Rules for Public Transport

[Lazy-Commuter]

(In case it wasn't obvious, it wasn't me on the phone, it was a woman sitting in front of me, and later walking in front of me at Leeds station.)

I think it would be much easier if people just forgot this modern concept of everybody needing to know where everybody else is and what they are doing at all times!

My mobile phone is switched off 99% of the time or only used as an alarm clock, the main exception being when people are meeting me for one of my CycleChat forum rides and somebody might need to let me know that they are late or not coming after all.

Sorry, Colin, yeah I'd spotted it wasn't you. My comment was addressed to the woman in question. Not that she'll ever see it.

I'd like to add a few rules based on my train ride this morning ..

- As an addendum to the rule about pressing the button to open the doors before the train's even stopped, one should - on finding that the doors don't open - beat a rapid drumbeat on the button until the doors are eventually released and it does finally open.

- One should then barrel straight onto the train as the doors are opening, and just push anyone waiting to get OFF the train out of the way.

- One should then hurl oneself down into a seat, put feet up on the seat opposite and proceed to play some rap (with a silent "c") music through the nasty tinny speaker of one's mobile.

 

[paddy01]

This morning I took the train for the first time in at least 14 years. I cycled to my local station, hopped on the first train of the day and had no problem accomodating my bike - a single speed mtb so non-folding.

I had a seat, had a lovely view of the Exe Estuary as the sun rose and arrived at my destination suitably relaxed. A short ride the other end and I was in the office tickety boo.

Of course if I can't get a spot for my bike on the train home that I wish to board there will be no services running west of Exeter for the foreseeable future as I'll have eaten all the staff in a fit of pique.

 

[ianrauk]

On a late night train home, one must not forget to stink the carriage out with the smell of your disgusting Macdonalds/Burger King/Kebab...

 

[Twenty Inch]

"Don't try to leave the train before the doors have opened"

 

[Rhythm Thief]

The only sound allowed in the quiet carriage is the automated voice endlessly whittering on about how this is the quiet carriage and you should keep noise to a minimum, you must have a valid ticket or you will be charged a penalty fare and to keep all your belongings with you, etc, etc, etc...

How the hell is is it supposed to be a quiet carriage with all that racket going on? I can cope with being told what the next station is but everything else just defeats the object of the exercise, surely?

Absolutely. And I would add, we don't need to know where the "emergency exits" are. It's a railway carriage, not a 747.

 

[Speicher]

On the subject of railway carriages, and safety etc. Do any of the regular travellers by train carry their own mini-hammer to break windows in case of emergency? At one time, IIRC, lots of people bought these. Could you improvise with other items?

 

[Kestevan]

The head of the person sat with his feet up on the seat playing rap "music".

 

[Bollo]

On the subject of railway carriages, and safety etc. Do any of the regular travellers by train carry their own mini-hammer to break windows in case of emergency? At one time, IIRC, lots of people bought these. Could you improvise with other items?

No, but I did seriously investigate the cost (expensive) and legality (very illegal!) of a mobile phone jammer.

windows + cleats = escaped bollo!

 

[TheDoctor]

Generally speaking you *know* how to get out of a train.
The way you came in normally does the trick...

 

[Arch]

Generally speaking you *know* how to get out of a train.
The way you came in normally does the trick...

TBH, I think that's a bit complicated for some...

 

[TheDoctor]

Well, they shouldn't be allowed out unsupervised!
Can I also object to people eating seriously smelly food on trains?

 

[amasidlover]

When some poor sod is trying to get some work done on his laptop because he's working a 14-hour day, you are not legally required to sit next to him and get all indignant about the space taken by his laptop when there are about 48 other seats free in the same carriage, including four empty seats directly opposite.

+1

You're also not required to glare at him when you sit opposite him, with him having deliberately bought as small a laptop as feasible and is taking up far less than a quarter of the space on the table, but you can't carefully smooth out your copy of the Daily Telegraph across the whole table...

 

[Kirstie]

Sometimes have a heart. If a young mum travelling on her own with two kids under five happens to be sitting in your seat, because its the first one she got to, and there are masses of empty seats in the entire train, don't kick up a stink, give her a stern lecture, sit down with a hrmph and hide behind your daily mail making disapproving noises.

Don't call every friend on your contact list and tell them the same story about your personal problems each time.

 

[purplepolly]

+1
, but you can't carefully smooth out your copy of the Daily Telegraph across the whole table...

I always laugh at the northern rail posters to encourage users of ipods etc to keep the noise down. There's a bloke with earphones in sitting next to a bloke with his broadsheet spread full width and elbowing earphone-man, meanwhile they're smiling happily at each other.

If someone started elbowing me like that I would be tempted to take the earphones out just so that I could turn the stereo up to full volume.

 

[CharlieB]

If you must have wheeled luggage, please can you wait until you're well clear of the train door you've just got out of before you stop to unfold the handle.