May I have a quick rant please?

[Arch]

Those of you from the Old Country (C+) may remember that I had occasion to rant about the American woman I used to share an office with. Many of you provided entertaining ways to deal with her... I've been working at another desk for some time now, so she'd dropped off my radar a bit...

But for the last week, I've been doing a little job back up in the old office, and yesterday, she was back from her latest trip to the States.

Ye Gods. I'd forgotton just how whiney, irritating, aggressive and...well... all the worst things American, she is. She ranted for an hour (not at me, thankfully, but to another colleague, but in my hearing) about her PhD supervisor, her thesis advisory panel, how much money she's spending to be here, how she's moved to England to do this PhD, how shoot everything is... It was endless.

Now, one of the people she's moaning about, I have to concede is a bit prickly, not someone I have much contact with, but I've heard stories. But the other two are people who have, over the 8 years I've been here, been unerringly friendly, helpful and supportive to me. Apparently, one of them told her she was being hostile, something she finds unbelievable - but she finds it unbelievable at high volume, in sentences peppered with swearing and blasphemy... Does she seriously not realise that her whole demeanour could be seen as hostile? She's done nothing but aggravate people since she came here - staff, students and porters, with demands, accusations, complaints...

We share a supervisor, and today he asked me "just between us" whether I'd found her a problem while working up there recently. Poor chap, he looks rather worn down, I suspect she's been bending his ear. There are going to be more people sharing that room soon, and I pity them...

Sorry, rant over. The irony of me ranting about someone ranting has not escaped me. But I just needed to vent a bit...

 

[bonj2]

We share a supervisor, and today he asked me "just between us" whether I'd found her a problem while working up there recently.

Well, what did you say? Did you have a rant about her to him?

 

[wafflycat]

Reminds me of some darling Stateside schoolgirls I came across once. They got loudly upset because the shops in a Norfolk market town wouldn't acept dollars. Wouldn't eat the food and insisted on being taken to McDonalds as it was 'real food' and how everything back home was sooo much better than over here... I had to strongly resist the urge to tell them to catch the next flight from Heathrow and save us all a lot of earache.

 

[Arch]

Well, what did you say? Did you have a rant about her to him?

I was a picture of academic correctness, and simply said that she had been rather vocal while I was up there, and that had I been trying to concentrate on anything too difficult, it would have been distracting.

Luckily, we know each other well enough for him to recognise vast understatement when I make it...

 

[domtyler]

I normally find that doing secret stuff is the most satisfying way to get back at these types, like bringing your girlfriend in to work at the weekend and having sex on his/her chair, accepting invitations to their house and wiping your genitals on their flannel, that kind of stuff.

 

[bonj2]

I think this woman needs to be put in her place - she needs to take a britishness test.
Show her pictures of things such as a cucumber, a car bumper, a pavement, a lift, etc. Simply ask her to name the objects - if she says "zucchini, fender, sidewalk, elevator", etc. she gets sacked. Might want to throw in a few that are the same in both for diversionary measure.

 

[wafflycat]

I normally find that doing secret stuff is the most satisfying way to get back at these types, like bringing your girlfriend in to work at the weekend and having sex on his/her chair, accepting invitations to their house and wiping your genitals on their flannel, that kind of stuff.

 

[Arch]

Reminds me of some darling Stateside schoolgirls I came across once. They got loudly upset because the shops in a Norfolk market town wouldn't acept dollars. Wouldn't eat the food and insisted on being taken to McDonalds as it was 'real food' and how everything back home was sooo much better than over here... I had to strongly resist the urge to tell them to catch the next flight from Heathrow and save us all a lot of earache.

Blimey. I think there are shops in rural Norfolk that won't take New Pence!

Yeah, I have to say, moaning about living in a foreign country does tend to leave people open to the old "Well, why don't you bugger off back home then..." remark.

One field school I worked on, an American student's Mum sent him a parcel of home comforts, all the usual awful chocolate bars and, get this, some teabags! Like we don't have teabags in Britain? I've been told since that the brand was in fact the US equivalent of Supersaver Value Teabags you might get over here at 440 for £1.50...

 

[Arch]

I think this woman needs to be put in her place - she needs to take a britishness test.
Show her pictures of things such as a cucumber, a car bumper, a pavement, a lift, etc. Simply ask her to name the objects - if she says "zucchini, fender, sidewalk, elevator", etc. she gets sacked. Might want to throw in a few that are the same in both for diversionary measure.

Nice idea (actually, zuchini is courgette...). If she failed, could I take a (tea) leaf from the history books and throw her into a harbour somewhere?

Dom - also good. But I wouldn't want to go to her house, even if invited. There's her and there's her creepy husband... <shudder> Ugh. Plus she might want to read me some of her poetry. Which rivals that of the Vogons.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Poor you Arch. Hopefully you still have plenty of work reorganising in the Attic - well away from her ladyship. That's all I can suggest - keep very well clear.

 

[Arch]

Poor you Arch. Hopefully you still have plenty of work reorganising in the Attic - well away from her ladyship. That's all I can suggest - keep very well clear.

Ah. No. You see, this office is in the attic - that's why I've been up there...

It's going to be crowded up there soon. One of the little office rooms has been condemned as an office, because the fire escape involves walking along a low narrow passage in a roof space. We may be allowed to use it as a storeroom. So now we have to fit more workspaces into less space than we had before... Ooooh, she won't like that. I think she thinks she should have the whole room to herself.

It's a pity, it's a lovely space to work in, all old beams and lattice windows, and a little bit Hogwarts. It' just the damn American....

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Time to play the seniority card then, and as you have a sympathetic and aware supervisor it shouldn't take a lot of persuasion.

Wot I'm trying to say is - ask for a workspace well away...........

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Oh - and ear plugs.....

 

[Arch]

Time to play the seniority card then, and as you have a sympathetic and aware supervisor it shouldn't take a lot of persuasion.

Wot I'm trying to say is - ask for a workspace well away...........

Trouble is, that's where her desk is, and I have to in and around there because that's where the stuff I'm working with is... To be honest, I'm not so worried about me. My job up there will probably only last a week or so more. But I feel sorry for the people moving up there soon...

Earplugs is a good idea though!

(the way things are going, I wonder if she'll get moved. But we'll never hear the end of it...)

 

[Fnaar]

The only solution is a whoopee cusion, I fear!