BB, I know where you're coming from and would suggest a look at my Flikr account:-
http://www.flickr.com/photos/37729119@N08/
I've found that a bit of waggling will get any clamp style controls round the bends in butterfly or north road style bars. There's quite a variety of bendy/moustache bars to choose from, just need to take care that they have the correct diameter for your controls. Though a step drill should be able to take you from MTD diameter to road diameter. You'll see pictures of my Giant with the latest incarnation of the butterflies and the previous effort, that led to this, with north road style. Both versions have bar ends located inboard and, the latest butterfly option, means controls are accessible from 3 positions.
My testing of the latest setup is giving me very positive feedback. The inboard bar ends are 44cm apart and would equate to the hoods position on drop bars. But, rather than having your flats inside of this, as on drops, I have them outside. Plus there is then the corner and side position, reach for sides is kept similar to flats due to extra width. It has crossed my mind that I could actually cut off the open flat part of the butterflies now as I don't really use them anymore. I can brake and change gear from bar ends, flat and corner and I can brake only from the sides.
I did consider that I could have achieved similar with a wide flat bar, inboard bar end facing forwards, controls, grips and then outboard bar end facing backwards. but it all comes out a little too straight, the bendy bits in moustache/butterfly/northroad make for more pleasant hand positions and easier multiple access to controls. I've also discovered that I find it much easier to move a hand forward to find a control than to bring it back. My first attempt with the northroads was only a partial success due to the amount they sweep back and the ones I used are quite narrow(53cm at widest). The main side position was very comfy but reduced reach significantly. The flattish option was too narrow and, when sides were comfy, the bar ends bit was too stretched out and narrow with no access to controls. Good for a straight road into a headwind but that was it.
Due to clamp space this only worked when I switched to dual controls rather than seperate brake and shifter clamps, as the bar ends takes up clamp space as well. When I'm happy with setup I also have a set of Deore MTB STI's which could make shifting possible from 4 hand positions. By positioning the controls around front bend of the butterflies the cables naturally exit towards front wheel, like the gear cables from a Shimano STI. Like you I'd tried mounting the controls on bar ends and it just didn't work, aesthetically or practically.
This article from Sheldons site was the source of inspiration for all this
:-
http://www.sheldonbrown.com/deakins/handlebars.html