more useless than the wasp?

[theclaud]

...go to bed - your reputation is at stake.

This, Teef, is what happens when I stay off the booze in the evenings. Sobriety, I sometimes think, is over-rated.

 

[theclaud]

Damn, did I miss the Celery barney? I must stay-in more often.
The thing with teapots is this. man has designed many liquid holding vessels over the centuries with spouts/outlets that pour, cleanly, but somehow nobody has managed to attach one effectively to a teapot. Teapots are mostly OK up to the point where you have to dispense the tea and then they FAIL.

Don't worry - I think Uncle Mort put the miscreant straight. I would recommend you a teapot, if it weren't such a crushingly boring thing to do...

 

[Rezillo]

Damn. How did you find out about the, er, accident? I was nowhere near, and I can prove it...

Then why do you have out of date yogurt cartons and cheese string stuck in your hair? J'accuse!

John

 

[theclaud]

Then why do you have out of date yogurt cartons and cheese string stuck in your hair? J'accuse!

John

A surrealist denouement! I could get used to this Cafe lark...

 

[Aperitif]

This, Teef, is what happens when I stay off the booze in the evenings. Sobriety, I sometimes think, is over-rated.

Oh... and I was just commencing, thinking I was in with the crowd...Packet of share a bag crisps please Fab, to go with the rosé ta..!

 

[theclaud]

Oh... and I was just commencing, thinking I was in with the crowd...Packet of share a bag crisps please Fab, to go with the rosé ta..!

There's a Macallan on the shelf I'm trying not to look at, but the thing with whisky is that, like Stella, it renders you fit only for P&L...

 

[jonesy]

First Great Western's annoying safety announcements, repeated at every stop (their leaflet also being available in Braille upon request, as I've been told several times per commute for the last three years).

 

[wafflycat]

In the food (I use the term loosely) department..

tins of chicken in a savoury white sauce
tins of pilchards in tomato sauce
tripe
cow heel
black pudding
raw oysters
squid
octopus
tongue
cod roe
raw oysters
'hawaiian' pizza
TVP

 

[theclaud]

First Great Western's annoying safety announcements, repeated at every stop (their leaflet also being available in Braille upon request, as I've been told several times per commute for the last three years).

This is a good one, Jonesy! The announcements seem to use up most of your life. I can barely concentrate while I'm taking a moment to read the emergency instructions...

 

[jonesy]

This is a good one, Jonesy! The announcements seem to use up most of your life. I can barely concentrate while I'm taking a moment to read the emergency instructions...

Once we've had the safety announcement, the buffet announcement, the calling points announcement and the ticket restrictions announcement, the announcement about the 'quiet' coaches seems rather futile...

D'oh- I forgot the smoking and don't leave your luggage announcements! How could I possibly forget them, hearing them at least twice most days... says something about the effectiveness of endlessly repeated announcements!

 

[jonesy]

There's a Macallan on the shelf I'm trying not to look at, but the thing with whisky is that, like Stella, it renders you fit only for P&L...

Maybe you need a nice cup of tea and some virtual cake.

 

[Aperitif]

Oh (trend developing ) I prefer Malt easers; and I did have a Cragganmore on my return from Londres, before unscrewing the cap of... I'm suffering from PWS...we need rides.

OT: my nephew is appearing at the Olivier as The Quartermaster in 'Mother Courage & etc' - Any good? Will I understand?

 

[theclaud]

tins of pilchards in tomato sauce

I love these! And oysters, octopus, squid and black pudding. And tongue. Tripe I can take or leave, but I feel obliged to eat a bit of offal now and again. And hell, if you had all of them you'd have the beginnings of the famous Salade Crankarme!

 

[theclaud]

Maybe you need a nice cup of tea and some virtual cake.

Do I bollocks!

 

[Bollo]

Team building exercises!