Passing of loved ones....

[Reynard]

My sister's thinking of doing cash in the attic!!

The friend I go dog walking with knows a dealer in vintage / mid-century stuff who is interested, and so I'm likely to go down that route as and when. Far less embarrassing than appearing on TV.

 

[Accy cyclist]

My mother is a terrible hoarder and her hobby is going to car boot sales to buy more shoot she doesn't need. The house is packed, as is the attic.

If anything, my brother is even worse. He keeps everything. Even things like old TVs and washing machines that don't work and he probably has every car he ever owned. He just won't get rid of things or sell them.

I dread it if I ever end up dealing with it.

That makes my hoarding problem sound not that bad!🙄 Thank you for posting that, I feel much better now.😬

 

[Accy cyclist]

My mother died 8 years ago this coming August. To this day I cannot remember the actual date, unlike my dad's, even grandparents deaths which are etched in my memory. This is not because I didn't get on with my mum, as I did and do miss her very much, but as is the case with many folk who eventually die from dementia related illnesses, the relatives feel that they died years ago when the deceased started to deteriorate. 'The long goodbye' I've heard it called. My mother's death wasn't a relatively quick death like my dad's was, as she suffered for almost 6 years after her diagnosis. The day she died, my brother phoned to tell me. I found it to be a sad day, but not a totally depressing day like it was when my dad died. He was only 69, unlike my mum who was 82 when she died, so my thoughts might've been that she had a fair innings, unlike my dad did.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

When my parents died I made a deliberate attempt to not remember the dates

I don;t need that "anniversary" - the memories and there and I can remember the bits i want to when I want to

My GranDad was one for anniversaries and I never felt it was a good thing

Although in his case it was things like WW1 and the date he was injured and Remembrance day and the "special date" for his regiment

but he added more personal ones on to a lesser extent

never liked the idea so with somethings I try not to remember the dates


depends on the person very much

 

[Jameshow]

Dad's thanksgiving today.

Just need to get through my eulogy!

Mixture of "I can do this - I've been through worse and this is the last straw!"🤔

 

[Mo1959]

Dad's thanksgiving today.

Just need to get through my eulogy!

Mixture of "I can do this - I've been through worse and this is the last straw!"🤔

Well done for doing it. I wrote a nice eulogy for dad but asked the minister to read it out. I didn't feel up to it.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Everyone will be willing you on. It does not matter if you stumble or hesitate in your speech. It shows you’re human.

 

[Beebo]

Dad's thanksgiving today.

Just need to get through my eulogy!

Mixture of "I can do this - I've been through worse and this is the last straw!"🤔

Take your time. It’s your final act of service. Remember that a short 10 second pause will seem like an eternity to you, but it really isn’t and no one will care. They are all in your side.

 

[DCLane]

@Jameshow - remember it's a celebration of his life. Don't worry if you stumble a bit - it's almost expected. At least I did.

SWMBO on the other hand conducted her father's funeral service, including the internment, with apparent ease, although I know it wasn't easy for her. The minister she'd borrowed suggested SWMBO did the welcome and then kept prompting her to carry on.

We're all different and handle funerals differently. Just remember everyone is there to remember him

 

[nogoodnamesleft]

When my parents died I made a deliberate attempt to not remember the dates

I don;t need that "anniversary" - the memories and there and I can remember the bits i want to when I want to

Lost my parents several years ago. I have the dates in my computer calendar (for some reason) and on the day they pop-up a "reminder". That reminder does make me feel a bit down but the far far worst times are random, often kicked-off by something minor that just reminds me of some aspect of our lives and those I do find very hard, maybe as there are specific memories/events rather than a neutral reminder.

 

[Dave7]

My dad died of a brain tumour. Mum died of altzimers/ dementia (i never know the difference.
My SiLs brother died young and the family asked me to take the service, which I did.
My good wife** died 3 years ago and the SiL took the service. He did a fine job of it.
I am 79 and apart from the damage from the b*stard Long Covid I am good. Decent memory etc.
My Bro is 2 years older and quite remarkable. He still works on his allotment.
**I miss her every day. It hurts a lot but I try to get on with life.

 

[Shearwater Missile]

Well done for doing it. I wrote a nice eulogy for dad but asked the minister to read it out. I didn't feel up to it.

Same here and my Nephew did too. The same person but from different perspective`s.

 

[katiewlx]

I wrote the eulogy for my Dads, but there was no chance I could read it out, public speaking has never been my forte, but I could barely function that day of the funeral.

and Im not sure that I ever would forget the date, things like that tend to get burned into your soul even if most of the day itself is now blurry, but he passed on one of our relations birthday, so theres a constant reminder every year for them, and us about it.

 

[gbb]

Eulogies are strange things, I did my wife's almost flawlessly (the delivery) apart from one moment, sometging deep that, to use a term above, is burned in my mind forever, but it just flowed (im tearing up now)..
But I found it far easier ..perhaps it was 'familiarity', I had done mums and dads..and im certainly not lover of public speaking.
If youre lucky, a calm can descend over the whole day...it did for me, it all just flowed, partly thanks to the celebrant we used, she coached and directed everything that was needed of the day.
Good luck...

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

I did the ones for my Mum and Dad

I managed it - but the last line was one that was very special
and when I got to it, I just couldn;t say it
No-one noticed as no-one knew the text

I went back to my seat and told my now-ex

when my dad died a few months later I had to do another
I have no clue how it went

and my now-ex didn;t bother to even come - and refused to let our daughter come either


The day went OK I think - I really am not sure - but it went anyway