summerdays
Cycling in the sun
- Location
- Bristol
Yes - we do it every year too!
No such thing as Santa Claus???!!!
- Thread starter Sandra6
- Start date
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summerdays
Cycling in the sun
- Location
- Bristol
You're his son........................... ah memories
Hover Fly
He, him, his
- Location
- Besides the lake, beneath the trees
My parents used to tell how, when I was just a few days old, my father leaned over my cot and said "There's no such thing as Father Christmas".
That has absolutely made my day.34!!! Bless ya. Loved it.
Now to bookmark it and remember to make one for the kids!
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
What does he going to think will happen when he has kids?
not to mention the physical impossibility of the whole thing...
Even brain damaged old me had started to question the logistics of it all as a kid and I knew it was a lie by the time I was about 12 when I finally stumped up the courage and asked my Mum the question to get confirmation. My Mum was, to be fair was somewhat amused at me, but I didn't blame her (I probably learned long after all the other kids in my class had found out, but I never mentioned it to any of them, so they never knew. As I say, I was sceptical, so I had my grave doubts anyway!).
Strangely, my big sister, who had (still has) a penchant for ruining things with one toxic comment, volleyed with laser like accuracy to hit you in the heart with expert and precision timing, to such a degree that you would happily murder her slowly and painfully on the spot, never, as far as I can remember, mentioned anything on the subject at the time at all.
That said, when we came down on Christmas Morning, our parents would always make us stand outside the living room (where everything was) whilst they went in to see if everything was there. I fell for it, but I remember years later my Sister talking about how when we were let in, my Dad was so obviously still munching on the carrot we'd left for Rudolph. With all the presents, I never noticed though!
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
Off topic, but this oldie-but-goodie still makes me geek-chuckle http://www.engineeringedu.com/Santa.html
What about the Birthday Spell? Santa slowing time right down etc so he can deliver to all. I think it was in one of the Brentford Trilogy Books, Robert Rankin. It can't only be me who has heard of the birthday spell. Raiders of the Lost Carpark is the one in my head.
Christmas is my busiest time, in my line of work. Most of my clients want their dogs to look amazing for Santa Paws. Probably a good thing that I am good at my job and the dogs do look amazing.
U
User482
Guest
I remember when I stopped believing: my grandad was trying to leave my presents at the foot of my bed, and fell over cos he was completely pissed - causing me to wake up.
asterix
Comrade Member
- Location
- Limoges or York
No such thing as Santa.This has just ruined my day.
Don't believe them, of course there is. Next they'll be trying to prove we all live on a ball hurtling through the air. Ridiculous.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
I mean come on: same paper, same handwriting, not to mention the physical impossibility of the whole thing...
In my defence, it took me a while to start questioning it because my parents never wrapped our presents 'from Santa' up (that would have been too much like hard work too my Dad!), no, they were just laid out attractively on one of the seats/couches (we all had our 'own' seat or couch). Only the presents 'from our parents', relatives, etc etc were wrapped and laid under the tree.
The physical impossibility on so many different levels started to dawn on me with time. I mean:
A. Flying Reindeer?? Oh come on, someone MUST have seen them fly past at one point or another.
B. Flying round the world in one night?? And not only that but delivering to everyone's houses, getting all those presents in perfect order??
Even the Blackbird couldn't do that, never mind a bunch of Reindeer!!
C. How the hell did he fit all those presents into that tiny sleigh?? He must have had depots scattered across the globe so that he could pick up what he needed.
D. Did he actually buy all these presents himself?? Why did you never see him down The Jolly Giant or wherever? And if he did, where did he get the money from?
E. And if he made all the presents himself, then how did the toy companies react?? He must have had millions of things on contract from all of these places, and if so, then he must have had one hell of a legal and admin department!!
F. That guy down the local toy shop dressed as Santa was clearly the verger from the Church, so yet again, he must have had quite some legal/admin department!!
G. Was there some sort of world conspiracy amongst parents? I mean, did they stay up late at night and write a big letter to Santa asking for what we kids wanted, and then posted it without us noticing??
And then, how did parents know what Santa would be bringing and what they had to buy themselves??
...... I mean, there were so many questions about how it all worked, was there actually some sort of secret society for Parents so that it could all be organised properly and work seemlessly without any child EVER noticing??
Man, there were SO many things that must have happened just to make it all work!!
betty swollocks
large member
just to help Santa
We'll be at my Mum's with my sister and her boys, who are 5 and 2, so still young enough to believe. We'll make sure we leave a plate of mince pies and stuff out downstairs.
Coincidentally, NT and I will probably be using the sofa bed in the living room. Thus, we can make sure they pies are suitably diminished in the morning.
I hope there will be none of that canoodling type of activity
We don't want to embarrass Santa
Trail Child
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Ottawa, Canada
I was the horrible child that announced to the entire kindergarten class that, after intense research & investigation, Santa Claus did not exist, shattering the dreams of all my classmates.
classic33
Leg End Member
View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaSRRQVmy7A
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to wes(which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are not talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.
This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times the speed of sound. The fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
3000 times the speed of sound?
Why are there no sonic booms then??
Why are there no sonic booms then??
