Run in with a motorist this morning

[Gary E]

+1 for walking away. Look at the alternatives
1) you get in a fight and end up in hospital.
2) you get in a fight and he ends up in hospital and you end up arrested for assault.

In my experience the sort of people that cut you up and yell at you aren't the sort of people that listen to constructive criticism anyway so why bother? Life's too short!

Thinking that you've won because the other guy backed down and didn't want a fight is just play ground thinking. Walk away smug in the knowledge that you did the grown up thing

 

[Matthew_T]

Why feel guilty for apologising? You didnt apologise, you said what he wanted to hear. In you mind, you know you were not sorry and so does he. Someone apologising diffuses the situation (well it should).

I had a woman who severely SMIDSYed me last week and when I pulled up to give her a good necking, I was met with "I am so sorry, I just didnt see you, I apologise profusely*". I Just said "It's okay, I would have had a go but at least you apologised".

* When she used this word, I knew she wasnt the typical tyrrant that I normally meet so I knew she was genuinely sorry.

 

[Crankarm]

+1 for walking away. Look at the alternatives
1) you get in a fight and end up in hospital.
2) you get in a fight and he ends up in hospital and you end up arrested for assault.

In my experience the sort of people that cut you up and yell at you aren't the sort of people that listen to constructive criticism anyway so why bother? Life's too short!

Thinking that you've won because the other guy backed down and didn't want a fight is just play ground thinking. Walk away smug in the knowledge that you did the grown up thing

Or you backed down because things COULD have become very ugly. You never know who you are taking on.

Outside work last week a scrawny runt in a grey Burtons suit and tie was really screaming and shouting abuse at a group of what I thought were foregn students, young lads in their teens prob about 16-17 years old. Mr Scrawny Runt wouldn't let it go as he believed they had disrespected him as they walked by and he was literally going bananas at them. He was also on his mobile at the same time. Strutting around like a young thug in a uniform he kept walking back along the pavement to the students each time more and more angry, I thought he was going to lay into them all. He was porbably on his way to or from court. He definately had issues. Anyway the next thing that happens he challenges this group of 3 or 4 lads to a fight telling them he'd take them all out. Bear in mind this is in the centre of Cambridge and people had started to stop and stare. The guy was a total headcase. Nutter. I think one of the students apologised as the thug in a suit seemed to have extracted an apology which meant he could continue strutting along the pavement shouting into his mobile phone. I watched disgreetly from a safe distance with my finger on the phone key pad to dial 999 if he started throwing punches. It was pretty scary for all who were watching. Nutter.

So be careful what you get into. You don't want the police having to call your family to say you are in a morgue in some hospital.

 

[Matthew_T]

Dont want to change topic here but, if you walk away from a confrontation, and then the person assaults you because you are ignoring them, obviously you are not in the wrong but are you entitled to retaliate in self defence?

 

[Gary E]

If the guy's daft enough to throw the first punch then all bets are off and I bring out the big guns! Turning the other cheek only goes so far

You have an inherent right to defend yourself but your actions must be proportionate, often called the rule of minimum force.

If he punches you and you wrestle him to the ground = OK

If he punches you and you pull a gun and shoot him in the head = not OK

Remember, in a fight, it's a well known fact that your feet are better than your fists - use them to run away

 

[tadpole]

If it is in self defence, they you are not retaliating.
In all cases you are allowed to defend yourself using reasonable force. Only you have to be sure that the force you use is reasonable, and be able to prove it in a court of law if necessary.

 

[Drago]

Why get into a confrontation only to back down when you realise theyre packing more horsepower than you? I'm bigger than most the population but don't go looking for confrontation. I don't waste my breath challenging motorists - what does it achieve?

 

[jonny jeez]

If the guy's daft enough to throw the first punch then all bets are off and I bring out the big guns! Turning the other cheek only goes so far
You have an inherent right to defend yourself but your actions must be proportionate, often called the rule of minimum force.
If he punches you and you wrestle him to the ground = OK
If he punches you and you pull a gun and shoot him in the head = not OK

At the risk of taking this thread off topic. I disagree.

