Reporting to NSPCC

[Fnaar]

I would guess that they're asking for as much info as you have, but are also seeking to structure that info in some way, so as to fit in with what they have to record for paperwork etc. Seems OK to me, and as Vernon says, following it up could make a big difference to the kids. Also, as Mr P says, if they (almost inevitably) ask you for feedback, tell them that you think their communication style could put some people off; a brief explanation of why they ask what they ask of you, and a reassurance that you are simply passing on a concern and not getting more involved than you want to be, would be in order.

 

[asterix]

I

I agree with the OP - this is a ridiculous and intimidating burden to place on a person who's doing all that they ought to be asked to do: voice their concern for a fellow human being.

It does look like a lot of information, but it's a very serious matter making a complaint of this sort against one's neighbours, with all sorts of potential repercussions. The NSPCC say the situation needs investigation and that they are considering a referral to Children's Services.

If the NSPCC and/or Children Services are going to take action on the heads up from a neighbour they need to know as much as possible about the situation - they ain't going to go knocking on the door purely on a hunch.

Balancing that, all credit to the OP in taking action on the matter, particularly at a stressful time. Perhaps with less stress the request might have seemed more reasonable.

 

[hotfuzzrj]

I think you're just being asked to furnish as much detail as possible to make a fuller picture, and to help them to determine the severity of abuse (if any) and the urgency with which they need to act. For example, I have dealt with calls where "my next door neighbour is screaming at their children again", got there and the 'child' is 15-16 yrs or older, and therefore the necessary action is different from a mother screaming at a 3-4 yr old.

The other information, whilst it might seem irrelevant, will just help them build a whole picture of the situation. When you ask someone for as much detail as possible they might only come up with 3-4 pieces of information, but with a list of possible questions they are likely to get more information, even if some of it is vague, because you're often able to recall things you weren't conscious of knowing.

Although you may not know your mum's neighbours' GP (as expected!) I imagine many neighbours might have gleaned this over time, perhaps having bumped into each other at a local practise or if they also have children, may be aware from school, or babysitting.

Perhaps your mum will be able to answer some of these questions, but don't worry if not. They'd rather have vague details which might lead to an investigation than no reporting and possible undiscovered abuse.

 

[ColinJ]

Perhaps your mum will be able to answer some of these questions ...

Gromit posted that her mum has just died so, unfortunately, she won't be able to.

 

[hotfuzzrj]

Extremely sorry, I missed that. No offence intended.

My deepest sympathies to Gromit.

 

[Cubist]

The information requested is standard referral stuff. A primary school teacher would know most of the answers for example. They don't expect you to know it all gromit, but no harm in asking. Well done for following it up

 

[bikepete]

Gromit asked me to post an update. In the end she called Social Services directly and the upshot is that they said they were already aware of the family in question and intend to take action, but they obviously couldn't disclose any details.

 

[Gromit]

On Thursday after my mum's funeral, I asked one of my mum's closest friends, who works as a health visitor what to do. I contacted social services to inform them and my mum's friend will follow up on the matter.

I would have done it sooner, however my major concern at the time was with making sure my mum's final days were as peaceful as they could possibly be, with no incidents.

The neighbours had only been in the house a few months themselves, and I live in York, so I was not likely to know anything about them or their children. All I knew was that for the two months I stayed at my mum's house, their parents would start to shout at them from 7:30 in the morning until they went to bed at night, every single day. The language they used toward their children and the way they chastised them for doing the least thing wrong was appalling. You never hear a peep out of the children always the adults.

Now I am back in York and the keys hopefully handed back to the council today I will never know what happens to the children. My only hope is that something will be done for them and that they get a much better life, hopefully with people who will treat them right.

 

[betty swollocks]

Well done Gromit and all at a very hard time for you.
My sincere condolences at the loss of your mum.

 

[Rohloff_Brompton_Rider]

Well done Gromit and all at a very hard time for you.
My sincere condolences at the loss of your mum.

+1, well done and take solace in the fact that you may have made their lives better.

 

[jonny jeez]

I can see why they would ask for as much as info as possible, if only to deter people from making idle or timewasting malicious reports.

I suspect you've hit the nail on the head there Arch.

 

[Rohloff_Brompton_Rider]

I suspect you've hit the nail on the head there Arch.

Gromit, if your concerns are genuine then you really must do as much as you can to help. As such, Arches theory is proving itself to be true, if you cannot justify the time to fill out the form then perhaps the situation is not all that bad after all?

is it?

i think you need to read all the posts in this thread.

 

[jonny jeez]

i think you need to read all the posts in this thread.

Indeed...edited

 

[MarkF]

My neighbour called round a month or so ago to ask if I'd reported him the social services, I hadn't, but I wasn't surprised that somebody had, he shouts and bawls all day long. However, the kids are not physically abused (AFAIK) and all appear, clean, well dressed, happy and well adjusted, I know them well, they must spend 50% of their playing out time in my house or garden.

You need to tread very carefully and be totally sure there is something amiss not just something you don't like, not everybody is a perfect parent, these kids appear fine apart from the fact they have a very shouty, short tempered dad, I don't like it (I don't like him) and cringe when I hear him but, well, he doesn't appear to an all bad father. Also, he now knows the name of the neighbour that did report him, how I don't know, but neighbourly relations are now at an all time low as people take sides.

 

[Gromit]

My neighbour called round a month or so ago to ask if I'd reported him the social services, I hadn't, but I wasn't surprised that somebody had, he shouts and bawls all day long. However, the kids are not physically abused (AFAIK) and all appear, clean, well dressed, happy and well adjusted, I know them well, they must spend 50% of their playing out time in my house or garden.

You need to tread very carefully and be totally sure there is something amiss not just something you don't like, not everybody is a perfect parent, these kids appear fine apart from the fact they have a very shouty, short tempered dad, I don't like it (I don't like him) and cringe when I hear him but, well, he doesn't appear to an all bad father. Also, he now knows the name of the neighbour that did report him, how I don't know, but neighbourly relations are now at an all time low as people take sides.

This is both parents every single day from morning till night. For example, why is that f**king thing on the f**king floor when I told you to f**king move it. You better eat your f**king p***ing tea or I will ram it down your throat. There is not one minuet apart from when their grandma comes round that the kids are not being mentally abused.

Why would I make it up, I was brought up with an abusive father, I know what its like to live in fear everyday of putting one foot wrong. Back in the 70's-80's nothing was ever done. Usually with the shouting and the mental abuse comes the beating with belts, slippers or anything else they can lay their hands on.

That kind of behaviour is not normal, my sister has four children, that sort of stuff does not happen in her house. If you can't handle your four kids doing the odd thing wrong, then you should not have had children at all. The two youngest ones are very close in age, nothing stopping them using contraception.