Most accidents happen in the home

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Hanging curtains can be quite hazardous.
He wasn't alone.
The mobile phone one is the best:
When his wife answered the call, she became worried because she heard inexplicable gurgling sounds. She called the police, who investigated, and were no doubt shocked to learn that this time they had a real peanut on the phone!

I wish I could dig up the one about the clarinet, similarly 'positioned'. Rumours that the hapless victim actually managed to play a tune on it, may be apocryphal... :rolleyes:
 
As for me - well better make room for me Mr Darwin, I've booked my place!

Aged about 17 I plugged in the vacuum cleaner and it wouldn't start. It was an old-fasioned type in which the lead could be unplugged from the body of the cleaner. I thought the plug at that end wasn't making good contact, so I unplugged it and started to probe with a screwdriver to get the crud off.

Only thing was, I'd left it plugged into the mains at the other end.... :eek:

I apparently uttered a scream which Maria Callas might have envied. My father burst into the room and pulled me away from the cord. Then I was in the other sort of 'shock' and had to spend the next day or two in bed. The doctor was called and I narrowly missed being carted off to hospital.

No permanent effects though... :rolleyes: Except to my sense of dignity ....
 

longers

Legendary Member
I closed a car boot lid on my own head, leading to profuse bleeding, several hours in casualty and some stiches. Then 6 months later, i did it again.
smile.gif

I've shut the boot lid of a sooty van on my nose twice. Not as well as you did mind.
We ended up in the boot quite often when I was little and I was sat next to a friend when his dad shut the lid on his foot, by accident. His toes went either side of the pin and I think most of the noise he made was just shock at expecting it to be nasty.

I've done a cartoon half flip after running into a washing line.
 

brokenbetty

Über Member
Location
London
*shudder* I'm reading this thread through my fingers

I was washing a newly sharpened kitchen knife when it slipped and bounced gently over my knuckles. Lovely clean cut, didn't hurt at all but cut half-way through the tendon. Had to have the little nick opened to three times the size while they sewed it back together under a general anaesthetic.

Worst thing was that I cut myself about 7am making breakfast and they didn't operate til about 8pm. 12 hours nil by mouth, not even a glass of water.
 

ComedyPilot

Secret Lemonade Drinker
We have a reasonably narrow, average-ly steep staircase.

I was coming down one day and sort of .................................slipped.

Isaac Newton's famous discovery came into play and down I went, contacting every one of the 14 steps with my heels, calves, thighs, coccyx, back and head in repetative quick-succession.

I did have an extra tool in my arsenal to halt my front-hallway-bound trajectory though, as the staircase was so narrow I could splay my arms out to arrest my fall - which I did with some success.

It was all going well until I got to the bottom of the stairs, and I was not in as much pain with my skull, feet and bum as I had anticipated.

Wierdly those body parts (although a little tender) had stood up to the rigours of an-planned downward traverse quite well.

The things that were throbbing like a cobbler's thumb were my now-bleeding inner forearms....?

Note to self: Next time I decorate the hall, get rid of the sandpaper woodchip wallpaper.
 

phil_hg_uk

I am not a member, I am a free man !!!!!!
Came home from school kicked the door shut and put my foot straight through one of the panes of
glass, resulting in a large piece of jagged glass sticking out of my ankle. The hospital was only a few hundred
yards up the road so walked up there, leaving red footprints as I went, and got the glass removed and stitched up.

I was cycling home from a friends house when I was a kid it was during the summer holidays and it
had rained a bit so the road was a bit slippy. I went down a short hill and round the corner and the
the bike hit the deck and I slid all the way down the hospital car park and smashed into the hospital wall. Result
was chunk out of my thumb and ankle and a large round hole in my leg which took about 4 weeks to heal up
and I still have a large round scar to this day.

The first time I tried clipless came down the driveway and though the gate into the back garden stopped
then realised I couldnt unclip fell over onto the garden bench which was covered in alsorts of plant pots
put out my hand (as you do) went right though all the plant pots and cut open my finger like a banana split.
Result blood everywhere trip to hospital.

Getting back into my parents car after an evening shopping trip when I was a kid, dad shuts the door but my hand
was in the way, result flat thumb trip to hospital and xray dept.

I was sorting out the loft a couple of months ago, some of it is boarded out some isnt. Turned round took and took a step and went straight though the ceiling, luckily on of the beams caught me under the arm and stopped be from hitting the deck. I had moved some of the flooring as I had the water tank moved into the loft and needed something to support it but I had forgotten this.

I was cycling in the woods with some friends when I was a kid, when we came to the edge of the wood I went straight
over the handlebars and smashed my face into a large rock sticking out of the ground. Turns out the ditch I had just
cycled down had a bit which you could cycle over like a bridge, however I had missed that bit and cycling straght down
the ditch at full speed. Cue huge swollen face black eyes etc.

An ex-boss of mine was working in the garden smashing up a path with a sledge hammer, he took a large swing at the path but the sledge hammer hit the washing line and rebounded and smacked him full force on the head knocked him out cold. Luckily his wife had been a nurse so didnt freak out and he was ok just major concussion and slight memory loss.
 
Its safer at work than at home!
The company I work for has at various points had more people off sick with injuries sustained during time off the ships than they have had from work related ones. Dunno if its that everyones 'safety culture' switches off as they relax.
 

slowmotion

Quite dreadful
Location
lost somewhere
The table with the PC doubles as a dining one and lives at the dark end of our sitting room . It used to stand on a quarry tile floor ...very '70s. One night, I dropped my pen and it rolled down under the table and into the darkness. I went down on all fours to search below. What I did not realise was that there was a ten inch length of 22mm copper pipe down there too. Have you ever experienced the pain of putting about 50% of your body weight just below your right knee-cap , inserting a 22mm diameter cylinder, and forcing it very suddenly into a hard and unyielding surface?

