Share your Viz Comic top tips
- Thread starter The Essex Spurs
- Start date
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Mr Celine
Discordian
- Location
- Waxing my moustache
Save money on expensive personalised number plates. Change your name to match your existing plate.
Mr D750 CKS, Selkirkshire
Mr D750 CKS, Selkirkshire
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Training for a manned moon mission, but cant afford expensive training programmes?
Fear not!
Simply wrap yourself in bacofoil, slip a goldfish bowl on your noggin, and head for the nearest potholed road to simulate the lunar surface.
Fear not!
Simply wrap yourself in bacofoil, slip a goldfish bowl on your noggin, and head for the nearest potholed road to simulate the lunar surface.
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Can't afford a TV? Simply tape a picture of Jeremy Kyle to the inside of the microwave door and get the kids to shout at eaxh other.
slowmotion
Quite dreadful
- Location
- lost somewhere
Glow worm
Legendary Member
- Location
- Near Newmarket
Car thieves. Don't be discouraged if nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.
Glow worm
Legendary Member
- Location
- Near Newmarket
Worried about finding you car again when returning to the multi-storey car park? Simply let all your tyres down on arrival and look for the lowest car on return.
gaijintendo
Veteran
- Location
- Scotchland
Here are an assortment of my tweeted tips, curated for your good selves. Some are a bit dated, and some are not very VIZish:
SEX TIP: Learn to maintain an erection for prolonged periods by using 28.8k modems
If you are in a new relationship and nervous about saying "I love you", try burping the words.
Supermarket energy drinks are cheaper, and taste just as horrible as Red Bull
ReferendumTip: If you accidentally spoil your ballot paper, you're allowed to ask to try again. So have fun the first attempt.
(UPDATE check but this was true of the Indi Ref)
Freelancers: Try being PAIDlancers.
f at first you don't succeed, Try, try, try again. Unless you have forgotten your PIN number
If you start on your NaNoWriMo now, you might finish it on time!
The best way to defrost a frozen car lock is to lick it, and hold your tongue there for a while.
Save water: Wait until your dirty dishes are dry, then scrape the food off with a spoon!
ADDING Bailey's Irish Cream to your Shreddies makes your breakfast AND your first hour of work more enjoyable.
Make Haunted Hula Hoops by putting them in the fridge before eating. SPOOOOOOKY.
Watch Breaking Bad backwards to prevent other people ruining the ending for you.
Unsure the answer to the age old question "How many shakes is too many?" - just use a Dyson Airblade!
Governments: Avoid bad press for Drone Striking towns and villages by simply putting pilots in the planes.
If you need to remember a date in September/November/December just use the rhyme: Remember Remember The [N]th of [Month]ember
UPDATE: Not sure I know what I meant there.
Make your home unique by not buying furniture by IKEA.
SEX TIP: Learn to maintain an erection for prolonged periods by using 28.8k modems
If you are in a new relationship and nervous about saying "I love you", try burping the words.
Supermarket energy drinks are cheaper, and taste just as horrible as Red Bull
ReferendumTip: If you accidentally spoil your ballot paper, you're allowed to ask to try again. So have fun the first attempt.
(UPDATE check but this was true of the Indi Ref)
Freelancers: Try being PAIDlancers.
f at first you don't succeed, Try, try, try again. Unless you have forgotten your PIN number
If you start on your NaNoWriMo now, you might finish it on time!
The best way to defrost a frozen car lock is to lick it, and hold your tongue there for a while.
Save water: Wait until your dirty dishes are dry, then scrape the food off with a spoon!
ADDING Bailey's Irish Cream to your Shreddies makes your breakfast AND your first hour of work more enjoyable.
Make Haunted Hula Hoops by putting them in the fridge before eating. SPOOOOOOKY.
Watch Breaking Bad backwards to prevent other people ruining the ending for you.
Unsure the answer to the age old question "How many shakes is too many?" - just use a Dyson Airblade!
Governments: Avoid bad press for Drone Striking towns and villages by simply putting pilots in the planes.
If you need to remember a date in September/November/December just use the rhyme: Remember Remember The [N]th of [Month]ember
UPDATE: Not sure I know what I meant there.
Make your home unique by not buying furniture by IKEA.
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Fancy life as a yuppie but can't afford the Filofax? Fear not! All you need do is walk round with your cars service and handbook wallet in your hand, while shouting "buy when it drops fifty points" into a TV remote cradled betwixt neck and shoulder.
slowmotion
Quite dreadful
- Location
- lost somewhere
GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.
Glow worm
Legendary Member
- Location
- Near Newmarket
A short piece of gutter on a roller skate makes an ideal car for snakes.
Glow worm
Legendary Member
- Location
- Near Newmarket
Make your car look like a taxi (from a distance) by sellotaping a Wheatabix box to the roof.
Stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.
Cut along one edge of a tea bag and empty out the contents to make an ideal After Eight mint cosy.
By making a simple periscope out of toilet roll tubes and the lenses from an old pair of reflective sunglasses, it is possible to watch your tv from beneath your floorboards.
Don't waste money on expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to see.
Increase the life of your carpets by rolling them up and keeping them in your garage.
A bucket of water hung in a tree is an ideal nesting place for migrating seabirds.
[edit] I couldn't tell Mrs R the last one without collapsing into giggles.
Cut along one edge of a tea bag and empty out the contents to make an ideal After Eight mint cosy.
By making a simple periscope out of toilet roll tubes and the lenses from an old pair of reflective sunglasses, it is possible to watch your tv from beneath your floorboards.
Don't waste money on expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to see.
Increase the life of your carpets by rolling them up and keeping them in your garage.
A bucket of water hung in a tree is an ideal nesting place for migrating seabirds.
[edit] I couldn't tell Mrs R the last one without collapsing into giggles.
Last edited:
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Are you a Prime Minister? A bit worried about the next election?
Never fear!
Instruct thousands of your supporters to join your rival party and elect an escaped mental patient to be their leader, thus guaranteeing you years of challenge free dictatorship.
Never fear!
Instruct thousands of your supporters to join your rival party and elect an escaped mental patient to be their leader, thus guaranteeing you years of challenge free dictatorship.
