Most accidents happen in the home
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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- Location
- The TerrorVortex
Well, I went on the roof to fix my TV aerial...
gbb
Legendary Member
- Location
- Peterborough
Two that i can immediately remember...
Airating the lawn with a garden fork. Stand there, ram the garden fork into the turf at 1 ft intervals. Its supposed to be good for the grass. I was working along the lawn, and my wife called me just as i was thrusting the fork downwards. I looked up...and the fork went straight through my trainers.
By some twist of fate...it passed between my big toe and the next one, never touched the skin, no mortal damage. Very very lucky.
Damn those venetian blinds wrapped in hard seethrough poly boxes.
I was struggling to cut one open, the staples wouldnt move, it was that hard the stanley knife flicked out in a millisecond and cut the top off one of my fingernails. A perfect circle of red flesh was all i could see. One of those moments when you almost scream, run up and down the landing (where did i think i was going ? ), grip your damaged finger with a vicelike grip while blood oozes out all over the place.
I tried to reproduce the movement later, to try to figure out how the hell it happened. Never did work it out .
Ooh, one of my dads...
He was an artist and used to do his own picture framing. he was cutting a cardboard mount with a straight edge and a stanley knife. You need to press the straight edge very firmly. He firmly ran the knife along the edge....and cut off his fingertip that was unknowingly sticking over the edge.
He stuck the 6mm long piece of finger back on and wrapped it up tight with plasters and a bandage. It mended ok.
Ahh, one of my mums..
Years ago she had an electric sewing machine. we heard a scream one day, she'd nearly fainted in agony and had a broken length of maybe 1mm diameter sewing needle straight through her fingernail and out the other side. Again, she hadn't got her finger out of the way. Hospital job. That wasn't funny
Airating the lawn with a garden fork. Stand there, ram the garden fork into the turf at 1 ft intervals. Its supposed to be good for the grass. I was working along the lawn, and my wife called me just as i was thrusting the fork downwards. I looked up...and the fork went straight through my trainers.
By some twist of fate...it passed between my big toe and the next one, never touched the skin, no mortal damage. Very very lucky.
Damn those venetian blinds wrapped in hard seethrough poly boxes.
I was struggling to cut one open, the staples wouldnt move, it was that hard the stanley knife flicked out in a millisecond and cut the top off one of my fingernails. A perfect circle of red flesh was all i could see. One of those moments when you almost scream, run up and down the landing (where did i think i was going ?
), grip your damaged finger with a vicelike grip while blood oozes out all over the place.I tried to reproduce the movement later, to try to figure out how the hell it happened. Never did work it out .
Ooh, one of my dads...
He was an artist and used to do his own picture framing. he was cutting a cardboard mount with a straight edge and a stanley knife. You need to press the straight edge very firmly. He firmly ran the knife along the edge....and cut off his fingertip that was unknowingly sticking over the edge.
He stuck the 6mm long piece of finger back on and wrapped it up tight with plasters and a bandage. It mended ok.
Ahh, one of my mums..
Years ago she had an electric sewing machine. we heard a scream one day, she'd nearly fainted in agony and had a broken length of maybe 1mm diameter sewing needle straight through her fingernail and out the other side. Again, she hadn't got her finger out of the way. Hospital job. That wasn't funny
Friend of a friend of a friend...
He decided he needed to make an extension cord for his electric lawnmower. Somewhere along the way he got muddled up, and instead of making a cord with a plug one end and socket the other, he connected a socket to the mower and made a lead with two plugs. Of course, this means once the extension is plugged in you have live, exposed pins on the other end.
So he plugs in the lead, switches it on, goes to attach it to the mower and ... BANG!
Big electric shock, he ends up out cold on the grass. Eventually he comes round. Confused and disoriented he tries to push himself up to his feet. In doing so his hand makes contact with the plug again and ... BANG!
He decided he needed to make an extension cord for his electric lawnmower. Somewhere along the way he got muddled up, and instead of making a cord with a plug one end and socket the other, he connected a socket to the mower and made a lead with two plugs. Of course, this means once the extension is plugged in you have live, exposed pins on the other end.
So he plugs in the lead, switches it on, goes to attach it to the mower and ... BANG!
Big electric shock, he ends up out cold on the grass. Eventually he comes round. Confused and disoriented he tries to push himself up to his feet. In doing so his hand makes contact with the plug again and ... BANG!
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
When I was a teenager, I went to visit a mate and found him trying to fix a poster to his bedroom wall using rusty drawing pins. The plaster was really tough and he was pushing hard on a pin when he managed to shove the pin part through the flat top and deep into his thumb!
His dad tried to pull it out with pliers but there wasn't enough sticking out to grip so off we went to the local hospital's A & E department (or Casualty as it was then known). He was turning a nice shade of green on the way there and so was I ...
What I want to know is this ... If they are so discreet and professional, how come everybody in the Sheffield area now knows that if their local vicar has been hobbling about recently after surgery, it could well be because he'd had a big spud stuck up his a*se!
