Selfish colleagues, and being undermined at work

[Blue Hills]

When you are at work no one is your friend. No one.

Sad but a certain truth I think.
I've always tried to keep a certain distance between personal and office.
One of the reasons why I find facefark with folks allowing access from both sides so problematical/disturbing.
And one doesn't have to think too much to figure out who is digging up lots of these old career-ending twitters.

 

[Dave7]

I’ve worked with plenty of people I consider friends and indeed some of my best friends are ex colleagues.

I could count on one hand the number of people I’ve worked with over the last 20+ years whom I really struggled to engage with (and fewer I couldn‘t stand). This is probably just as well as the specialist part of the industry I work in is incredibly incestuous and I’d never burn my bridges! I’ve not struggled to get contracts since going freelance over 5 years ago

I am with you there.
There have been people I didn't like but my reasoning has always been ........that's fine as there must be people that don't like me (I know, you are amazed at that). You just get on with it.

 

[PaulSB]

and we should be looking after each other. I certainly look out for him, I've helped him out for 4 years, and I cover his work for him a lot too; (He's quite "creative" with time off, he spends about a third of his life on the other side of the planet with his partner, and I cover his half of the region when he's away - But no problem, you do that for a close colleague

Has it occurred to you he's taking the piss and you're allowing it to happen? I suspect this latest incident is simply an extension of the last four years.

 

[raleighnut]

I've worked with some right 'farkwits' in my time

 

[DCLane]

One of the reasons I do my job, besides enjoying much of it, is I get to work with a good group of dedicated people, most of whom are much brighter than I am.

Yes there are a few selfish, sometimes narcissistic, ones but I can (usually) avoid them. They're often trying to be on an upward trajectory (and failing) or simply avoiding doing anything outside their pet personal interest - such is academia.

Most of us will support colleagues where needed. It's one of the reasons I've stayed at my university for nearly 20 years.

 

[cyberknight]

I've worked with some right 'farkwits' in my time

Most people are i find, like last night i was following someone on a job and i even had to come off my break early to get it started as it was behind schedule .I didnt moan i just got on with it .He took over from me at next break after working my guts out to get it in a good condition then end of the day he comes back " who was on before me and left loads of empties ?" i left one cus the the parts dolly was in the way which i was half way through loading and you cant move it till the dolly is gone .I honestly nearly walked out the door the utter smeg head

 

[CanucksTraveller]

Has it occurred to you he's taking the piss and you're allowing it to happen. I suspect this latest incident is simply an extension of the last four years.

Yes, that has occurred to me a few times but we generally try not to think the worst of people don't we... I think if we're trying to be decent people our default is that we tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, often several times, I've just reached my limit of tolerance. I can only hope that tearing a strip off him has left him in no doubt that he crossed a line.
It's a shame as everyone else in the wider team are lovely and it's a pleasure to be around them.

 

[PaulB]

I once hosted the visit of a new national manager from London to my area for, firstly, a medical conference. The main meeting time for us was 11.30 - 1.30pm on Day two. Where was he just then? He'd taken a ferry ride across the Mersey (it was something he'd always wanted to do) to get a 'Tantric Massage' through a contact he'd arranged before turning up. He'd gone to a knocking shop basically. Secondly; we had to be together to show our new product at an actual operation - on a real patient - to a surgeon in one of my hospitals. Where was he just then? He was at a nearby hotel being accredited to participate in a currency-trading scheme he'd invested time and money in. And then to give himself some breathing space, he tried to discipline ME so he'd have something over me to prevent me from not lying on our report sheet for both activities. That didn't last long.

 

[CanucksTraveller]

I had a colleague like that, he saw work as a sometimes helpful enabler to his main raison d'etres which were basically seeking out sexual adventures or monetary perks. It was like working with the love child of Robin Asquith and Del boy Trotter. He was married with two kids but saw a travelling job as a boon since it gave him weekly opportunities to smarm his way into temporary "arrangements".

One occasion, we were saying goodbye to our well liked Boss, he'd ended the working day a couple of hours early for us and we had adjourned to a local pub. One pint in, we started talking about booking taxis to the next place, and "Kev" obliges by going outside to call a taxi.
Ten minutes later, a people carrier taxi pulled up and we started getting coats on etc, but Kev has already gone outside, got in the taxi, and gone off over the horizon. We later learned that he had been texting one of his women on the side while having his first pint... given that his bosses' leaving do had granted him a pass for the evening along with a good cover story, he'd decided to do some horizontal dancing rather than see his boss off.

