Share your Viz Comic top tips

[The Essex Spurs]

couldn't resist this one as someone just reminded me of the comic by posting a comment in the style of Viz.
One each per comment should suffice.

 

[wheresthetorch]

Save on vet bills and pet food by not having any pets.

 

[Markymark]

See how people lived in the past throughout the ages before returning to the present day by cycling LEL

 

[Drago]

Ladies - make life easy during those inevitable car park dings by keeping a dustpan and brush in the car.

 

[TVC]

Make people think you have an expensive sound system in your van by making your mate sit in the back and kick the back doors rhythmically.

 

[Markymark]

Make people think you have an Andriod phone by pressing button on your iPhone twice as slowly, ignoring most of the functions and having sex half as often.

 

[Deleted member 35268]

Avoid buying expensive clipless pedals and shoes by simply superglueing some old trainers to your existing pedals.

 

[Markymark]

Discover 4,000,000 extra parking spaces by buying a BMW.

 

[TVC]

Why not pretend you live in London by driving everywhere at 8mph.

 

[Markymark]

Make people think you're 14 again by buying a mountain bike.

 

[Tin Pot]

Save on expensive carpeting of the whole house buy sticking two squares of carpet to the underside of your shoes.

 

[Drago]

Save money on toilet roll by pooing less.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Make people think you don't live in Tottenham by carrying around an A to Z and asking everyone the way.

 

[Markymark]

A good way to boost your confidence is by coming onto CylceChat and reminding yourself of what losers everyone else there is.

 

[Deleted member 23692]

Avoid long waits to get Doctor's appointments by booking one for each day. If you wake up feeling OK, simply cancel it