Need help

[GfromHull]

Cut a long story short, crank snapped I lost balance and I hit the ground...and a HGV. Worst bit is my left hand is all messed up pins, screws and repaired tendons.

Now my partner doesn't want me to get another bike, I have danced around the subject just to test the water but it doesn't look good. I want to give it a big push and change her mind. I know everyone is different but how would you talk your other half round? Without using black mail or weapons.

Also, I used all my Browne points up last year on a lads holiday.

 

[ianrauk]

I wouldn't try talk her round,
I would just get a bike, get on it and ride.
It's a one off accident, one of those things.
And if she doesn't like it, then oh well.

 

[Ian Cooper]

She doesn't want you to have another bike? So what? Tell her to piss off!

If I were ever in an accident that involved me in hospital and a totaled bike, I wouldn't have to convince my wife to 'let' me get another bike. She knows instinctively that my going without a bike is not an option. If she loves me, she'll buy me another one so it's ready when I get out of the hospital. If she wasn't willing to do that, there would be trouble.

A bike isn't like a thing that one can just 'manage without'.

On the other hand, I guess there are some cyclists who have not fully committed to cycling. I hear some semi-committed cyclists even learn how to drive cars. Traitors! For those folks, it's not surprising that their partners might think a bike might be an 'optional' belonging. If you're wishy washy on being a cyclist, you're going to find times when that lack of commitment comes back to bite you on the bum.

So you have to be firm. Tell her that, for you, cycling is not optional. It's a necessity.

And, as I advise all cyclists who are ever in a wreck: look critically at your cycling habits. No wreck is ever 100% the other guy's fault. There are always ways to vastly reduce the risk of a collision.

 

[GfromHull]

She doesn't want you to have another bike? So what? Tell her to piss off!

If I were ever in an accident that involved me in hospital and a totaled bike, I wouldn't have to convince my wife to 'let' me get another bike. She knows instinctively that my going without a bike is not an option. If she loves me, she'll buy me another one so it's ready when I get out of the hospital. If she wasn't willing to do that, there would be trouble.

A bike isn't like a thing that one can just 'manage without'.

On the other hand, I guess there are some cyclists who have not fully committed to cycling. I hear some semi-committed cyclists even learn how to drive cars. Traitors! For those folks, it's not surprising that their partners might think a bike might be an 'optional' belonging. If you're wishy washy on being a cyclist, you're going to find times when that lack of commitment comes back to bite you on the bum.

So you have to be firm. Tell her that, for you, cycling is not optional. It's a necessity.

And, as I advise all cyclists who are ever in a wreck: look critically at your cycling habits. No wreck is ever 100% the other guy's fault. There are always ways to vastly reduce the risk of a collision.

Love the reverse psychology, but she comes first and I wouldn't do it without her blessing.

 

[Ian Cooper]

Love the reverse psychology, but she comes first and I wouldn't do it without her blessing.

I think I'm gonna puke! Do you get her blessing before you eat too?

Look, you may be her life partner, but that doesn't mean you're her slave. You have to have some things that are sacrosanct. You have to decide whether or not the bike is one of those things. To be honest, it sounds as if you've already decided it's not. You have, after all, already sacrificed it to her whim.

Your transportation options are none of her business.

If she is truly concerned for your safety, she'll let you ride. Cycling is twice as safe as driving (which I assume she's fine with).

If my wife ever told me she would prefer me not to ride, a short derisive laugh would be the end of that notion. If she pressed the issue, I would tell her in no uncertain terms that there is no way she or anyone else could ever stop me from getting on a bike. They will have to pry my handlebars from my cold dead fingers before I give it up.

 

[GfromHull]

I think I'm gonna puke! Do you get her blessing before you eat too?

Look, you may be her life partner, but that doesn't mean you're her slave. You have to have some things that are sacrosanct. You have to decide whether or not the bike is one of those things. To be honest, it sounds as if you've already decided it's not. You have, after all, already sacrificed it to her whim.

Your transportation options are none of her business.

If she is truly concerned for your safety, she'll let you ride. Cycling is twice as safe as driving (which I assume she's fine with).

If my wife ever told me she would prefer me not to ride, a short derisive laugh would be the end of that notion. If she pressed the issue, I would tell her in no uncertain terms that there is no way she or anyone else could ever stop me from getting on a bike. They will have to pry my handlebars from my cold dead fingers before I give it up.

Im ordering my new ribble tomorrow and she can have the surprise of putting it together for me ;-)

 

[Boris Bajic]

I think you made a good call. Only you will know your domestic situation and your own priorities. You've thought about it and sought advice and made the judgement.

It's nice to have someone who cares about you enough to want to take you out of harm's way - but you'd hope that she will also know you well enough to know that you're going to ride anyway.

I know neither of you, but it may be (as a guess) that she was making it clear to you how much you mean to her and how much she fears losing you.

That's a pretty nice thing to hear from a sweetie-pie whether you're 25, 55 or 95.

Good on you for not using blackmail. That's not a good way to set things out for what might be a lifetime.

As it happens, I'm probably one of those spineless types who'd drop cycling if my dearly-beloved made a stand over it. However, I'm also one of the lucky ones whose dearly-beloved had no issues with me cycling, motorcycling and having an amateurish go at conflict resolution in the Balkans in the early 90s - where the words conflict and resolution tended not to be used on the same document.

Happy cycling.

 

[Broughtonblue]

to talk my wife round if i wanted a new bike i would do the following.............buy her a new handbag and all will be ok!!

 

[JtB]

but how would you talk your other half round?

I've reached that age where riding a bike on the road is safer than just being a couch potato.

 

[biggs682]

ouch and thats before new bike arrives