Show us your decent bike disguised as a crappy bike.

[Yellow Saddle]

This was the principle behind my son's bikes at university. Both the orange Carlton Corsa and the single speed kid's Spesh Hotrock conversion were designed to look so bad as to not be a theft option.

As in: "just what is that? I won't steal it 'cos I can't sell it" type thinking (it now sports an orange chain to go with the orange pedals). Apparently after three years' at university a lot of the paint has flaked off, which makes it even less attractive:

View attachment 775065

And this: "I won't be seen knicking a kid's bike AND just what is that saddle?":

View attachment 775066

I'll steal that orange thing to make an Trump sculpture from "found" metal. Then I'll steal the Spez and use the saddle in said sculpure after dumping the bike sans saddle in an old lady's front garden behind the three wheelie bins on the fake lawn in front of her semi.

 

[DCLane]

Thats a lotta orange....why am i hearing "you know when you've been tango'ed!" ........god im oul

And it looks far worse in the flesh. This was it being time-trialled at a charity event in 2023:

Don't blame me, blame my then 14yo when I gave him free reign to restore it as a first project. The Spesh Hotrock then followed.

 

[Yellow Saddle]

Very nice - love all the utility adornments and the low-key aesthetics (even if I question losing the original paint as this is usually more durable than DIY stuff).

However, I'd file that more under "unassuming" that "shitter"; it looks tidy, just not necessarily expensive / worth robbing to punt on given the unfashionable bits.. although that said I think the understated paint and format almost makes it look worth more than it likely is. Regardless I'd still be looking at a decent lock as the sleeper aesthetic won't stop the smackheads robbing it to chase their dealers all over town..

I'd rate that on the same level as my Fuji - undesirable to the career-thief but not something I'd leave locked up for more than half an hour or so while I nip into the shops.


The only one of mine I'd leave locked up for a long period of time (i.e. all day while I'm miles away) would be the Routier; and that's only because it's obviously old and worth next to nothing.. although I only got this because it had been nicked and dumped so it was obviously sufficiently appealing to some lightfingered scumbag. Hopefully the decent D-lock and cable through the wheels are more than had to be overcome to liberate it from its previous legitimate owner..

View attachment 774992


I'm still looking for ideas of how to "rat-look" my CdF 20 Flat Bar - which is obviously a fairly pricey bike, and will have more pricey bits hanging off it by the time it gets any practical use.. This will be a challenge as it'll be by far the most minty / expensive bike I'll have tasked myself with leaving locked up and is going to take some serious anxiety management if it's ot be used as a proper utility hack..

View attachment 774993




Interesting you say that as my Routier (which I believe is the same frame) is a bit of a bone shaker - however this could just be down to the saddle and bar tape

Very nice - love all the utility adornments and the low-key aesthetics (even if I question losing the original paint as this is usually more durable than DIY stuff).

However, I'd file that more under "unassuming" that "shitter"; it looks tidy, just not necessarily expensive / worth robbing to punt on given the unfashionable bits.. although that said I think the understated paint and format almost makes it look worth more than it likely is. Regardless I'd still be looking at a decent lock as the sleeper aesthetic won't stop the smackheads robbing it to chase their dealers all over town..

I'd rate that on the same level as my Fuji - undesirable to the career-thief but not something I'd leave locked up for more than half an hour or so while I nip into the shops.


The only one of mine I'd leave locked up for a long period of time (i.e. all day while I'm miles away) would be the Routier; and that's only because it's obviously old and worth next to nothing.. although I only got this because it had been nicked and dumped so it was obviously sufficiently appealing to some lightfingered scumbag. Hopefully the decent D-lock and cable through the wheels are more than had to be overcome to liberate it from its previous legitimate owner..

View attachment 774992


I'm still looking for ideas of how to "rat-look" my CdF 20 Flat Bar - which is obviously a fairly pricey bike, and will have more pricey bits hanging off it by the time it gets any practical use.. This will be a challenge as it'll be by far the most minty / expensive bike I'll have tasked myself with leaving locked up and is going to take some serious anxiety management if it's ot be used as a proper utility hack..

View attachment 774993




Interesting you say that as my Routier (which I believe is the same frame) is a bit of a bone shaker - however this could just be down to the saddle and bar tape..

