Myths and Rebuttals

[Maz]

No, you're not, but you're at risk of opening a huge can of worms.

Rebuttal: Worms don't come in cans.

 

[Arch]

Myth: "Cyclists don't pay VED".

Rebuttal: "Cycles are subject to VED - however, they are zero rated (unlike you gas-guzzling penis replacement)".

They have petrol powered vibrators these days?

Talking of penises (I never thought I'd say that on this forum!) I suppose there's the old variation on the "why can't women park cars" joke.

"I gave you plenty of room!"
"That's because you claim this <hold fingers an insultingly small distance apart> is six inches..."

There's the riding two abreast one, I was just looking at in Campaign. the Highway code says never ride MORE THAN two abreast, not never ride two abreast...

 

[Arch]

However, if you read on it talks about cycling single file when the road is busy....

Yes, but the point is, it doesn't say you must never ride two abreast, which is what most people seem to think.

 

[PBancroft]

Myth: Cyclists should not use the road at rush hour as they slow everyone else down.

Rebuttal #1: Cyclists take up less space in congested areas, allowing more room for cars.

Rebuttal #2: Cyclists do not use the motorways at all (obviously), which still gets congested at these times. How are cyclists to blame for this?

Rebuttal #3: You would introduce a subjective and discriminatory curfew over a subset of society based upon their vehicle of choice, hindering their ability to arrive at work or be at home with their family? Obviously you don't work or have a family otherwise you would be on a bike and not sat in the traffic jam, so may I suggest that your recommendation is taken up, but rather that drivers are not allowed to use the road at your proposed time to allow the free flow of traffic for the benefit of other road users?

 

[Riding in Circles]

Comment: "But I ride a bike"

Rebuttal: any ideas?

Shut up!

 

[Carwash]

Comment: "But I ride a bike"

Rebuttal: any ideas?

How about: "Well if you cycle with the same care and attention as you drive, it's a wonder you're not dead!"

 

[ufkacbln]

Comment: "But I ride a bike"

Rebuttal: any ideas?

I hope for your sake you cycle better than you drive!

 

[ufkacbln]

Which comes to another one...

Peroxide blonde in 4x4 which overtook and then stopped across the ASL.

"Hi - As this area is exclusively for bikes - You shouldn't be here... As this is a car, you must be a bike?

Watch face change as she realises connotation!

 

[ufkacbln]

Rebuttal: Worms don't come in cans.

Rebuttal of rebuttal:

Yes they do - and in a choice of flavours!

 

[Riding in Circles]

Myth: "you fat b@stard" (OK, I can pretend it's a myth)

Rebuttal: Yes I know. That's why I ride a bike. What are you doing about it?

An alternative is;

"I can get slimmer, you will be ugly for the rest of your life"

 

[BentMikey]

Who is Chapman?

LOL, you noob!!

 

[GrahamG]

Which comes to another one...

Peroxide blonde in 4x4 which overtook and then stopped across the ASL.

"Hi - As this area is exclusively for bikes - You shouldn't be here... As this is a car, you must be a bike?

Watch face change as she realises connotation!

That's golden.

 

[Tetedelacourse]

So it seems there are only 4 myths:

1. tax
2. cycle lanes
3. flashing lights
4. cycling two abreast

One rebuttal suits all: "wrong". Increase in volume and repeat until you deem the situation to be resolved.

Not really worthy of a sticky is it?

 

[biking_fox]

Myth: You should be in the cycle lane
Rebuttal: Like you should only be on the motorway?

Although the downside is that it suggests that cycle lanes are faster than the road when they aren't.

 

[ChrisKH]

Hopefully I should be able to put some of these rebuttals to good use. A letter to the local rag with the usual anti-cycling rubbish in it is screaming out for a written response.