National Limerick Day today.

[Poacher]

A randy young plumber from Leigh
Was plumbing a girl by the sea
Said she "Stop your plumbing
There's somebody coming."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."

 

[Dogtrousers]

There once was a man from Nantucket,"……………..

you lot can fill in the rest.

I remember one that begins that way, and doesn't have the obvious rhyme. He kept all his money in a bucket and had a daughter called Nan. It ended "And as for the bucket, Nan took it".

Off to google.

Edit. Here you go:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_once_was_a_man_from_Nantucket

 

[Andy_R]

One of my favourites, by the late, great Spike Milligan:

A baby sardine
Saw his first submarine
He was scared as he watched through a peephole
"Oh come, come, come" said the Sardine's mum
"It's only a tin full of people"

 

[Cycleops]

The haddock is a lucky fish
From all disease insured
Should he be ill when caught at sea
Immediately he's cured.

Spike Milligan.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I read it's National Limerick Day
and it sounded quite exciting
So I wracked by brain
which I found a strain
and now I'm sick of bloody writing.

 

[ClichéGuevara]

On a forum for those that like bikes
I wrote a poem about haddocks and pikes
It may be a bore
But I’ll not write anymore
Unless people give my rhymes enough likes

 

[Phaeton]

The haddock is a lucky fish
From all disease insured
Should he be ill when caught at sea
Immediately he's cured.

Spike Milligan.

For some unknown reason I have always liked

String is a
Very important thing
Rope is thicker
But string is quicker.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Another oldie:

There once was a fellow from Twickenham
Who bought some new shoes and walked quick in 'em
He walked for a mile
And came to a stile
Then took off his shoes and was sick in 'em

 

[Reynard]

There was an old man of Border
Who lived in utmost disorder
Made tea in his hat
And danced with his cat
Such was the old man of Border

 

[ClichéGuevara]

One like for the first
and just three for second
I'll not bother with more,
I thought at least stardom beckoned.

 

[Threevok]

My Fave Benny Hill one..

Don't put off what you can do today
or else it may lead to sorrow.
Coz if you do it today and like it,
you can do it again tomorrow

 

[ColinJ]

My Fave Benny Hill one..

Don't put off what you can do today
or else it may lead to sorrow.
Coz if you do it today and like it,
you can do it again tomorrow

That is NOT a limerick!

 

[Poacher]

There was a young lady from Twickers
Who got on a bus with no knickers
Besides the conductor
Ten other men ****** her
Including a couple of vicars

 

[Dogtrousers]

One like for the first
and just three for second
I'll not bother with more,
I thought at least stardom beckoned.

I would be clicking the like button right now, but seeing that you're such a tart I've decided not to.

 

[classic33]

"There was a young lady named Alice
Who peed in a Catholic chalice
The Padre agreed
It was done out of need
And not out of Protestant malice."