Most accidents happen in the home

[slowmotion]

Yep, some of those hoses look distinctly short...

 

[ColinJ]

Yep, some of those hoses look distinctly short...

You'd have to be seriously stupid to stick an important part of your body in one of those, wouldn't you! One look at it and you'd know it wasn't a great idea ...

 

[ColinJ]

this is embarrassing

I had thrown my back out, coming off my downhill bike at about 40mph and kissing a small elm tree on the way by. Aside from the back aching, I was bruised up fairly well on whole right side.
After much ado.. I was finally in the tub, laying down, soaking in the hottest water I could stand..

the inane little 4-legged b**tard cat I had, decided to walk along the edge of the tub.. but wasn't bright enough to do it without slipping in...
he HATED water.. and as he landed on my groin, which was about 3 inches under the level of the water, he began thrashing and clawing wildly at anything and everything trying to get back out of the tub... it probably only took him.. 3-4 seconds to get out.. but he had scratched me to hell in places never designed to come in contact with cats claws..... of course, I tried to sit up very quickly, further hurting my back, so I was now trapped in the tub, in agony from both spasming back, and my entire mid-section having been scratched to ribbons by the cat. .. Was an hour before I could get myself out of the tub..and sorted out.....
.. bloody cat.

Ho ho - that's very funny! (Maybe not for you though.)

I had a cat try and run up my leg as if it was a tree once and that was bad enough ...

 

[Cardiac]

Sorry, I hate to admit it, but I haven't laughed so much or so hard in ages as reading this thread just now....

Anyway, not too many bad ones from my side, but I will never forget about 40 years ago, I was shutting a friend's front door. Not thinking too much and keen to go out, I shut it by holding the door with my hand through the letter box. The snag was the inward facing flap which promptly dug into and peeled the skin of the top of one of my fingers. Lots of blood of course.

 

[Ste T.]

During the last big freeze, my lot where in bed and I stayed up to watch a movie till 1.00 am. As I was on my way to bed I realised I hadn't locked the front gate so I went out and was walking down the sloping path when my feet went from under me. The back of my head was the first thing to hit the path with an almighty crack and I lay there dazed and half aware of my surroundings. After a minute I got up and staggered indoors and in a short while I had a lump the size of a duck egg on the back of my head.
It was only the next day that it dawned on me that but for luck I hadn't been knocked out. It was minus 14 that night and it would have been my next door neighbour who found me, frozen to the pavement at 7.00 am on his way out to work.

 

[Kestevan]

With the exception of my mother, I'm the most accident prone person I've ever met. I think I've managed to break or dislocate every bone in my body over the years by doing stupid things.

The one that stands out however highlights the dangers of NOT doing DIY......

I was making a big pot of chilli. Now this entails the use of both sharp knives and hot pans, so for normal people the dangers are obvious... pah amateurs, you need to think outside the box....

I'd prepped all the ingredients and was looking for the chilli powder. I'd just bought a nice big 1kg bag of this from the indian grocer, and shoved the pack up on the top shelf in the kitchen cupboard.

Now the shelves were getting on a bit, and I'd been saying for a while they needed to be cleared out and renovated, but theres always better things to be doing on a weekend than DIY. So it was that the laminate strip on the edge of the shelf had split and was standing up a bit. As I grabbed the chilli powder (shelf is above head height) and pulled it toward me, the laminate caught the plasic bag, and sliced the bottom off.

Course, at this point I was looking up just as it started to rain chilli powder. The best part of kilo hit me right between the eyes. This made me scream. This made me breath in the bits that werent in my eyes. This would have made me scream more, except all I could do at this point was gurgle.

The neighbours heard the screams and came running.....they found me on the lawn trying to rub my face off on the wet grass. The pain was unbelievable, it took days before I could see properly, and months before I could face another chilli.

 

[661-Pete]

With the exception of my mother, I'm the most accident prone person I've ever met. I think I've managed to break or dislocate every bone in my body over the years by doing stupid things.

The one that stands out however highlights the dangers of NOT doing DIY......

I was making a big pot of chilli. Now this entails the use of both sharp knives and hot pans, so for normal people the dangers are obvious... pah amateurs, you need to think outside the box....

I'd prepped all the ingredients and was looking for the chilli powder. I'd just bought a nice big 1kg bag of this from the indian grocer, and shoved the pack up on the top shelf in the kitchen cupboard.

Now the shelves were getting on a bit, and I'd been saying for a while they needed to be cleared out and renovated, but theres always better things to be doing on a weekend than DIY. So it was that the laminate strip on the edge of the shelf had split and was standing up a bit. As I grabbed the chilli powder (shelf is above head height) and pulled it toward me, the laminate caught the plasic bag, and sliced the bottom off.

Course, at this point I was looking up just as it started to rain chilli powder. The best part of kilo hit me right between the eyes. This made me scream. This made me breath in the bits that werent in my eyes. This would have made me scream more, except all I could do at this point was gurgle.

The neighbours heard the screams and came running.....they found me on the lawn trying to rub my face off on the wet grass. The pain was unbelievable, it took days before I could see properly, and months before I could face another chilli.

You were doing this all wrong, Kestevan. Let Lister show you the correct way of making chilli (at about 01:55).
Problem solved.

 

[tyred]

I've just thought of something that was unbeliveably painful. I bumped my head about two years ago and think I actually knocked myself. I found myself sitting there with blurred vision and not knowing what had happened.

What had actually happened was I was about to go somewhere on my bike, put on my helmet (unusual for me), remembered I had left my phone in the glovebox of the car, opened the drivers door and went to sit on the drivers seat, I forgot about the helmet and hit my helmet an unbelievable bang on the car door post and a few minutes later was staring blankly through the windscreen with blurred vision wondering what had the hell had happened. There was actually a chip on my helmet shell and a dent on the car bodywork. I have never worn a helmet since!

 

[Spinney]

Crag Bank playground never got as cold as them places but I did do this accidentally on purpose. At least twice.
But never with the fibreglass "kit" they supplied/dumped on us.

I used to live half a mile from there!

 

[Crackle]

Holy thread resurrection, spinney!

 

[MontyVeda]

I used to live half a mile from there!

I was introduced to the delights of Hawkwind, Gong and Jethro Tull on The Drive... just off Crag Bank Road. Maybe i should put a claim in.

 

[Spinney]

Holy thread resurrection, spinney!

Sorry, was reading another thread that linked to this one, then just carried on reading this one.
ColinJ's fault...

 

[Spinney]

[QUOTE 2975802, member: 1314"]Made a Scotch Bonnet chilli sauce then forgot not to touch my willie. Again.

Took all 5 fingers off in the back cog of the fixed but rode manfully to A&E with them in my back-pocket, wrist torniqueted with elastic bands.

Lost a leg to a shark attack whilst rescuing a baby from drowning as I was crazy-paving the back patio.[/quote]
It is possible that two of these incidents (possibly all three) may not be 100% true...

 

[ASC1951]

[QUOTE 2975802, member: 1314"]Made a Scotch Bonnet chilli sauce then forgot not to touch my willie. Again.[/quote]Doh! How many times have we told you to use a wooden spoon, like the rest of us?

 

[MontyVeda]

Almost every DIY job i do is signed with my blood... isn't that the rule?