All his work trips were the same, minimum work, maximum perving, and he'd use colleagues to cover for him. A total liability.

 

[Arrowfoot]

I am actually surprised that your boss allows another colleague to report an issue that falls within your area of responsibility. And without notifying you first. Thats really poor management. Very unprofessional. Helping one another or covering the other's responsibilities during annual leave or absence is fine and that is always done.

Sly colleagues are not a surprise but none dare do such a thing because they know management will question their motives. This sort of conduct you expect at the kitchen end of a fast food franchise because of the transient nature of staff.

It's best to draw a line in the sand now.

 

[Hicky]

I am actually surprised that your boss allows another colleague to report an issue that falls within your area of responsibility. And without notifying you first. Thats really poor management. Very unprofessional. Helping one another or covering the other's responsibilities during annual leave or absence is fine and that is always done.

Sly colleagues are not a surprise but none dare do such a thing because they know management will question their motives. This sort of conduct you expect at the kitchen end of a fast food franchise because of the transient nature of staff.

It's best to draw a line in the sand now.

Maybe poor man management but if its affecting the bottom line so to speak the management won't give a shoot as it will make them look bad.
I've found job roles and management of people has shifted into the encouragement of "personal development" or getting the best out of your career via PDR. In my eyes the individual is left to stagnate if the manager is bone idle or self absorbed....when did a manager stop developing those below them....?
The worst I've seen is in uniformed services(rhymes with barmy). Self centred whoppers.

 

[graham56]

I'm angrier than a whacked box of wasps currently...

I have a close colleague that I work with - we're a team of 2 covering a large region for an American company.
To cut a long story short, we jointly look after operations in about 40 cities split fairly evenly between us. Being so closely aligned and dependent, we should be operating like brothers; We should have each other's backs, and we should be looking after each other. I certainly look out for him, I've helped him out for 4 years, and I cover his work for him a lot too; (He's quite "creative" with time off, he spends about a third of his life on the other side of the planet with his partner, and I cover his half of the region when he's away - But no problem, you do that for a close colleague).

Now, if I become aware of something developing in one of his cities (and I often do, it just works like that sometimes), then of course he's absolutely the first person I'm going to alert in those circumstances. Then he's got time to start to deal with it, and he can report it back to Head Office once he's had time to get his ducks in a row.

Something happened in one of my key locations earlier however, and the very first thing I know about it is when he's fired off an email to our mutual Director in the States, only putting me in CC. No advance heads up for me, no "are you aware of this yet".... just an email to the Director about something going on in one of my cities. So then of course the questions start coming back from the US, and I've not even had time to start researching the details of what's occurred. It put me in a really uncomfortable position.

This isn't the first time he's been this thoughtless. I'm always thoughtful of him and his circumstances, how things I do (like taking a few days off) might potentially affect him, but there never seems to be any of the same consideration coming back. Frankly he's selfish, at best. I convinced myself that on the latest showing, he might even potentially be seeking to undermine me. I hope not, I didn't have him down as that.
It's not like me to be confrontational, but I called him and I've gone absolutely ballistic at him, I told him how utterly thoughtless and self centred that was. I think it shocked him, he sounded really embarrassed....he's apologised and said that he won't do that again but we'll see.

Just a rant really, I needed to get it off my chest. But if you work with an ass-hat, feel free to share.

Sometimes it’s the only way. I wouldn’t let it get to you.

 

[welsh dragon]

If this was the first time this happened, then you could wait and see if it ever happens again. However you said this isn't the first time. That shows a pattern of deceit and of deliberately wanting to make you look bad and to get you into trouble. He clearly cannot be trusted and in work that happens all to often.

My advise? Don't ever help him out again. Leave him to sink or swim. He will dump you in it again sooner or later.

Good luck.

 

[Deleted User]

When you are at work no one is your friend. No one.

That's a shame, lads I work with are mates as well as colleagues.

Drinking and in one case cycling as well, depends on the industry I guess.

No competition in my game as we're all the same.

I thought you squaddies were close?