Well I hadn't, but my nervous system and a bit of evolution took over. The pain caused me to straighten up violently from the waist, but there was the underside of the table above me, and the back of my skull hit the very sharp corner of a timber piece with remarkable force. Nursing my knee, I rolled around in pain. The high speed bash on the back of the head didn't hurt at all, but shortly after I felt something damp on my collar.

It is quite amazing how much blood comes out of scalp wounds, as the state of my pillow showed the next day. Never search for pens under a table. These days I tend to wear a helmet about the house....:thumbsup:
 

ColinJ

Puzzle game procrastinator!
Its safer at work than at home!
Not always ... :eek:

I'd just started my old factory job when someone made an elementary and painful mistake holding down a piece of carpet that he was cutting with a Stanley knife. He cut straight across the back of his hand ...

Someone else tried to clean some large glue-covered rollers by holding a wire brush against them as they rotated. He got pulled in up to his arm pit! How he didn't get his arm ripped off or at least badly broken I don't know. He got away with painful soft-tissue damage.

Someone else had his arms broken when the bolts holding the top part of a press broke while he was unloading it.

I accidentally flicked a rusty 4 inch nail into my eye when dismantling an old pallet using a claw hammer. I was rushed off to hospital, unable to see a thing and thinking that I'd blinded myself in that eye for sure. The doctor stained my eye with some special marker and let out a soft whistle. He told me that I was a very lucky young man - I'd actually put a scratch right across the eyeball without puncturing it! I was on antibiotics for a while and had to wear a patch for a week or two but my eyesight wasn't affected.

One from the office: It isn't a great idea to stand on a computer chair with castors, when changing the starter for a fluorescent light. It's even less sensible to get distracted by a buzzing wasp and swat at it when doing that... Yeah, a colleague did it. The chair went one way, and he went the other way, face-planting on the front edge of his desk. It wasn't pretty...

On the other hand (and talking of eyes), back to domestic accidents ...

[WARNING FOR THE SQUEAMISH - THIS IS A REALLY BAD ONE!]

My brother-in-law was given a train set for Christmas when he was a little boy. He unwrapped his present and was so excited when he saw what it was that he grabbed the train in one hand and a length of track in the other and ran towards his mother, shouting "Mum, mum look what Santa's brought me!", tripped over and gouged an eye out in front of the whole family! :eek:
 

longers

Legendary Member
My first girlfriends sister was cycling with pencils pointy end up in her hand. She just got away with it and kept her eye but it was close. And not in the house.

I just about remember my sister getting her hand stuck down the back of a radiator in winter and my dad having to whip it off the wall as quick as he could as she only waited till the heating came on to mention it. She got a burn but not too bad considering.

I was told to mind that frying pan as it was hot when I was at head height to the cooker, so stuck my tongue on it.
 

longers

Legendary Member
And another car boot story.

Mum and dads first dog hated car journeys and would howl for most of the journey. They'd been to see my aunt and uncle and shut him in and set off but the reason he was howling this time was 4" of his tail was hanging out the boot. I don't think it helped his love of cars.
 

ColinJ

Puzzle game procrastinator!
I was told to mind that frying pan as it was hot when I was at head height to the cooker, so stuck my tongue on it.
As you do!

It's a bit like those people in the Yukon or Siberia who think it is funny to lick metal posts in winter ...


Speaking of hot pans ... I was in the kitchen with my mum once when I was a little boy. There was a pan of boiling water on the cooker. The doorbell rang and my mum went to answer it. It was our GP. Suddenly I let out a terrible scream, having pulled the pan of boiling water down over myself. Apparently, the doctor shoved my mum out of the way, ran into the kitchen and had me in a washing up bowl full of cold water within seconds so I didn't develop any burns - lucky or what!
 

longers

Legendary Member
It's a bit like those people in the Yukon or Siberia who think it is funny to lick metal posts in winter ...

:blush:

Crag Bank playground never got as cold as them places but I did do this accidentally on purpose. At least twice.
But never with the fibreglass "kit" they supplied/dumped on us.
 

Mad Doug Biker

Just a damaged guy.
Location
Craggy Island
As you do!
It's a bit like those people in the Yukon or Siberia who think it is funny to lick metal posts in winter ...

Speaking of hot pans ... I was in the kitchen with my mum once when I was a little boy. There was a pan of boiling water on the cooker. The doorbell rang and my mum went to answer it. It was our GP. Suddenly I let out a terrible scream, having pulled the pan of boiling water down over myself. Apparently, the doctor shoved my mum out of the way, ran into the kitchen and had me in a washing up bowl full of cold water within seconds so I didn't develop any burns - lucky or what!

I have had MANY accidents in my time, but this reminds me of the first time I ever saw an electric hob on a cooker when I was a kid. I could feel heat, but I couldn't see where it was coming from (the light wasn't on), so I put my hand onto the hob to find out, and before I knew it, my hand was making a nice sizzling noise.

I had to go to bed with my hand in a bowl of water (which didn't make me pee myself).
 

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
Surprisingly I've not had any significant accidents in the home. I've had several near death incidents during leisure time and working in agriculture but they will keep for later.

My younger son had one of the funniest domestic accidents that I've encountered. I have half a dozen or so cacti growing on a windowsill. One of them has vicious spines at least one inch long. Walking past the cacti, he managed to knock the spiky one off the windowsill. Instinctively he caught it. There was a split second pause before a blood curdling scream and him throwing it vertically upwards. There was second or so's pause before the second blood curdling scream when he caught the cactus again and replaced it on the windowsill.

I couldn't offer him any comfort. I was crying with laughter.
 
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