National Limerick Day today.

[Reynard]

There was once a lady called Jill
Who rode a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil...

 

[Threevok]

There was a young women from Machynlleth

then again, perhaps not

 

[Profpointy]

There are those who profess to some doubt
your claim to be virgin, Miss Stout
But if I may so blunt
You withhold men your ...



Perhaps I'd better think of another one

 

[T4tomo]

best in a yorkshire accent

There was a old man from Scawton,
who had a terribly short 'un
to make up for his loss
he had balls like an hos
and a fart like a 850 Norton

 

[Smokin Joe]

There once was a man from Bel Air
Who was doing his wife on the stair
But the banister broke
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air.

 

[flake99please]

There once was a fly on the wall,
I wonder, why didn’t it fall?
Because its feet stuck? Or was it just luck?
Or does gravity miss things so small?

 

[ColinJ]

One day the Smithsonian as an organization
Wished to increase their visitors’ digital participation
And after some scanning,
and much project planning
They achieved their goal through digitization!

Rhyming: 8/10
Rhythm: 1/10
Humo(u)r: 0/10

 

[Beebo]

There once was a man from Nantucket,"……………..

you lot can fill in the rest.

 

[matticus]

Rhyming: 8/10
Rhythm: 1/10
Humo(u)r: 0/10

Not sure Mr Lear would have been impressed. But I thought the Middle Eight went quite well, no?

 

[Reynard]

Reynard's a Cambridgeshire lass,
When cycling she gives it some gas,
Her bright red machines,
Are all powered by beans,
And a soundtrack that's purely first class...


Well, I had to, didn't I?

 

[Threevok]

There was a hooker from Bethesda,
whose lineouts were accurate never.
When tiling his grate,
half were not straight
and the rest missed the wall altogether

 

[ColinJ]

There once was a man from Nantucket,"……………..

you lot can fill in the rest.

Ok...

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who drank cold Coke by the bucket
Every tooth that he'd got
Fell out from the rot
So food now, he just has to suck it!

 

[Beebo]

Cummings drove himself to Barnard Castle,
Testing his eyes? what a hassle!
Boris said here’s the sack
But then hired him straight back
Cos It takes one, to know one’s an peanut.

Censored by cycle chat!

 

[Smokin Joe]

There once was a hooker named Sue
Who filled her vagina with glue
When they paid to get in
She said with a grin
You must pay to get out of it too

 

[Poacher]

A randy young plumber from Leigh
Was plumbing a girl by the sea
Said she "Stop your plumbing
There's somebody coming."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."