His dad tried to pull it out with pliers but there wasn't enough sticking out to grip so off we went to the local hospital's A & E department (or Casualty as it was then known). He was turning a nice shade of green on the way there and so was I ...
Ho ho!
A & E nurse Trudi Watson said:
What I want to know is this ... If they are so discreet and professional, how come everybody in the Sheffield area now knows that if their local vicar has been hobbling about recently after surgery, it could well be because he'd had a big spud stuck up his a*se!
Rhythm Thief
Veteran
Once, carrying bags and bags of shopping up the stairs to my flat in the dark, I went for a step that wasn't there and fell with all my weight behind my nose onto the wall. I heard (and felt) my nose break and had to spend ten minutes in the bathroom putting it back together again.
... that looks pretty insignificant compared to some of the horror stories here, but it wasn't much fun!
... that looks pretty insignificant compared to some of the horror stories here, but it wasn't much fun!
HLaB
Marie Attoinette Fan
That reminds me, I was a wee bit older about 5 iirc and my brother locked me out and in frustration I managed to put my heal through the glass door. That wasn't an accident however
and there was no damage done (except to the door) 
Kirstie
Über Member
That reminds me, I was a wee bit older about 5 iirc and my brother locked me out and in frustration I managed to put my heal through the glass door. That wasn't an accident however
I've done that too. Aged 11 or so, I was chasing my little brother through the porch and into the house. Between the porch and the house was a door with two big panes of glass at the top and bottom, seperated by some wood in the middle of the door. My brother turned around and swung the door at me, whereupon my head, hands and arms went through the top pane and my knees through the bottom. There was not a cut on me, which was pretty amazing. My brother got the hiding of his life!!
Rhythm Thief
Veteran
When my sister was two years old, my parents had those little neon tube reading lights in their bed headboard. One day, tehy were downstairs with my sister asleep upstairs (so they thought) when they heard her crying. Up they went, to discover her standing on their bed screaming. they couldn't work out what had happened, until they found that both her thumbs were blackened and one of the neon tubes had been taken out of its fitting ...
Davidc
Guru
- Location
- Somerset UK
So if you're at home why aren't you wearing
1. A helmet
2. Industrial Gloves
3. Steel toe-capped protective shoes
4. Full body armour
5. A condom (on your finger of course)
6. Must be something else but I can't think of it.
You're all as bad as those cycling Johnnies who won't wear helmets. And don't give me any of that guff about it being safe at home, just look at the evidence. Oh, and don't give me any of that twaddle about anecdotes not being evidence, get that form those damned cyclists as well.
Yours totally insincerely and in search of larger profits
illegi b l e signature
Chairman, unnecessary safety equpment retailers association.
1. A helmet
2. Industrial Gloves
3. Steel toe-capped protective shoes
4. Full body armour
5. A condom (on your finger of course)
6. Must be something else but I can't think of it.
You're all as bad as those cycling Johnnies who won't wear helmets. And don't give me any of that guff about it being safe at home, just look at the evidence. Oh, and don't give me any of that twaddle about anecdotes not being evidence, get that form those damned cyclists as well.
Yours totally insincerely and in search of larger profits
illegi b l e signature
Chairman, unnecessary safety equpment retailers association.
deptfordmarmoset
Full time tea drinker
- Location
- Armonmy Way
Our daughter was an accident. Does that count?
asterix
Comrade Member
- Location
- Limoges or York
At home? Nothing much springs to mind apart from cutting my finger on one of those French pen knives day before y'day. I was opening a plastic packet just before installing a gate valvein the water supply pipe. Fortunately it's a wet kind of job and the blood was washed away.
'must be more careful..
'must be more careful..
gbb
Legendary Member
- Location
- Peterborough
Not mine, but the consequences of this one made me shudder...
I was down casualty with...someone or other
and this young guy came in with his parents, his head wrapped in a towel, looking very very sorry for himself. When he went in for treatment i got talking to his parents. What happened ? i asked...his mum explained...
He's got a car in the garage, he's always mucking about with them (for banger racing or similar i gathered), doing this, doing that...he had a big disc cutter, standing on the bonnet trying to cut a section out of the roof. The blade bit, the disc cutter flew up and the blade sliced him straight across the forehead.
Jesus...several thousand RPM with a disc that'll cut through metal...he could have cut his bleeding head orfff.
The worst of it was, she said...he'll never learn, the accidents he's had ?
I was down casualty with...someone or other
and this young guy came in with his parents, his head wrapped in a towel, looking very very sorry for himself. When he went in for treatment i got talking to his parents. What happened ? i asked...his mum explained...He's got a car in the garage, he's always mucking about with them (for banger racing or similar i gathered), doing this, doing that...he had a big disc cutter, standing on the bonnet trying to cut a section out of the roof. The blade bit, the disc cutter flew up and the blade sliced him straight across the forehead.
Jesus...several thousand RPM with a disc that'll cut through metal...he could have cut his bleeding head orfff.
The worst of it was, she said...he'll never learn, the accidents he's had ?
