Share your Viz Comic top tips

[Markymark]

Become the most powerful person in the world by saying any old shoot and hope enough idiots will believe you.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

Save space in your freezer by storing frozen peas in the holes of potato waffles.

 

[Drago]

Pretend you have a chauffeur by setting the cruise and climbing into the rear seat.

 

[Lilliburlero]

At supermarket checkouts a Toblerone box makes a handy 'Next customer Please' sign for dyslexic shoppers.

 

[Drago]

Save having to shell out a pound for a trolley at Tesco by taking a wheelbarrow with you.

 

[Garry A]

Trick people into thinking you're training for a marathon by drinking a litre of vodka and running down the street buckled.

 

[Drago]

Don't waste money on expensive improvisational jazz albums and smoking jackets. Simply play a normal album backwards and wear a dressing gown inside out.

 

[Lilliburlero]

Play "Moth Aircraft Carriers" by floating a shoe box in the bath with a torch attached. Leave a window open for ten minutes, then turn off the room lights and watch as the moths attempt to make their dramatic and dangerous landings.

I really want to do this one

 

[Glow worm]

Audi drivers - get even closer to the car in front by moving your seat as far forward as it will go.

 

[Glow worm]

Toothpicks make great snooker cues for mice.

 

[Glow worm]

Snooker cues make great toothpicks for elephants.

 

[TVC]

Tired of spending all day shouting at your children at home, why not mix things up and go to the supermarket to shout at them instead.

 

[Drago]

Pretend you're a hard core communist by purchasing a twelve bedroom mansion in Surrey, and driving a Jag to work. For extra authenticity you could consider rioting when someone says something you don't like.

 

[Markymark]

Bexiteers, convince yourself it's a roaring success by burning half your cash and painting your passport blue.

 

[Drago]

Fancy a role as a peace envoy? Nothing simpler. Start several wars and invade the odd country and they'll be falling over themselves to give you a job?