My mother's hip

[wafter]

My 76yr old mum's had issues with her joints in later life and has one hip replacement as well as some work on her knees. These problems have doubtless been compounded in recent years due to creeping weight gain.

Unfortunately the other hip has degraded significantly in recent months, essentially immobilising her with how painful it’s become.

She’s had X-rays and her doctor has told her there’s nothing to be done other than to take painkillers and to "grin and bear it". The doctor failed to identify any particular cause and given past experiences with this practice neither of us trust their competence or truthfulness.

We now need to find another way to attack this as it’s destroyed what little quality of life she had and the thought of her having to endure this miserable situation is a bleak prospect and something she’s clearly having difficulty dealing with.

So far we’ve discussed:

Physio – Unfortunately anything that requires pro-activity and effort is a hard sell “It hurts too much”

Going Private – Hoping this will be viable, from the perspectives of both getting a more trustworthy opinion and actually getting surgery done (if appropriate) within a reasonable timeframe

Weight loss – Again conventional approaches are too much effort, she won’t do semaglutides because of the injections and has even rejected the concept of a tablet form (if this becomes available) because she “doesn’t agree with it”.


I’m desperately trying to find some way of improving her situation but am struggling given the limited options and her attitude.

I’d welcome any thoughts or experiences people might be able to offer on how we can make the best of this situation.

Thanks!

 

[Webbo2]

The problem you/ she may have is she has surgery and gets a new hip will she do the rehab. There is quite a lot of studies saying that older people who hip/ knee replacement surgery are no more active or mobile than prior to the surgery.

 

[Sharky]

Are there any appropriate charities or support groups that could give advice?

Maybe .....
UK Arthritis Charity - Arthritis Action https://share.google/oDUiGWaPqyHryc6oc

 

[raleighnut]

Are there any appropriate charities or support groups that could give advice?

Maybe .....
UK Arthritis Charity - Arthritis Action https://share.google/oDUiGWaPqyHryc6oc

The phrase 'Chocolate teapot' comes to mind, as someone relatively young (64) who is 'riddled with' Arthritis the surgical option is more painful and doesn't really help......................decent pain relief is a better option...................Cannabis based as opposed to Opiates ?

 

[All uphill]

I'm sorry to hear this @wafter

Not easy for you or your mother.

I'd suggest that you offer to attend an appointment with your mother; if she agrees write to the GP practice saying your mother is in pain and distressed at the lack of help from them. She is no great age and you would expect some intervention from them to enable her to continue in independent living

That nicely covers possible ageism and makes clear your expectations.

If they don't respond well refer them to the NHS charter; let them know it's easier to work with you both.

 

[raleighnut]

I'm sorry to hear this @wafter

Not easy for you or your mother.

I'd suggest that you offer to attend an appointment with your mother; if she agrees write to the GP practice saying your mother is in pain and distressed at the lack of help from them. She is no great age and you would expect some intervention from them to enable her to continue in independent living

That nicely covers possible ageism and makes clear your expectations.

If they don't respond well refer them to the NHS charter; let them know it's easier to work with you both.

Yep the NHS is a great example of 'Buck Passing', you get a 'referral' to a specialist who does nothing, been there got the 'T'shirt

 

[fossyant]

At 76 you may be on to a battle, unless she was active. MIL wouldn't try stuff. Losing weight is easy if you don't put it in the cake hole, but it's not easy is it.

Unless she was fit and active and mobile, its a massive surgery. Got this to look forward with my smashed left hip but I'm 20 years younger and actively keeping the weight down and mean to be as active as possible before the real pain starts. Been told it's going to be needed.

Surgery could make things worse for her, ie a killer.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

From the sound of your GP you might be better off looking at other GPs

or writing a formal letter complaining about the lack of treatment for something that is the specific cause of making her house/bed bound


Another option is to look at Social Services - or private - ways to make her able to get about more easily
such as a mobility scooter or something

and aids around the house to allow her to move more easily

at least she would be able to get out

 

[Pat "5mph"]

76 is no age to expect being an invalid just because of one's age.
I have a 75 yo colleague who is just coming back to work after a knee replacement - cleaning job, so a bit heavy on the joints.
If after the appropriate investigations a hip replacement is advised, she should get it, she must insist on an ortho consult.
However, it also needs to be made clear to her if weight loss is essential in order to have the op and eventually be pain free.
If after hearing the consultant's opinions she still insists on carrying on with her current lifestyle, you must be firm and tell her you don't want to hear complains about pain etc.
Could well be that the ortho says there's nothing to be done, then the only thing you could do to support your mum is to do like @ebikeerwidnes suggest above.
All the best!

 

[midlandsgrimpeur]

She’s had X-rays and her doctor has told her there’s nothing to be done other than to take painkillers and to "grin and bear it"

Why aren't they talking about surgery as an option?

Family friend is a similar age and has had both hips replaced in the last 18 months.

My Nan had hers done in her mid 80's and made a great recovery.

Yes, it is a big op, but many people in their later years have it done with great success.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Why aren't they talking about surgery as an option?

Family friend is a similar age and has had both hips replaced in the last 18 months.

My Nan had hers done in her mid 80's and made a great recovery.

Yes, it is a big op, but many people in their later years have it done with great success.

Whetheror not it is likely to be successful is something for a consultant to decided - the GP should refer her up the chain

Some GPs have far too high an opinion of themselves and seem to forget that the patient is the centre of things