poolside fashion tips

[ayceejay]

We are heading south for a couple of weeks this winter, probably Cuba, and I need some advice regarding swimwear. This may be for the beach or the pool.
So to cut to the chase I have what my daughter kindly calls 'middle aged spread', her daughter is way more blunt so I won't tell you what that little b she calls it. I have some Speedos that I bought in 1985 that clearly won't do, below or above the belly button. I find that bib shorts solve the 'above or below' question but have they made anythng like this for bathing since the Old Queen died?
What do I buy?
Feel free to take the piss but some useful tips with pictures would serve my vanity well.
TIA

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

A hessian sack??

Sorry.

 

[simon.r]

Sounds like an ideal opportunity to embarrass your daughter:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/like/2709...ff11=ICEP3.0.0&ff12=67&ff13=80&ff14=83&ff19=0

 

[T.M.H.N.E.T]

In reality it won't matter what you wear providing the meat and veg aren't on show.

Your speedos are older than me, might be worth replacing them with a slightly more modern pair. Just don't go for 5cm race fit 8cm+ if not shorts

 

[hopless500]

 

[hopless500]

or possibly

 

[Archie_tect]

Swim shorts from M+S... not racey, not trendy, just for swimming really.

 

[slowmotion]

If you wear Speedos, people are always going to compare you to Daniel Craig. Get some baggie board short no-names from M&S as Archie-tect suggested.
BTW, did you know that you have to wear Speedos in public pools in France? Baggies are believed to be "unhygenic". What do they get up to in them?

 

[T.M.H.N.E.T]

If you wear Speedos, people are always going to compare you to Daniel Craig. Get some baggie board short no-names from M&S as Archie-tect suggested.
BTW, did you know that you have to wear Speedos in public pools in France? Baggies are believed to be "unhygenic". What do they get up to in them?

Yes the staff at my local pool are somewhat disheartened when my BMW doesn't drive itself into the changing room

What nonsense :S

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

If you are allowed, wear a T-shirt too

 

[dellzeqq]

http://vimeo.com/47041550

'whatever's comfortable'

 

[slowmotion]

Yes the staff at my local pool are somewhat disheartened when my BMW doesn't drive itself into the changing room

What nonsense :S

Your pool has valet parking???????????

 

[ColinJ]

http://vimeo.com/47041550

'whatever's comfortable'

"In this commercial, a slightly overweight man in a speedo man walks confidently down the beach, picking up a glass of Southern Comfort on the way there."

 

[swee'pea99]

If you've got it, flaunt it...

 

[ColinJ]

If you've got it, flaunt it...
View attachment 30293

I wore trousers that tight on my fat legs and they caused the damn DVT which almost killed me!