a car exiting a side road because I was obscured by the drivers A column. They are so thick on modern cars that they are a danger to smaller road users. You have to look the driver in the eye. Only once has a driver looked me in the eye and accelerated towards me.

Primary and Secondary positioning is about where a driver is looking / expecting to see something when pulling out of a junction. Also about controlling the bit of road space you are in. Primary is essentially cycling where a car driver would be positioned on road. Useful to be in that position when approaching junctions. Beware of cycling up alongside cars stuck in traffic. Bike lanes as in white paint are in the worst position on a road for being noticed. In the door zone and not where most drivers are looking as that’d involving turning their head which is impossible due to lack of exercise and flabby necks.

See https://www.britishcycling.org.uk/c...ze-Bikeability--Part-4--On-Road-Positioning-0

 

[Slick]

I don't cycle on roads anymore - been hit too many times whilst riding to work I've packed it in. Missing part of my spine, being left in permanent pain, and very nearly having to spend the next 40 years in a wheel chair put an end to it.

I MTB now, if I crash, and I do, it's my fault - or the tree/rock/root/mud's fault..... Not someone in 1500kg plus tin box running me down who doesn't care less.

The stress it put on my wife and kids whilst I was in hospital nearly 2 months wasn't worth it.

I was a hardened road cyclist, quite used to a few knocks, but badly fractured spine (2 vertebrae, 4 ribs, extensive bruising etc etc). PS the bike was fine. I must say I never want to be in that level of pain again - I was quite happy to die to put me out of my misery (plus my o2 stats were low 70's - intensive care jobbie). Not something to be repeated.

Having a very serious accident changes your views somewhat.

That must have been tough.

Your spot on about what can change your viewpoint, which is why we all come up with different solutions because we have all had very different experiences.

I don't doubt for a second that I wouldn't ride on the road or anywhere else again if I went through what you went through.

 

[Slick]

I must admit, I stopped driving partly because of this: I never hit anyone but every time I drove I was terrified that it would happen. It got worse and worse until I started getting full on anxiety attacks.

Did you ever get to deal with it?

Mrs Slick is the exact same but she has never been involved in any incident but the fear of such is enough to stop her driving any distance. I would love to be able to do something about it.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Did you ever get to deal with it?

Mrs Slick is the exact same but she has never been involved in any incident but the fear of such is enough to stop her driving any distance. I would love to be able to do something about it.

The one possible approach would be Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, but honestly, I'm not interested. I learned to drive late and most unwillingly, because I was persuaded that in rural Bavaria I "needed to be able to drive"*. I never got used to being in a box so low down with blind spots, and not being able to hear anything. And the awareness that this thing can kill so very easily.

I was fine working in a city farm and driving the tractor because it was high, slow, and has relatively few blind spots.

*This was absolute twaddle, as it happens. There were cycle ways to most places and almost no traffic.