My friend is a bastard.........

he's sent me a letter and filled it full of these:-

[ATTACH=full]159072[/ATTACH]..........little circles from a hole punch.
I'm now plotting my revenge.
ps The big white thing is my mighty mouse
pps I ought to do something about my avatar too.*

 

chads... as they are known

you could place a pile next to a fan in his house/office and then flick the switch.

 

Post them on to Dubya. He ought to appreciate the gift, after all it was 'chads' that helped him - er - 'win' an election in 2000...

 

Please remember that 'Revenge is a dish best served cold!' Forget about it - for a few months, he is expecting something from you now. Visit him in a few month's time and stuff a kipper down the back of his sofa.

 

Send him a parcel with many, many layers of thick brown tape wrapped around it. Make sure the 'DO NOT CUT' instruction is clearly visible. Hint at the wonders to be found therein...
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.....said wonders to include more chads, polystyrene balls and a biscuit spread with anchovy paste.

 

is that outof that douglas adams book of words for which there isn't a word... it's good that

 

nope... it's just what they're called. i was taught that when i was at BT in the 80s, before the Meaning of Liff

 

Alternatively you could make a similar envelope containing glitter - the type that women use as part of face paint. It sticks to everything and is remarkably hard to get rid of.

 

The ultimate chads were from Datek keyboards - again in the early 80s. Miniscule circles that never seemed to get cleared away!

 

What about a load of cress seed,the ones he misses will show themselves soon enough,as they grow out of the carpet.

 

Fax him at work a final demand from a brothel.

Do it properly on headed paper and make it look like he did it on company expenses

 

Publish his bank details in The Sun

 

best one I did was fill (literally fill) a closed umbrella with them. Next time my friend (ex-friend) went outside in the rain he apparantly got covered in them. Only shame was I wasn't there !!!

 

Sh*g his wife?

 

No, you are thinking of Didcots - the little pieces punched out of tickets by railway ticket inspectors. At the wedding of Princess Margaret, the confetti consisted of thousands of didcots....