Share your Viz Comic top tips

[Profpointy]

Thats one of my favourite quotes. The HR didn't seem too impressed with the methodology when I suggested it to him.

More seriously there's a good mathematical logic that to have a good chance of the best candidate without interviewing everyone is that you interview and reject slightly under half the candidates then hire the first one that's as good as the best you've seen so far

 

[Oldbloke]

Make your own Amazon Echo by putting some fairy lights in a Pringles tube and have your wife bellow "I'm sorry I don't know how to do that" every time you cough or drop a panlid on the kitchen floor.

 

[Trickedem]

Make yourself feel 20 years younger. Go shopping in Morrisons on a Saturday morning.

 

[Drago]

Don't waste money on expensive washing machines or launderettes. Every Friday donate your clothes to the local charity shop, and Monday morning you can buy them back all cleaned and ironed for a quid.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

Fool your neighbours into thinking you have a high-powered job in The City by leaving the house at half five in the morning, returning just before midnight and dropping dead of a heart attack in your early forties.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

A Post-It note stuck to your top lip makes an ideal security device that deters lip-reading spies.

 

[NorthernDave]

Fool everyone into thinking your car has automatic lights by switching your headlights on and then off again whenever you go under a bridge.

 

[Houthakker]

Playing your radio too loudly in the garden can annoy your neighbours. Another good way is to set their shed on fire.

 

[Drago]

To obtain the best nutritional value from Quorn, simply sprinkle food upon it.

 

[Markymark]

Pulling your bum cheeks apart is an excellent way to avoid a loud fart.

 

[Markymark]

Don't pull your bum cheeks apart when farting to avoid sitting it crappy pants all day.

 

[Drago]

Save money on expensive vets bills by giving by your dog a human name and registering it with the GP instead.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

Convince your partner they have farted and followed through in the night by placing a chocolate button between their bumcheeks as they sleep.

 

[Drago]

Annoy cinema goers by shouting "Ronnie Pickering" at the key moment of Spartacus.

 

[Drago]

[QUOTE 4780546, member: 45"]This thread is making me cry.[/QUOTE]

It will if you actually attempt any of these tips.