Show us your decent bike disguised as a crappy bike.

[wafter]

The point about making it look like a rubbish bike is really just based on the concept of

this bike is rubbish - take that one

so it does depend on there being other bikes very close
hence the point that even though all locks that are portable can be broken - but why would a thief spend time breaking a U-lock
when someone has left a bike next to it with a cable lock that they can break with a cutter in 1 second


and also the idea that the actual thieves are normally not clever people and do not know much about bikes

If you have a clever, knowledgeable well equipped thief with the time needed
then that is what you have insurance for

for the normal type - looking rubbish and being next to a nice clean pretty bike is the best protection

I think your average scumbag can be put into one of two catagories:

- Career thief - knowledgeable about their target, skillful and well equipped - looking for high value stuff to punt on
- Opportunist - less accomplished in all the above, just looking for something to use themselves or maybe flog down the pub / swap for smack

With the career thief the stakes are higher as they'll be after more expensive gear, while being equipped to defeat better security. Conversely your opportunist has much lower standards.

The principal of "best security, worst aesthetic" holds true for both; however reactions to stuff at both extremes of the value range will likely differ - a career thief won't bother with a next-to-worthless-but-functional bike with zero security while this is a gift for the opportunist; while the opportunist won't recognise a high-end bike with mediocre security, or even bother because they lack the knowledge and / or tools required to defeat said security.

 

[FrankCrank]

The bike I leave in town for many hours is a vintage Raleigh Stowaway, which cost a tenner.
The U-lock cost twelve quid, a top quality MuddyFox no less, from Sports Direct
I've still got a few more in the shed, in the unlikely event it got nicked, the bike that is, hope they leave the lock.
Learned my lesson a few years back when I had a B'Twin folder stolen in town, that one I splashed out a full 50 quid for, so the scrotes in Reading have a low threshold it seems.

 

[Punkawallah]

The nice boys at Cade Media did some tests on locks. Todays battery operated grinder went through them all in under a minute, iirc, bar one. That one resisted to the point of blunting the saw - at which point the testers cut through the frame.

 

[Nollaig]

When you want to ride a good bike and park it anywhere without attracting the attention of thieving scumbags you disguise it as a 'sh!tter'.

Mine came to me as a £35 knackered old mid nineties Marin Kentfield. I took the paint off and my parts bin, ebay and my local bike recycling jount supplied the upgrades. It's geared low enough to tow a trailer.

View attachment 774941

Love the bike. In actual

When you want to ride a good bike and park it anywhere without attracting the attention of thieving scumbags you disguise it as a 'sh!tter'.

Mine came to me as a £35 knackered old mid nineties Marin Kentfield. I took the paint off and my parts bin, ebay and my local bike recycling jount supplied the upgrades. It's geared low enough to tow a trailer.

View attachment 774941

 

[Nollaig]

Love it.
In truth i used to restore motor bikes . My favourite one was my MZ. I "ratted" it, for the uninitiated think mad max, and went to a bike rally and didn't even enter but won a custom bike award! my mate entered me for a laugh. Matt black, panniers were ammunition boxes etc.
But thats the first "rat" bicycle ive seen well done. I was tempted to do a rat again but seems i was beaten to it lol. Remember the ratbikers saying "Chrome wont get you home!" i often thought was that a jab at the harley boys, ill never know lol. You've started the cogs whiring lol. Well done Mickle

Noel🐀

 

[DCLane]

This was the principle behind my son's bikes at university. Both the orange Carlton Corsa and the single speed kid's Spesh Hotrock conversion were designed to look so bad as to not be a theft option.

As in: "just what is that? I won't steal it 'cos I can't sell it" type thinking (it now sports an orange chain to go with the orange pedals). Apparently after three years' at university a lot of the paint has flaked off, which makes it even less attractive:

And this: "I won't be seen knicking a kid's bike AND just what is that saddle?":

 

[N0bodyOfTheGoat]

And this: "I won't be seen knicking a kid's bike AND just what is that saddle?":

It's a Tioga Spyder, or knock-off version!

 

[Nollaig]

Thats a lotta orange....why am i hearing "you know when you've been tango'ed!" ........god im oul

 

[raleighnut]

This was the principle behind my son's bikes at university. Both the orange Carlton Corsa and the single speed kid's Spesh Hotrock conversion were designed to look so bad as to not be a theft option.

