Bromptonaut
Rohan Man
- Location
- Bugbrooke UK
John the Monkey said:
Happy to be a space cadet!!!
Rules for Public Transport
- Thread starter Arch
- Start date
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Happy to be a space cadet!!!
John the Monkey
Frivolous Cyclist
- Location
- Crewe
Bromptonaut said:
I shall be a Bromponeer, I think - my cyclescheme voucher's been approved, so it shouldn't be too long before my n becomes 3...
i'll nominate a couple of rules:
"OI! Waterloo station! yes you! if you MUST have those silly ticket operated swing doors, when someone with a bike tries to go through them, DON'T have them SHUT when they're halfway through, getting them completely stuck!"
and
"OI! Kings cross station! Get your act together - why have you not got ANY benches or seats on the platforms for passengers to sit on?!"
"OI! Waterloo station! yes you! if you MUST have those silly ticket operated swing doors, when someone with a bike tries to go through them, DON'T have them SHUT when they're halfway through, getting them completely stuck!"
and
"OI! Kings cross station! Get your act together - why have you not got ANY benches or seats on the platforms for passengers to sit on?!"
Fnaar
Smutmaster General
- Location
- Thumberland
If you're going to play music on your mobile, make sure it's stuff that I like, and not that blimming chipmunk music the kids of today seem to listen to 
There could be an exception ...zimzum42 said:
My wife and I were travelling from London to Portsmouth to the IOW. We got a lunch-time train on a Friday, and it was busy-ish. We sat at a table, and were eventually joined by a Largish Lady and a young American girl. After the train sets off, the Largish Lady produced a bottle of red wine, and a corkscrew, and a plastic glass. She uncorked the wine, and poured herself a generous measure. I gazed longingly at the bottle, and she smiled back.
"I don't suppose you've got any spare glasses?" I joshed.
"As it happens, .." she replied, and pulled out three more glasses, and lashed out some more plonkerooney. The American girl looked a bit taken aback, and explained that she was a Novice on her way to a Retreat in a convent on the IOW. The Largish Lady said not to worry - she was a trainee priest in the Anglican church. So we had a most convivial journey, replenished from the drinks trolley from time to time, as necessary. By the time we reached Pompey, we were all pissed!
Sometimes I travel without my wife. So, now and again, I'll get my mobile out, phone my wife, and say, very loudly: "I'm just going through Leicester!" irrespective of where I am.
All because we were once on a train that did go through Leicester, and a chap phoned up someone and said, very loudly: "I'm just going through Leicester!"
We were on a train once, and had reserved seats
Me (to a bloke with lap-top, printer etc plugged into power supply - "I'm afraid you're in our reserved seats"
Bloke: "There are plenty of other seats!"
Me "Well go and sit in them, then!"
All because we were once on a train that did go through Leicester, and a chap phoned up someone and said, very loudly: "I'm just going through Leicester!"
We were on a train once, and had reserved seats
Me (to a bloke with lap-top, printer etc plugged into power supply - "I'm afraid you're in our reserved seats"
Bloke: "There are plenty of other seats!"
Me "Well go and sit in them, then!"
U
User482
Guest
If you've pinched my reserved seat because it's better than yours, do not pretend to be asleep when I'm asking you to move. Do not pretend to be French, unless you are French, in which case do not pretend to not understand French when I'm speaking to you in French.
(and breathe)
(and breathe)
The only sound allowed in the quiet carriage is the automated voice endlessly whittering on about how this is the quiet carriage and you should keep noise to a minimum, you must have a valid ticket or you will be charged a penalty fare and to keep all your belongings with you, etc, etc, etc...
How the hell is is it supposed to be a quiet carriage with all that racket going on? I can cope with being told what the next station is but everything else just defeats the object of the exercise, surely?
How the hell is is it supposed to be a quiet carriage with all that racket going on? I can cope with being told what the next station is but everything else just defeats the object of the exercise, surely?
Archie_tect
De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
- Location
- Northumberland
Any person sitting in a seat on a train will be forcefully ejected at the next station regardless of any reasonable explanation if the guard so wishes, subject to paying for an additional full single ticket for the whole journey, plus a penalty charge, on demand.
John the Monkey
Frivolous Cyclist
- Location
- Crewe
Lap top blokes are a bit of a problem.JamesAC said:
One of the times I had to go to Reading, a chap was sat with all his terribly important laptop paraphenalia across the table and two seats. He seemed very aggrieved to have to surrender his space to me so's I could sit down.
Archie_tect
De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
- Location
- Northumberland
"Welcome to the 7:20 Newcastle to London Kings Cross Service...
If you require anything to make your journey more comfortable please contact your Train Attendant in Coach A.
In the unlikely event that a customer should have a complaint, please contact your train Attendant by joining the queue in Coach M..."
If you require anything to make your journey more comfortable please contact your Train Attendant in Coach A.
In the unlikely event that a customer should have a complaint, please contact your train Attendant by joining the queue in Coach M..."
Hover Fly
Lazy so and so
- Location
- Besides the lake, beneath the trees
I was on a train coming into Euston once, the magic voice piped out "... please take care when leaving the train..." So I snatched the bloke opposite's wig.
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
If you are a visitor to this country, and you enter a railway carriage and see a spare seat, by all means occupy it.
When you then notice that the lady opposite you is accompanied by a very large teddy bear, (about three feet tall standing - the bear - not the lady) and said bear occupies a seat all to himself, do not be alarmed. You may be a stranger to this country, but bear in mind the possibility that the lady was given this teddy by her elderly grandma who is moving house.
Furthermore, when said lady with the teddy bear, admits to the Ticket Inspector that her bear is travelling without a ticket, do not take seriously the fact that the Ticket Inspector says that the bear must leave the train at the next station. The bear is very well behaved, having lived with said Grandma for many years.
When you then notice that the lady opposite you is accompanied by a very large teddy bear, (about three feet tall standing - the bear - not the lady) and said bear occupies a seat all to himself, do not be alarmed. You may be a stranger to this country, but bear in mind the possibility that the lady was given this teddy by her elderly grandma who is moving house.
Furthermore, when said lady with the teddy bear, admits to the Ticket Inspector that her bear is travelling without a ticket, do not take seriously the fact that the Ticket Inspector says that the bear must leave the train at the next station. The bear is very well behaved, having lived with said Grandma for many years.
CopperBrompton
Bicycle: a means of transport between cake-stops
- Location
- London
When some poor sod is trying to get some work done on his laptop because he's working a 14-hour day, you are not legally required to sit next to him and get all indignant about the space taken by his laptop when there are about 48 other seats free in the same carriage, including four empty seats directly opposite.
John the Monkey
Frivolous Cyclist
- Location
- Crewe
Oo!Ben Lovejoy said:
In my case, it was the last seat in the carriage (so far as I could see).
I guess I could have paid the upgrade to first class so as not to disturb the grumpy, ignorant tosspot though.
