Rude!!!

[stephec]

Whatever you do, do not go work in catering or anything related to food or drink!

I worked in a pub when I was at college, I had a great time.

When the landlady asked me if I wanted to go on the brewery management course I politely declined though.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

When I used to play football one of the opposition was giving me grief about being overweight.

My reply. The reason I am so fat is because every time I sh@g your girlfriend she gives me a biscuit. After his team mates had a laugh at him he kept very quiet for the rest of the match.

you did that? really? or did you hear it elsewhere?

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

[QUOTE 3650319, member: 76"]Years ago I was in a pub and a bloke was giving my mate grief all night long, mostly for being black. We rose above it for several hours and even dished out some very good replies which got everyone laughing but seemed to egg him on even more, just getting ruder and nastier. We decided on one more pint at which point he upped it quite a bit and introduced the c word several times in a sentence.

With no smart arse replies left my mate headbutted him and smashed his nose. Strangely he didn't say anything else at all to us! In fact he didn't really say much to anyone.[/QUOTE]
Probably not always wise in retail though.

 

[vernon]

you did that? really? or did you hear it elsewhere?

It's a famous sledging incident from cricket.

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2008/jan/09/cricket.comment1

And again with some more examples.

https://javajones.wordpress.com/2008/10/29/cricket-sledging-classics/

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

It's a famous sledging incident from cricket.

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2008/jan/09/cricket.comment1

And again with some more examples.

https://javajones.wordpress.com/2008/10/29/cricket-sledging-classics/

And the first time I heard it, it was Miandad's riposte.

 

[snorri]

If someone is that badly rude to me I find a good resounding "go f*** yourself" usually cheers me up.

That's pathetic, I would have expected a lot worse from you.

 

[CopperCyclist]

I was once so utterly proud of a retort I gave, especially as I messed it up to begin with.

Riding home after a 3am finish, I passed a group of three obviously drunken males. I gave them a wider berth, and one saw me and shouted "Your bikes shitt" before finding his own quip hilarious.

"So's your dick" I shouted back. I'm not sure why. I think my brain got a bit lost with the classic "So's your mum" whilst simultaneously thinking "Dick".

Luckily, and I'm still not sure where the brilliant follow up came from, I then added "but at least my bike gets ridden".

His mates found my quip funnier judging by the laughter.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

That's pathetic, I would have expected a lot worse from you.

Where @Drago lives

 

[stephec]

Where @Drago lives
View attachment 86002

Der plane boss, der plane!

When Sunday afternoon telly was good.

 

[Cubist]

I have two favorite moments. First, when I was a custody officer and had to book in a student who was a bit clever.. He knew his rights, he was going to have my job, we were all tossers etc etc etc. aware that the CCTV was running we let him have his moment and as he was being taken to his room for the night he told me that he was wealthy enough to buy and sell people like me. I called him back to the desk. "One last thing...you do know your hairdresser is taking the pizz don't you?"

 

[Cubist]

The second one was more recent. Cubester and I were in the car in a queue of traffic, and a woman who came up alongside us on the inside wound down the window and started screaming obscenities at me about how I'd sworn at her. It was all a bit bizarre really, as I'd done nothing more than catch her eye in my near side door mirror . Realizing she was simply barking I waited until sh had had finished unleashing a stream of obscenities that would make a trooper blush and simply said "get your nightie on love, I'll be home in a bit. " the look on her face was absolutely priceless. Cub ester still quotes it to his mates to this day.

 

[buggi]

I once had a driver exclaim he'd given me plenty of room. I said "yea? Well go ask your wife , I'm sure she'll tell you 3 inches is not enough.

That was my best one I think. An old mate of mine was much more quick witted than me. A couple of hers...

She once bumped her head on a low beam in a pub. A guy said "how's your 'ead luv?". Quick as a flash she said "well,I haven't had any complaints so far".

Another time we were dressed as fire fighters raising money for charity and some guys at a bus stop started chanting...
Get your kit off...
Get your kit off...
Get your kit off for the lads...

She finished the song for them with ...

Bet your helmet's not as big as mine

Boom tish!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

[QUOTE 3650425, member: 9609"]I think this was probably more nasty than rude, but something that happened when I was very young (8 ish) and I have never forgot it - My mother had very natural thick black curly hair and this other woman (who was a complete stranger to us) had asked my mother a few times, politely at first, if it was a wig, to which my mother had replied 'No, it's natural hair' a little while later this woman come back and said "it is a wig" grabbed my mother by the hair and started to pull it.[/QUOTE]

Yeh, that is just nasty!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

This thread brings up so many bad memories, as, I have annoying habit (to me) of being calm when something happens. It is only later that I go 'OH!! I should have said *insert comment here*', by which time it is usually too late.

I am aware of it and have been trying to change it, but still, I annoy myself!!

 

[Freds Dad]

you did that? really? or did you hear it elsewhere?

Yes, I know/knew So basically we have yet another nobber member/claiming as "own"/daffodil/cúnt

I never claimed it as original but I will accept your apology.