Office Fun

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Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
alecstilleyedye said:
ooh, arch, never knew you were a mac lady :wacko:

Sorry, I'm not really, it's just there's a job needs doing on this one, converting some quark files into pdfs, so that this old mac can be ditched and I'll only have the one computer on my desk...

By then (should be another couple of days work), I'll have just about got used to all the stupid little differences in scrolling and minimise buttons and suchlike... In time to forget them all!
 

spindrift

New Member
One point office dares...

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

7) Leave your zip open for one hour. If anyone
points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this
way".

8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

9) While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

10) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Three point office dares...

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot
him with double-barrelled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink
directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

6) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it
"IN."

7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

8) Don't use any punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Five point office dares...

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad
Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your
forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell
him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig etc) during a very important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from
the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent
each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
 

Speicher

Vice Admiral
Moderator
ChrisKH said:
I've just been given a list of forty things you'd love to say out loud at work, but daren't. So I'm trying to work these into future conversations with colleagues without getting fired. I have discharged no. 9 which is

"It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying."

I'm not looking forward to number 14:-

"I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth".

I said this to someone not so long ago, but unfortunately they did not understand what I said. Please try it on someone and let me know their reaction. ;) (yes, English was their first language)
 

byegad

Legendary Member
Location
NE England
When working in a call centre we played the word game.
Into every call you take you have to use a 'team word'. The word is chosen by a different person each day. It got stopped when someone (looks up and whistles,,,innocently) chose bumfluff and a couple of callers to our team called back to complain. Another team played a game where you mentioned the caller's name as many times as possible during the call.
 
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