Short guide to womanese

[tyred]

 

[Globalti]

They forgot: "Just nipping to town" = "Going to scour the shops for hours and come home with all kinds of stuff I'll only wear once".

 

[Lazy-Commuter]

"Do what you want = You'll pay for this later". It took me ages to work that one out .. and didn't I pay later every single time until I did.

 

[Mr Pig]

Woman with a sense of humour? That's a good one! ;0)

 

[Amanda P]

I have some translations of my own.

I'm not going to post them, though, as the other half posts here too...

 

[John the Monkey]

Oh blimey.

 

[Lisa21]

 

[Davidc]

Surely there are alternatives for the meanings of some words?

E.G.

Yes = 1. No 2. Yes 3. Perhaps
No = 1. No 2. Yes 3. Perhaps
Maybe = 1. No 2. Yes 3. Perhaps

 

[TVC]

There are of course the list of hand grenade questions:

1. Do these trousers suit me?
2. Do you think my sister is attractive?
3. What are you thinking about?

The actual answers being:

1. No
2. Yes
3. Nothing

However, giving the real answer is the equivilant of pulling out the pin.

 

[Mr Pig]

3. What are you thinking about?

I hate being asked that. If you always say something really bad they stop asking.

 

[Davidc]

I hate being asked that. If you always say something really bad they stop asking.

The answer being: "I'm male, so sex every 30 seconds and something trivial in between".

 

[Beardie]

Nobody's mentioned the ultimate 'hand grenade' question, which is: "How do you see this relationship?"

Guaranteed to be the question to which there is no possible correct answer.

Yes, still single, thanks for asking...

 

[XmisterIS]

3. What are you thinking about?

"Legions upon legions of jack-booted, black-uniformed, heavily-armed storm troopers marching at my command through the streets of every city in the World, striking terror into those who witness them, demanding obedience to me, the Great Totalitarian Imperial Leader! (aka The Grand Poobah). Oh and you, my pretty one, you shall be my Empress!"

That usually shuts 'em up!

 

[Archie_tect]

That would shut anybody up XMrIS... how long have you had these thoughts?

 

[XmisterIS]

That would shut anybody up XMrIS... how long have you had these thoughts?

Oh my ... oh yes ... many, many years! ... plans, I have ... great plans! ... my precious ... we likes the precious ....

(cue evil cackling, insane grinning and rubbing of hands).