Ride of a lifetime

[creed1975]

Hello all!

I am new to the forum. And a newbie in cycling. This is not a joke. And I am seeking some advice. I have recently lost my father and then my wife left me six months later. We went through a tough time when my father died and I made plenty of mistakes. I was the admin of his estate and crumbled under the pressure. My wife left me and we are in the midst of divorce. I have fought to save my family for 15 months with several mistakes along the way. We have a 3 year old son and I have been lost, broken and torn apart without them. Many tears and sleepless nights.

I realize that some people would say "move on." However God has convicted my heart to stand for her and fight for my family.

I am strongly considering starting a blog and social media tour to ride across America to find myself and show my wife what she means to me. "Ride of a Lifetime: One Man's Journey to Save His Family."

I am social media savvy and would use Periscope, Twitter and GoPro to chronicle my journey. I believe there is nothing greater worth saving than family especially in today's times.

Please let me know your thoughts. I am willing to risk it all for my wife and son. I would have to quit my job and use the resources from my dads estate. I feel there is no greater journey I can take to find myself, center with God and prove to my wife that there is nothing more important than her and my son.

 

[Jayaly]

I think you will find that you will stand more chance of saving them with your presence. Why don't you spend a bit of that inheritance on a child seat or trailer on the back of your bike and take your three year old out for a ride, or lots of them?

 

[fossyant]

You are better off getting them back pronto rather than a jolly across the states. How is that going to prove anything. Sounds like another mistake in the making.

 

[Globalti]

Solo riding is a self-absorbing activity and you will meet some interesting and eccentric folk but the rest of your family and friends will just think you are running away from your responsibilities as a father to a child who desperately needs you. Boys especially need adult role models, not absentee Dads.

When I was a child my parents battled constantly and the thought that they might separate terrified me. Don't underestimate the mental trauma that your son has suffered as a result of your inability to hold it together; he would certainly prefer to see you regularly, see you leading a stable life and spend time with you than see you disappear off into the sunset.

 

[ianrauk]

Your 3 yo needs you with him.....forget about the jolly.

 

[Big Dave laaa]

In my experience, whenever god is involved things never end well. Face up to your responsibilities and give your son the love and attention he deserves.

 

[bikingdad90]

Hello all!

I realize that some people would say "move on." However God has convicted my heart to stand for her and fight for my family.

I am strongly considering starting a blog and social media tour to ride across America to find myself and show my wife what she means to me. "Ride of a Lifetime: One Man's Journey to Save His Family."

I am willing to risk it all for my wife and son. I would have to quit my job and use the resources from my dads estate. I feel there is no greater journey I can take to find myself, center with God and prove to my wife that there is nothing more important than her and my son.

I echo what others have already said, You wife is leaving you and your are fighting to save your family by leaving them and going to America to ride a bike? You are contradicting yourself and running away from the problem not solving it.

I understand you want to find yourself in America but surely it makes more sense to hand over the administration of the estate to someone else, like a legal team for a few hundred pounds a year and concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with your wife. Even if you do not rekindle the romance you can build a friendship to ensure that when your son comes to stay with you the transition from Mams house to Dads house and back is amicable and pleasant.

It gives your child a chance to grow up with a male influence, someone he can eventually go to the pub with to have a pint, so why burn a bridge? Having a friendship will also help to prevent 'revenge' actions after all in twenty years time you and your wife will have to potentially go to his wedding, sit together and spend an evening with one another (and potential new partners) this is why friendship is key!

 

[Smokin Joe]

I am strongly considering starting a blog and social media tour to ride across America to find myself and show my wife what she means to me. "Ride of a Lifetime: One Man's Journey to Save His Family."

I strongly suspect this thread is a load of bollocks, but if it is true the only outcome of what you intend to do will be to embarrass the hell out of your wife and make her think you're a complete tit.

 

[jonny jeez]

Hello all!

I am new to the forum. And a newbie in cycling. This is not a joke. And I am seeking some advice. I have recently lost my father and then my wife left me six months later. We went through a tough time when my father died and I made plenty of mistakes. I was the admin of his estate and crumbled under the pressure. My wife left me and we are in the midst of divorce. I have fought to save my family for 15 months with several mistakes along the way. We have a 3 year old son and I have been lost, broken and torn apart without them. Many tears and sleepless nights.

I realize that some people would say "move on." However God has convicted my heart to stand for her and fight for my family.

I am strongly considering starting a blog and social media tour to ride across America to find myself and show my wife what she means to me. "Ride of a Lifetime: One Man's Journey to Save His Family."

I am social media savvy and would use Periscope, Twitter and GoPro to chronicle my journey. I believe there is nothing greater worth saving than family especially in today's times.

Please let me know your thoughts. I am willing to risk it all for my wife and son. I would have to quit my job and use the resources from my dads estate. I feel there is no greater journey I can take to find myself, center with God and prove to my wife that there is nothing more important than her and my son.

Hi.

I'm not completely clear on the status of your marriage, you say you ARE divorced, in which case your wife most likely needs to move on, even if you are not yet ready or prepared to.

Regardless, your son needs you in his life so I suspect you need to be very honest with yourself about this.

Publishing your thoughts and potentially some very private issues in a blog on the internet , would infuriate me if i were in your ex wife's shoes.

Then, disappearing for a good long time, would make me start to forget you if I were in your sons shoes.

Perhaps be honest and ask yourself what you are really looking to achieve. If you need to get away for your own sake, then do it but be careful not to dress it up as something that it isn't.

Finding yourself, will then most likely start much sooner.

I wish you every success and happiness and hope that, through being honest with yourself you can move towards your goal.

 

[xxDarkRiderxx]

As others have said focus on your child and what went wrong in the marriage and try and put it right. Don't run away and face the issues. Wishing you well.

 

[Globalti]

....and this God chap, whether he has convicted you or convinced you, hasn't given you very good advice up to now. You really ought to think about your child, who is now your number one priority. Go back to work, put your Dad's money in a trust fund for the future benefit of his grandson, which is what he would have wanted. Taking the responsible, adult option would prove to your wife that there is nothing more important to you than her and your son.

 

[jefmcg]

Echoing all that is said above. And then some.

What you should do now is build a life with your son. You should be able to get joint custody or access to him. So create an environment that he will enjoy and grow in, and concentrate on being his father. Your wife will see the slow changes in you, and if it is something she wants, she can take you back. It probably is not what she wants, but even then, you are parents to your son, and you can be proud of raising a fine man, and having a good relationship with your ex.

If you aren't able to get access or joint custody, then engage a lawyer to help you know what changes to make. Make those changes to your life, then re-apply to see your son. This will be both harder and less satisfying than cycling across America, but if you love your boy, you should do it.

Cycling is a good activity for you. Set out from your home on a Saturday morning and ride 50 miles. It will clear your head and settle you down. Then go home and get on with your life.

 

[steveindenmark]

I would have thought it obvious that cycling off into the sunset would do nothing in getting your family back together. The problem would still be there when you returned.

Only you really know if your wife wants you back. If she doesnt, you need to make the best arrangements you can for your child and let both yourself and your wife move on with your lives.

Parents can have excellent relationships with children even when divorced. I have experience of this.

 

[jefmcg]

Only you really know if your wife wants you back.

All very wise, except this. Only his wife knows this. He is very like to be wrong if he thinks he knows that his wife still wants him.

 

[Milkfloat]

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/07/30/fat-guy-cycle-cross-country-ride/30876387/

Make your own mind up.