Starchivore
I don't know much about Cinco de Mayo
I left a small can on WD40 (half full) next to my bike, which was locked up to a stand at the station. Came back and it was gone (the can, not the bike). Who would bother?
People really will steal anything.........
- Thread starter speccy1
- Start date
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doughnut
Veteran
A few years ago I helped my sister transport her new sofa and chairs to her house. When we got there I asked her if she needed a hand getting rid of the old ones. She said no worries, but got me to help her put them on the pavement outside her house, then we went inside and she closed the curtains and we had a cup of tea. When we were done drinking we opened the curtains and the old stuff was gone. "Job done" she said.
hopless500
Trundling along
At work a couple of years back the air freshener in the toilet kept disappearing. They must have taken 6 in the space of 3 weeks. Who needs to nick air freshener 
Leaway2
Lycrist
They are a bit thin on soles now. Please can you leave a new pair.My feckin work shoes from the changing rooms at work.
I had to spend an hour walking around in my suit and cycling shoes
Profpointy
Legendary Member
There was a good story a mate of mine had, back in the good old days of perq's in British engineering companies. He'd spotted this large pulley wheel he'd decided to help himself to for some project or other. Got it into his locker awaiting an opportunity to sneak it out the gates. Unfortunately it fell out of his locker onto his foot, breaking it. He then had to hobble around for the the rest of the morning until his workmates to fake a suitable accident before he could get first aid for his broken foot.
swee'pea99
Squire
Again, with all due apologies for my 'that reminds me of' stories...another favourite from Spike Milligan's war reminiscences was when he and a bunch of mates waited till their brutal, bullying sergeant was drunk & insensible one night, loaded him & his bed onto the back of a flat-bed truck, drove it into the countryside, left it in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere, and drove back to barracks.
Cubist
Still wavin'
We used to take it in turns to buy milk for the tea fund in the custody area. The unwritten rule was that you helped yourself but if it ran out when your team was on you sent someone out to get some more. The Sergeant on the team that we took over from had to be different. He decided he would buy his own as this arrangement was too informal.
One day I came on to find a note from him accusing our team of nicking his milk. A quick discussion with my team and I was happy none of ours had done it. We carried on as normal.
I went to the fridge later to make a brew and saw that he had used a sharpie to mark the level of his pint of semi skimmed, and sealed the cap on with an address label which he'd signed, and covered with sellotape so it was tamper proof.
Never one to miss out on a challenge I spent a happy few minutes raiding the drink driving kit in the Doctors surgery, and used one of the blood sample syringes to syphon out half of his remaining milk by puncturing the bottle under the corner of the supplier's label to hide the tiny puncture mark. . I squirted the milk I'd removed into a sterile urine sample container and labelled it "Sergeant XXXXX. Just in case you thought we were taking the pi$$, love from team 4"
A quick rerun of the CCTV tapes the next night showed him going a very strange shade of purple, then puzzlement, turning to anger when he found the sample bottle and read the label.
One day I came on to find a note from him accusing our team of nicking his milk. A quick discussion with my team and I was happy none of ours had done it. We carried on as normal.
I went to the fridge later to make a brew and saw that he had used a sharpie to mark the level of his pint of semi skimmed, and sealed the cap on with an address label which he'd signed, and covered with sellotape so it was tamper proof.
Never one to miss out on a challenge I spent a happy few minutes raiding the drink driving kit in the Doctors surgery, and used one of the blood sample syringes to syphon out half of his remaining milk by puncturing the bottle under the corner of the supplier's label to hide the tiny puncture mark. . I squirted the milk I'd removed into a sterile urine sample container and labelled it "Sergeant XXXXX. Just in case you thought we were taking the pi$$, love from team 4"
A quick rerun of the CCTV tapes the next night showed him going a very strange shade of purple, then puzzlement, turning to anger when he found the sample bottle and read the label.
summerdays
Cycling in the sun
Doesn't that mean that he could also review the tapes to find out who the villain was?
Cubist
Still wavin'
Indeed, but his bullish pride got the better of him. According to his team he suspected me all along, but as I had used the syringe in the surgery where there is no CCTV, he was utterly at a loss to figure out how I'd done it.
LCpl Boiled Egg
Three word soundbite
I'm guessing he never made it past Sergeant then?
swee'pea99
Squire
Such men were born to be sergeants.
summerdays
Cycling in the sun
I've had swimming costumes too, and they were picky which ones they took and left!
