School Bullies

[fossyant]

Well, it's all kicked off again.

As some will know, my son has had 'issues' with a particular boy for years, since they started Primary.
It's got steadily more and more violent, and usually gets worse towards the end of the school year.

He's now in his last year at primary school, and was at a 'taster day' at high school yesterday. The High School has been told about the 'problem' child and will be separated in a different 'half year', meaning they won't mix.

My son enjoyed his day, and at the end was sat on the wall in the playground chatting to a few friends, before the school gates were unlocked.

Said bully comes up, with an accomplice, and tries to shove my son off the wall. This quickly escallates into both kids assaulting my son, one holding, the other punching. My son did fight back.

My wife has been into the Primary school today as this incident happened infront of a large number of kids from other schools, certainly doesn't paint them in a good light. I've send in a 'strongly' worded email to both schools, strong enough that my wife isn't happy with me. No more trying to be constructve - they need to sort this child out. Flaming annoyed I am.

 

[gb155]

Well, it's all kicked off again.

As some will know, my son has had 'issues' with a particular boy for years, since they started Primary.
It's got steadily more and more violent, and usually gets worse towards the end of the school year.

He's now in his last year at primary school, and was at a 'taster day' at high school yesterday. The High School has been told about the 'problem' child and will be separated in a different 'half year', meaning they won't mix.

My son enjoyed his day, and at the end was sat on the wall in the playground chatting to a few friends, before the school gates were unlocked.

Said bully comes up, with an accomplice, and tries to shove my son off the wall. This quickly escallates into both kids assaulting my son, one holding, the other punching. My son did fight back.

My wife has been into the Primary school today as this incident happened infront of a large number of kids from other schools, certainly doesn't paint them in a good light. I've send in a 'strongly' worded email to both schools, strong enough that my wife isn't happy with me. No more trying to be constructve - they need to sort this child out. Flaming annoyed I am.

Whys the misses nit happy ? Nowt worse than a bully , I've had my fill over the years and wish I had a parent send a strongly worded email backing me up tbh

Hope you get it sorted .sadly its a bit more difficult than just hoping

 

[fossyant]

I probably 'hissed' the High School off. When I 'googled' the school's name (to get the email/website) number 4 hit is a youtube video of one of their teachers on CCTV assaulting a neighbour..FFS - I was shocked (looked into it further and he was suspended for a while). The teacher is still there and I may have mentioned this in my email.

The sh1t is going to hit the fan on this one. My wife has posted a message on her FB, and she's got lots of friends who are 'mums' at the school. Lets say there is a shocked reaction.

 

[BSRU]

My niece had a problem with a bully and the headmistress basically refused to do anything because officially doing something means it gets noted in the schools report, or something like that. After several months of inaction from the head, my sister just called the police, then suddenly the head took notice.

 

[MissTillyFlop]

My niece had a problem with a bully and the headmistress basically refused to do anything because officially doing something means it gets noted in the schools report, or something like that. After several months of inaction from the head, my sister just called the police, then suddenly the head took notice.

+1 for involving police. Was bullied every day for five years by socially challenged, intellectual inferiors. School did nothing. I made the choice to report it every time it happened, which stopped the immediate problem... Until the next break in lessons. It's no way to live.

 

[Hacienda71]

If you don't get closure on the incident, make the governing body aware. I am a governor at my sons school and the teachers will take notice of the governors if the governing body is strong. They don't like governors questioning how the school is being run. If this doesn't work calmly tell the school that you will be referring the matter to the police. (your son has been assulted while in their care) You need to do this in a calm manner so the school will not view you as a hysterical parent and simply try to calm you down, but will take the matter seriously.
Good luck with the outcome.

 

[fossyant]

I've worded in my email that I may involve the Police. We actually warned the mum of the bully a few years back that their son would soon reach the age of 10 where the can be held legally responsible - he is 11 now. TBH the Police wouldn't be anything new for that family. Bunch of bad eggs.

 

[fossyant]

A close friend is a governor at the High School - we've told her. She has no messing.

 

[screenman]

Our boys were never bullied nor did they bully as far as I know, they did all attend Judo classes at least twice a week. For sure they got into a scrap at school but on each occasion it was proven to be started by a bully, who never took them on again. I am yet to find anyone who does Judo be effected by bullying or indeed be a bully.

Unfortunately we cannot protect our kids all the time from bullies, life is not that kind, we can however give them the equipment and skills to stand up to them.

 

[postman]

Time for the hard word.Police or your lad just might do something he gets the blame for.And the bully gets away with it and all the sympathy.

 

[Fnaar]

The sh1t is going to hit the fan on this one. My wife has posted a message on her FB, and she's got lots of friends who are 'mums' at the school. Lets say there is a shocked reaction.

Just a word of caution fossy, I reckon FB is really not the best place to air grievances. I've had to have a serious word with my brother about doing so. It's the equivalent of standing in the street shouting outside someone's door while they're not actually in. Obv the bully is the instigator and the one to be admonished here, but best not to fan the flames. Just an opinion.

 

[MontyVeda]

Good on you for doing something... Having been bullied for five years in high school with parents saying 'keep away from them' and teachers 'having a word' (which meant I'd grassed up and got more shoot as a result)... in my final two years i just started truanting more and more frequently.

Hope it gets sorted... kids should be free to enjoy school.

 

[martint235]

I am yet to find anyone who does Judo be effected by bullying or indeed be a bully.

Sorry but I disagree. I have met bullies who have studied martial arts, I even know one sensei who I would class as a bully so I would doubt judo is immune to them. What happens if the kid bullying your children decides he needs to learn judo too, you just get an escalation.

The bully (and family) need to be dealt with in such a way as to remove the problem not the symptom (which judo does as in addition to above, it may just deflect the bullying to a new child).

I was bullied for years as a child and my parents response was always "stand up for yourself" or "hit them back". Now this seems harsh I know and I don't condone it as an approach but when I did start hitting back there was no question of my mum and dad not backing me up when parents came to complain that "nice little Johnny" had just had his nose broken by your "big lump of a son". They were told where to go in no uncertain terms.

Good luck fossyant. I hope you manage to get it sorted.

 

[fossyant]

My son has dished out a few bloody noses recently. Don't know where he got that idea ?

He was getting hit and kicked by a lad in an indoor play area last week. He tollerated it for quite a while, but in the end landed a single punch to the nose (bloodied).

The School is meeting my wife at 3pm and the parents of the other kids have been summoned !

 

[TonyEnjoyD]

Re letting the board of governors know, find out who the governor co-ordinator is at you local council and ask if you can get a letter to each governor at the school to ensure any letter to the chair isnt "filtered".
This will also ensure that the matter is brought to the table at the next meeting.

Bullying should and must not be allowed to happen.