Share your Viz Comic top tips

[Bollo]

Pensioners! Irritated by the thousands of harressed working folk cluttering up Waitrose at peak times on Saturdays? Exact revenge by flaunting your triple-lock pension by only selecting wines from the wood shelves.

 

[Drago]

Pensioners. Fed up with smelling of boiled cabbage and wee wee?

Stop using Lynx then.

 

[raleighnut]

Fed up with paying for toilet paper, use your old copies of Viz, it's better than reading them again.

 

[slowmotion]

Convince people you own an Alfa Romeo by moving your licence plate a foot to one side and giving your disposable income to a mechanic.

 

[TVC]

Convince people you own an Alfa Romeo by moving your licence plate a foot to one side and giving your disposable income to a mechanic.

It's funny because it's true.

 

[TVC]

That is a window into your life we didn't need.

Mod note. Indeed.

 

[slowmotion]

It's funny because it's true.

I know. A few friends had Alfa Suds in the 80's. Not for long.

 

[TVC]

I know. A few friends had Alfa Suds in the 80's. Not for long.

As in the joke:

How do you get to own a bucket full of iron oxide?
Buy an Alfa Sud and wait six months.

 

[slowmotion]

As in the joke:

How do you get to own a bucket full of iron oxide?
Buy an Alfa Sud and wait six months.

They were enormous fun to drive. Shame about their wallet-voiding characteristics.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

You might have gone too far there.

Yeah I did, sorry.

 

[Markymark]

Make neighbours think you're a teacher by leaving work at lunchtime everyday and taking 4 months holiday a year.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Save money on doorbell batteries by removing them and getting up every three minutes to check if anyone's at the door.

 

[Drago]

Like annoying the neighbours? Then whenever you walk the dog take your Sky remote and switch off the neighbours TV as you walk past.

(I did this at a party once, and the host was getting really worked up, had his Leatherman out dismantling the Sky box before my giggles finally blew the gaff.)

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Convince your neighbour you have a bigger house than them by thumping loudly twice on each stair as you go up and down.

 

[Drago]

This is the best thread in ages. Mrs D has told me off for my childish tittering.