As in: "just what is that? I won't steal it 'cos I can't sell it" type thinking (it now sports an orange chain to go with the orange pedals). Apparently after three years' at university a lot of the paint has flaked off, which makes it even less attractive:

View attachment 775065

And this: "I won't be seen knicking a kid's bike AND just what is that saddle?":

View attachment 775066

I've got a 'Jump' bike set up similar, custom handmade (well turned on a lathe) seatpost 600mm long. Looked a bit like that until I fitted a 'Crud' guard mudguard about a 3rd down the post that fills the void nicely

 

[fossyant]

That doesn't qualify. It's not sh!t enough.

Sorry.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

The nice boys at Cade Media did some tests on locks. Todays battery operated grinder went through them all in under a minute, iirc, bar one. That one resisted to the point of blunting the saw - at which point the testers cut through the frame.

I have seen a few photos where they have just cut the stand
not all of then have a good core that is supposed to resist things

and I have seen some that seem to be held down with bolts that could be unscrewed easily

 

[Yellow Saddle]

Don't have a bike that looks crappy and am not fussed about having one. I want to have nice things.
And due to not being on a bike at all from teenage years until my fifties I have zero nostalgia for legacy tech and how things were "better" in some unspecified golden age.

I'm fortunate to lock my commuter bike in a reasonably safe location and I rely for security on minimising risk exposure (location and/or time), good locks and good insurance.

I do wonder if the benefit is more placebo than deterrent. You're not going to convincingly disguise a really good bike as a shitter IMHO. Maybe you'd put off the crack head opportunist but so would a good lock; they're looking for easy pickings. The semi pro tealeaf would see through rust paint and stickers in a heartbeat.

Anyway, here's my "rattiest" bike, a 2019 Giant Escape 2 Disc which doesn't really qualify as it's way too clean.

View attachment 775050

And here's my oldest bike, a Spesh Roubaix Sport, which absolutely does NOT qualify!

View attachment 775051

I'd steal that but leave the bar tape floating in the nearest river.

 

[Yellow Saddle]

70’s Dawes (Fox?) frame, to flat bar, brake calliper cable adjusters on the down tube shifter bosses to enable trigger shifters on the bars. Used as a ‘hack’ for back and forth to town. Shimano SIS gears and six speed block, steel chain set, Weinmann wheels and 730 calipers, Selle Italia saddle. It will outlive me, at least.

View attachment 775016

I'll streal that but leave the stem behind.

 

[Yellow Saddle]

I've got several but here is a piccy of the Raleigh,looks nothing to thieving scrotes but is mechanically perfect

Equipe

• raleighnut
• 18 May 2016

I'll steal the lot but donate the bar tape to the local oxidised polymer research facility and the abomination on the back to the local make-a-old-lady-shopping-cart-from-old-shoot-tuesday-meeting-charity

 

[Yellow Saddle]

Very nice - love all the utility adornments and the low-key aesthetics (even if I question losing the original paint as this is usually more durable than DIY stuff).

However, I'd file that more under "unassuming" that "shitter"; it looks tidy, just not necessarily expensive / worth robbing to punt on given the unfashionable bits.. although that said I think the understated paint and format almost makes it look worth more than it likely is. Regardless I'd still be looking at a decent lock as the sleeper aesthetic won't stop the smackheads robbing it to chase their dealers all over town..

I'd rate that on the same level as my Fuji - undesirable to the career-thief but not something I'd leave locked up for more than half an hour or so while I nip into the shops.


The only one of mine I'd leave locked up for a long period of time (i.e. all day while I'm miles away) would be the Routier; and that's only because it's obviously old and worth next to nothing.. although I only got this because it had been nicked and dumped so it was obviously sufficiently appealing to some lightfingered scumbag. Hopefully the decent D-lock and cable through the wheels are more than had to be overcome to liberate it from its previous legitimate owner..

View attachment 774992


I'm still looking for ideas of how to "rat-look" my CdF 20 Flat Bar - which is obviously a fairly pricey bike, and will have more pricey bits hanging off it by the time it gets any practical use.. This will be a challenge as it'll be by far the most minty / expensive bike I'll have tasked myself with leaving locked up and is going to take some serious anxiety management if it's ot be used as a proper utility hack..

View attachment 774993




Interesting you say that as my Routier (which I believe is the same frame) is a bit of a bone shaker - however this could just be down to the saddle and bar tape..

I'd steal that just in case there's some EPO in that bottle but dump the rest in a schenic canal where swans nest.