These people are not the real Santa Claus.
They are athletes, fundraisers or drunken partygoers who think it clever to dress as Santa Claus in connection with their festive bacchanalia.
There is (was) only one real Santa Claus.
Please do not tell anybody, but after a misunderstanding when he was delivering presents just under a year ago and got soot on my hearth rug, I clubbed him (accidentally) to death with a fire iron.
He is buried in a local wood. Despite the frost that night (and the tree and ivy roots), I got the hole down to just over a metre. Not ideal, but good enough to keep local dogs off the scent.
We had venison stew for the next six weeks and the sleigh went on the fire. I am now heartily sick of venison.
I sold on
eBay the fifteen X-Box 360s he had left.
His absence has yet to be reported, but I feel the coming week may be the crunch time as his popularity appears to be seasonal.