..I'll use up a dozen cutting discs to cut through the Kryhptonite lock protecting that purple abomination. Then dpnate it to the first Pride Parade that passes by.

 

[Jameshow]

This was the principle behind my son's bikes at university. Both the orange Carlton Corsa and the single speed kid's Spesh Hotrock conversion were designed to look so bad as to not be a theft option.

As in: "just what is that? I won't steal it 'cos I can't sell it" type thinking (it now sports an orange chain to go with the orange pedals). Apparently after three years' at university a lot of the paint has flaked off, which makes it even less attractive:

View attachment 775065

And this: "I won't be seen knicking a kid's bike AND just what is that saddle?":

View attachment 775066

Is that Carlton a trump special edition?!🤣

Edited beaten to the trump line!

 

[I like Skol]

and don't wash it.....ever.............

I win...... Period. What's the prize?

 

[fritz katzenjammer]

2023 Trek Domane AL2. So it was a roadbike… Alloy mudguards, rack, Soma mountain bike bars, Brooks saddle, Growtac brakes, 1972 Dura Ace rear derailleur, friction shifters

 

[Punkawallah]

I'll streal that but leave the stem behind.

Stem’s a Sakae Ringyo Hi-rise - wanted the ‘relaxed’ bar position.

 

[Drago]

I like my bikes to look their best, so I take other measures to deter theft.


View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yIlmzeRSvxQ&pp=ygUPYmFpdCBiaWtlIHByYW5r

 

[Jameshow]

I like my bikes to look their best, so I take other measures to deter theft.


View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yIlmzeRSvxQ&pp=ygUPYmFpdCBiaWtlIHByYW5r

Not funny when it's your cx bike with no brakes down Poole bank!😭🤕😳

 

[Drago]

Yes, one must remember to reconnect the brakes and disconnect the 200 feet long padlock cable before riding!

 

[raleighnut]

I'll steal the lot but donate the bar tape to the local oxidised polymer research facility and the abomination on the back to the local make-a-old-lady-shopping-cart-from-old-shoot-tuesday-meeting-charity

Just a couple of points;

Bar tape is cloth
The Saddlebag is Carradice's 'top of the range', a Camper Longflap handcrafted in Nelson Lancashire by Sue and onsale today for £130 new

Surprised you made no comment about the Brooks B5n saddle....................A vintage 60's model.

 

[Yellow Saddle]

Just a couple of points;

Bar tape is cloth
The Saddlebag is Carradice's 'top of the range', a Camper Longflap handcrafted in Nelson Lancashire by Sue and onsale today for £130 new

Surprised you made no comment about the Brooks B5n saddle....................A vintage 60's model.

OK, then, you asked for it.

The bar tape is clearly stolen off a mummy in a museum in Egypt and cunningly smuggled over the border by bike.
I'll steal the saddle just to go and bolt it to that saddle-less bike locked up at the train station in Glasgow.
As for the Carradice dog tent thing on the back...I'll steal it to show my leatherwork students how not to sew.
I'll keep the frame though...It can be used to show people how important it is to be sober when choosing colours.

 

[raleighnut]

OK, then, you asked for it.

The bar tape is clearly stolen off a mummy in a museum in Egypt and cunningly smuggled over the border by bike.
I'll steal the saddle just to go and bolt it to that saddle-less bike locked up at the train station in Glasgow.
As for the Carradice dog tent thing on the back...I'll steal it to show my leatherwork students how not to sew.
I'll keep the frame though...It can be used to show people how important it is to be sober when choosing colours.

You obviously have no appreciation of Nottingham's finest.

Not to mention missing the point of this thread entirely.....................My longest trip on that bike is 160 miles in a day up to Monyash in Derbyshire for a couple of pints in the 'Bulls head' then back home. It would take an expert to spot the handlaced wheels on reconditioned (by me) late 70's Maillard 'wide flange' hubs shod with Continental super sport tyres, OK the Ultegra HT2 crank and 105 gs mech are indications of quality but it was built to be ridden................not looked at.

Oh and the BLACK Tressorex bar tape was due to be changed (I've got 2 rolls in my cupboard ready) but I decided I liked the way it had faded and worn (bit like old jeans) so left it

 

[Ming the Merciless]

 

[Punkawallah]

View attachment 775275

I’d have it. 26” wheels with road tyres, strip the impedimenta and grease the bearings, off you go.