I've had a few punches thrown at me and I've managed to use the skills I've learnt (as a black belt in Shotokan Karate) to defend myself without bring out the "big guns".

But if I felt truly threatened (or felt someone I cared for was) then disproportionate violence is often the best way to go. I'm not suggesting pulling a gun...that's just impractical...but you do need to get their attention.

I do agree that feet are the best solution and walking or running away is the best form of self defence, but a right foot to the solar plexus is also a bloody good way to get someone's attention.

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg0a7knxrw4

 

[Hip Priest]

No shame in backing down. I'd have done the same if it meant avoiding a fight.

 

[Gez73]

I fail to see the point in glaring at the driver when you catch up to him at the roundabout or junction. If you felt he was going to overtake you dangerously then that's your perception at that time. Having a pop at him or giving him daggers or whatever achieves nothing. Had you stayed in primary approaching the pinch point/junction he would had to hang back or hit you. Probably the former. You have done nothing to alter/improve his perception of cyclists. Anticipation and a bitten tongue have served me well over the years of sharing the roads with people not fit to breath but they are there just the same and aren't worth the possible risks. I always make a point of keeping my fingers firmly on the bars! Looking over your shoulder to the following traffic when approaching a pinch point alerts a driver to the fact that maybe you're seeing something they can't or that they need to take extra care. Sometimes the bigger thing to do is nothing at all.

 

[sabian92]

I glare at drivers if they've done something wrong because the way I see it is if they had done nothing wrong then nobody would be glaring at them.

 

[Matthew_T]

I glare at drivers if they've done something wrong because the way I see it is if they had done nothing wrong then nobody would be glaring at them.

Obvious really.

 

[dawesome]

Looking over your shoulder to the following traffic when approaching a pinch point

Quite a few times I've had drivers abort an overtake and brake sharply when all I've done is chuck a life-saver.

 

[Gary E]

At the risk of taking this thread off topic. I disagree.

I've had a few punches thrown at me and I've managed to use the skills I've learnt (as a black belt in Shotokan Karate) to defend myself without bring out the "big guns".

But if I felt truly threatened (or felt someone I cared for was) then disproportionate violence is often the best way to go. I'm not suggesting pulling a gun...that's just impractical...but you do need to get their attention.

I do agree that feet are the best solution and walking or running away is the best form of self defence, but a right foot to the solar plexus is also a bloody good way to get someone's attention.

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg0a7knxrw4

Not a lot of use if he shares your liking for disproportionate retaliation - he'll just get back in his car and run you over

Not trying to get into an argument about who's the biggest badest kid in the playground. I could give you my vital statistics (which for the purposes of this 'internet forum' are enormously impressive and scary) but as a piece of 'general advice' for those who aren't combatants discretion is always the better part of valour! Besides, if you avoid the stress in the first place you'll live longer

 

[Nebulous]

I don't think I've been in a fight since I was at school, a very long time ago. At work people often cannot believe how patient I am in some very difficult situations. Certainly not a saint, but a pretty easy-going chap.

Then I started back on a bike on the road for the first time in about 25 years and found myself losing it. Sometimes I'd manage it twice on a 2 mile commute. I even found myself chasing drivers to confront them!

I'm not sure what it was; a sense of vunerability? A mixture of adrenaline and testosterone? A massive sense of being wronged and bullied (I've never liked bullies) by a much bigger vehicle? A combination of all the above?

Anyway it made me take a long hard look at myself and decide that the answer lay with me rather than other people. 18 months in I still do it occasionally, but not nearly as often as I did.

Strangely enough the two most dangerous situations I have had, with cars pulling out on me requiring an emergency stop, I didn't get angry at all. On both occasions the overwhelming emotion was relief that I was still in one piece.