Rules on etiquette.

[Gromit]

Bikepete and I, are having a conversation about etiquette and whether some rules are different for men and women.

For instance, when somebody enters a room for the first time does everyone who is sitting down have to stand up to acknowledge the persons arrival?

What would you do?

 

[Gerry Attrick]

If it is a formal occasion and that someone is a lady, then yes, the gentlemen must stand on her arrival.

 

[Dayvo]

If someone entered a house/pub/workplace etc. where they knew people, I feel the onus is on that person to make the first greeting!

If they enter somewhere (a small country town shop), then a general greeting to no-one in particular would be acceptable.

That's what I do, anyway!

 

[Dayvo]

Oh, I just re-read it!

Don't know about the standing-up bit; I suppose as Gerry says, it's courteous to stand up in the presence a female, on formal occasions, or if it's an elderly relative.

 

[Gerry Attrick]

Port to the right? Surely you mean left! Unless this is peculiar to your regiment?

 

[wafflycat]

If it is a formal occasion and that someone is a lady, then yes, the gentlemen must stand on her arrival.

I would like to point out that Mr & Mrs Attrick have fine manners

 

[Globalti]

In a business environment I stand whenever a male or female enters who has something to do with the meeting. So if it's the tea lady, no of course not but if it's a member of the customer's staff, yes.

I always address strangers by their title until we reach informality - Mr or Mrs or Doctor or Haji or whatever. Anybody I speak to on the phone, especially overseas callers, is Sir or Madam because you never know who they might be.

 

[Gerry Attrick]

Fraught with problems.

I remember some of our strange Regimental customs, including passing the port bottle to the right, but the bottle was not allowed to leave the table, as in not allowed to lose contact with the table!

As for the standing one, yes, I would stand if anyone entered the room, for the first time, at a formal occassion. It would be acceptable to remain seated on seubsequent re-entering (such as coming back from the toilet or having left to beat a servant).

Also, always stand for the playing of a national anthem.

Oh, and I just read your post properly and you must mean the port must not make contact with the table. That's why regimental and naval port decanters were produced with round bottoms. The only way they could be rested on the table was in the wooden base which remained with the person who commenced the round.

 

[Gromit]

Do i as a women have to stand up when someone new comes into the room is the big question. Am I being rude not doing so?

I know that men have to take off their hats when entering a church where as lady's do not need to do so.

 

[Gerry Attrick]

As I understand it, if the lady entering is perceived as superior rank, then it is usual for ladies to stand as well as the gentlemen. If equal or lower rank, then ladies remain seated. (I stress however that I am not a lady).

 

[ComedyPilot]

I always though it was rude of a man to wear any headwear indoors. So when I see chavs in their (frankly naff) BB caps indoors, it makes me wonder where manners have gone.

Then again, the times I've taken their caps off them (searching/photos etc as a copper) I noticed they all had the same lank, lifeless, combed-over, short back and sides hairdo. A bit like Hitler on a wet day.

 

[Campfire]

Rules on Etiquette

As I understand it, if the lady entering is perceived as superior rank, then it is usual for ladies to stand as well as the gentlemen. If equal or lower rank, then ladies remain seated. (I stress however that I am not a lady).

Do people still do this nowadays? At least in ordinary society. I thought such a lot of these things had gone by the board unless you are one of the Hierarchy or the Cheshire Set etc.

I would probably just stand up out of general courtesy to anyone to whom I was being introduced (being a 'lady')

 

[Danny]

In a business environment I stand whenever a male or female enters who has something to do with the meeting. So if it's the tea lady, no of course not but if it's a member of the customer's staff, yes.

I would personally try and treat the tea lady with the same courtesy as anyone else.

 

[Globalti]

Admirable but misguided good intentions; that would look really ridiculous in any context and would get you marked down as an idiot. In Europe the tea lady is epected to flit in and out of meetings but is not part of the social or business event that's taking place. In many other countries I visit the tea lady or tea boy is the local halfwit who has been given the job thanks to a family connection and to stand for him or her would invite derision and certainly embarrass them and probably ruin your credibility. Would you really stand in a business meeting in the Middle East when the mama from the kitchen came in with the glasses of tea?

 

[Fnaar]

I remain standing on the off chance that somebody might come in. And I ask the tea-lady if she has some nice macaroons....

(I have good mannners really)