Oddest thing found/seen lying in the road?

[Goldfang]

Dont think this has been done before! what is the oddest/ most useful/valuable thing you have found laying in the road on your commute to work. This came to me upon seeing the second childs pottie in as many weeks in the middle of the road on my way to work. Why do you only see odd shoes never a pair? To date, some of my fids have been as follows-
A junior hacksaw, then a week later, a large hacksaw in the same spot?
A 'Snap-on' burglars type crowbar/ jemmy (brand new)
A five pound note!
Numerous spanners, particularly spark plug spanners
A large, new iron hook from a skip lorry that a chap gave me £5 for
A wrecked cheapo mountain bike

I am surely not alone in this!
Regards, Goldfang.

 

[huttster]

First one was a tiny horse,would call it a Shetland pony but i could'nt say if it was or not,it had got out of a field that the "do what you likies' had moved into and slipped over in the road,it must only have been stunned as by the time i had turned around it had got up and was grazing by the side of the road like they do round these parts,not seen one lying in the road before though!
Second one would be myself on the black ice,one second up,next lying in the road,and believe me,i look odd!

 

[buddha]

Yesterday, I was 'exploring' some new-to-me hilly bits over the Surrey North Downs I hadn't ridden before. And by mistake I decided to ride up Chalkpit Lane - ignoring the roadsign showing 20%. Anyway, a few minutes later, I was gasping my last, bent over the bars when my light caught a coppery glint ahead.
Obviously, I had to stop because I was knackered to see what it was. It was an old George VI halfpenny.

 

[Christopher]

oddest thing would be a subaru car. On its roof in the middle of the lane (have pic somewhere) after the driver have decided to show off his 'ability'. He and his chum were waiting for the wrecker truck (they were fine).

Most useful thing is a neoprene zip-up bootie for a small bottle - my front light fits it perfectly and the soft neoprene protects it from knocks and scratches.

 

[betty swollocks]

On separate occasions in two parts of the country: a piglet and a large cardboard carton full of chocolate bars.

 

[Spinney]

On separate occasions in two parts of the country: a piglet and a large cardboard carton full of chocolate bars.

One of those mats you can put on your dashboard to rest things on without them slipping off.

So now I've got two...

 

[classic33]

A foot. Ran over a shoe, traffic either side dictated the amount of room I had. Shoe felt harder than than it should have been. Stopped & went back to check it. The foot was still inside.
The rest of the person had been removed from the scene a few hours earlier. Found this bit out when I took the shoe to the police station to report "property found".

 

[Arch]

Why do you only see odd shoes never a pair?

Flanders and Swann, as ever, had the answer:
THE BEDSTEAD MEN
by
Flanders and Swann

Oh, when you're walking in the country,
Far from villages and towns,
When you're seven miles from nowhere and beyond,
In some dark deserted forest, or a hollow of the downs,
You may come across a lonely pool or pond.
And you'll always find a big, brass broken bedstead by the bank,
There's one in every loch or mere or fen.
Don't think it's there by accident,
It's us you have to thank,
The society of British bedstead men.

Oh, the hammer ponds of Sussex,
And the dewponds of the west,
Are part of Britain's heritage,
The part we love the best.
Every eel and fish and millpond
Has a beauty all can share,
But not unless it's got a big brass broken bedstead there.

So, we filch them out of attics,
We beg them from our friends,
We buy them up in auction lots with other odds and ends,
Then we drag them 'cross the meadows,
When the moon is in the sky,
So watch the wall my darling,
While the bedstead men go by.

The league of British bedstead men is marching though the night,
A desperate and dedicated crew,
Under cover of the hedges,
Always keeping out of sight,
For the precious load of bedsteads must get through.

The society for butting broken bedsteads into ponds
Has another solemn purpose to fulfil.
For our coastal sands and beaches,
All where waving willow wands,
Mark the borders of a river, stream or rill.

You will always find a single laceless, left-hand leather boot.
A bootless British river bank's a shock.
We leave them there at midnight, you can track a member's route,
By the alternating prints of boot and sock.

Oh, the lily ponds of Suffolk,
And the millponds of the west,
Are part of Britain's heritage,
The part we love the best.
Our riverbanks and seashores
Have a beauty all can share,
Provided there's a boot...
Provided there's a boot...
Provided there's at least one boot...
Three treadless tyres,
a half-eaten pork pie,
some oildrums,
an old felt hat,
a lorryload of tar blocks...
And a broken bedstead there.

 

[Zoiders]

Once an abandoned ladies BSO was left in the skip out side work, it had a set of old 90's era Deore LX wheels on it, still in good nick. On to the M-trax commuter they went.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

On my commute?

A bundle of 10m long plastic water pipes
-and, another time,
a tuba

 

[gbb]

A dead fish...miles from any river that i knew of . It certainly didnt swim there, then expire

 

[ColinJ]

[I think I told this story before on the old C+ forum, and I've lifted it from a similar thread on BikeRadar in 2008]

A few years ago, a very unfit me was on a cycling holiday on the Costa Blanca. I'd climbed to Guadalest and was slowly ascending the road from Guadalest to the village of Confrides when I came across a hardcore porn mag lying open in the middle of the road. (Hmm, there's a very unfortunate pun there... ) Er, I discovered said mag! I had more important things on my mind so I ignored it and continued my extended meditation on the inadvisability of overweight, unfit cyclists tackling long trips over Spanish mountains...

A few minutes later I heard voices behind me and turned to see a group of younger cyclists rapidly gaining on me. Soon they passed and I noticed that they were speaking German. One lad was riding no-hands (twice as fast as me ) holding that porn mag and pointing out various fascinating photographs to his mates. I don't speak much German but it was fairly obvious what they were saying - "Ho, ho, ho, ach ja, sie ist SEHR...!" They disappeared into the distance and I continued my lonely toil.

Eventually I spotted the Germans sitting at a table outside a cafe in Confrides, and still having an animated conversation about the porno mag which they were openly passing around amongst themselves.

On I went, eventually over the pass and down a nice fast descent. I turned left off that road and eventually passed through another village (whose name escapes me) and began a tough little climb to the Puerto de Tudons at 1,000 m. I was really grovelling by then.

Then once again, I heard the sound of voices. The Germans shot past me with a hearty "¡Hola!" and as they disappeared up the climb ahead of me I heard them singing German drinking songs. Oh, to be young and fit again...

 

[monnet]

I once saw a dead badger on the side of the road. Not that unusual, but my thought process certainly was. I don't know what I'd had in my coffee/ on my porridge that morning but as I approached said badger, his upturned black and white stripey head on full view I thought to myself:





'F***! A panda!'

 

[snorri]

I just cannot pass the magnetic L plates (for learner drivers) I see on the grass verges as I cycle along.
The magnetism is just not strong enough to hold them to the car bodywork at 60mph. It's not so long since I gave a few away, but today there are seven on my freezer door awaiting recycling.

 

[Gixxerman]

Not particularly odd and not seen whilst cycling, but funny nonetheless.
Saw a large brown paper bag that was in the gutter and fully inflated by the wind.
I was approaching it from the closed end.
It never ocurred to me at the time why the bag was not blowing away.

I suddenly got the urge to give it an almighy boot.
I took a run up and gave it my best defender clearance.
It transpired that the bag contained a house brick.
Result - 2 broken toes.