Ridiculous cycling products

[Moodyman]

My usual answer, gear indicaters.

View attachment 527484

Gear indicators like the one shown are useful. They let you know if you have a reserve gear when puffing up a hill, or allow you to understand if you're operating a straight chain combo between front and rear cogs.

Though, I've seen some that are numbered, and these definitely fall into the 'not required' bucket.

 

[JPBoothy]

Helmet cameras.

Only when used by vigilantes out to cause trouble.

 

[Venod]

Gear indicators like the one shown are useful. They let you know if you have a reserve gear when puffing up a hill, or allow you to understand if you're operating a straight chain combo between front and rear cogs.

Though, I've seen some that are numbered, and these definitely fall into the 'not required' bucket.

I can't see me adopting them anytime soon, I have never thought in 50+ years, I could do with a gear indicator.

I do have some Shimano indicators, that I removed from I think SX shifters, free to anybody who has use for them.

 

[CanucksTraveller]

Gear indicators are so counter productive. My daughter is completely obsessive over what number gear she's in, to the point that she can have a wobble while looking down to see... I've tried and tried to guide her to change gear by feel but she's forever fixated by the number and wonders how I have ever managed without an indicator. 🤷‍♂️
There's no telling kids sometimes.

 

[Profpointy]

I'll kick off with this gem, which blows air into you face as you're riding along. Presumably for cyclists who can't exceed walking pace.

View attachment 527424

https://pranela.com/products/portable-neck-fan™

I assumed it was a prank website to start with but no. The bizarre thing is that it's not wholly stupid to keep you slighly cooler in a hot office say, but by prefixing with the word "biking" turns a semi-plausible item into something utterly absurd

 

[Profpointy]

But you’d have to be a Tool to use a tool without reading the instruction first, wouldn’t you?

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who only read the instructions as a last resort, and there's those who don't

 

[Profpointy]

Ebikes

I dunno, this looks quite fun

View: https://youtu.be/vlxZs2-gICc

 

[tommaguzzi]

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who only read the instructions as a last resort, and there's those who don't

As the old saying goes
"When all else has failed read the instructions"

 

[andrew_s]

Derailleurs are normally unaffected by small side impacts. This device ensures that you cannot access the small sprockets after such an incident because it has bent into the parallelogram. So one takes it off and throws it away. Easier not to fit it in the first place.

View attachment 527433

Those aren't fitted to protect the derailleur; they are to protect the hanger the derailleur is attached to.
Quite minor knocks can put enough of a bend in a hanger to spoil your shifting in a quite hard to track down manner.

 

[ColinJ]

I dunno, this looks quite fun

Sounds horrid though!

View: https://youtu.be/vlxZs2-gICc

Do NOT look up at the helicopter... Do NOT look up at the helicopter... Do NOT look up at the helicopter...

 

[Tail End Charlie]

Derailleurs are normally unaffected by small side impacts. This device ensures that you cannot access the small sprockets after such an incident because it has bent into the parallelogram. So one takes it off and throws it away. Easier not to fit it in the first place.

View attachment 527433

On a teenager's bike, who insists on lying his bike down on its side all the time, they're a God send.

 

[mustang1]

I'll kick off with this gem, which blows air into you face as you're riding along. Presumably for cyclists who can't exceed walking pace.

View attachment 527424

https://pranela.com/products/portable-neck-fan™

That's ace! It would be hilarious if the marketing slogan was "Requires no batteries. The faster you ride, the more air the fans blow on you."

 

[mustang1]

Aftermarket parachute braking systems.

When I wear my cycling jacket, I look like a permanent parachute.

 

[roley poley]

On a teenager's bike, who insists on lying his bike down on its side all the time, they're a God send.

many riders pics I see on cyclechat with the bike laid down on the vulnerable right side

 

[figbat]

This...

Gear indicators like the one shown are useful. They let you know if you have a reserve gear when puffing up a hill, or allow you to understand if you're operating a straight chain combo between front and rear cogs.

Though, I've seen some that are numbered, and these definitely fall into the 'not required' bucket.

...AND this...

Gear indicators are so counter productive. My daughter is completely obsessive over what number gear she's in, to the point that she can have a wobble while looking down to see... I've tried and tried to guide her to change gear by feel but she's forever fixated by the number and wonders how I have ever managed without an indicator. 🤷‍♂️
There's no telling kids sometimes.

I have one MTB with indicators and one without. The one without is the newer one with much fancier components, but I do miss the ability to know how much "bail out" I have left on a steep climb. There's not much more soul-destroying than pushing for a lower gear and getting the solid feel that tells you you're out of gears.

But the kid thing is also true - mine obsess over being "in gear x". I am slowly getting the concept of gearing, speed and effort across to them and replacing their grip-shifts with trigger shifts has helped with their more intuitive use of the gears.