Slowly becoming too afraid to ride.

[Ganymede]

Possibly there is a bit of PTSD. I'm generally pretty resilient, but I guess these things weasel there way in without you knowing.

I think it's very easy, if you are used to thinking of yourself as "pretty resilient", to be a bit reluctant to admit - or slow to notice - that something has really got under your skin. I want to say "don't beat yourself up about not being as resilient as you thought", but I think you probably know the truth of that already.

 

[Sara_H]

I think it's very easy, if you are used to thinking of yourself as "pretty resilient", to be a bit reluctant to admit - or slow to notice - that something has really got under your skin. I want to say "don't beat yourself up about not being as resilient as you thought", but I think you probably know the truth of that already.

I recognised quite quickly that the "violent assault" part if it has had an effect.
I absolutely don't like being around strange men anymore. One chap hot too close to me and b and q a couple of weeks ago, scared the shoot out of me!

 

[Saluki]

I've never liked being around strange men so know what you mean. I'm also getting a bit windy on my bike of late. The city drivers are bigger knobheads than the county drivers. I go on cycle paths when I can as I've had a couple of rather too close passes of late. One was a driving school car with no passenger, so it must have been the instructor. Sadly, I didn't get the name on the car or I would have rung and complained.

I shall persist though even though I am especially not keen on going out after dark at the moment.

 

[vickster]

I agree with the others about the PTSD and seeking counselling. Talk to your GP.

Although my accident was purely that, it did come at a very stressful time for me (I was 3 weeks into a new job after being in the old one for 13 years, then the surgery, pain, the realisation that actually I had been both unlucky and lucky etc on top all became too much to deal with). I completely lost my confidence (not cycling, generally). I was sleeping badly which in turn made me more stressed, tearful, bad tempered, so I went to see my GP. Counselling was recommended (I was referred on the NHS but due to the long wait I went privately as I have cover). I had 6 sessions, whether I would have got through it anyhow I can't say, but I do think it helped to talk to someone totally unconnected to me (of course I did speak to friends but I don't think I have ever opened up completely). Now it's dark so early, I am finding it really hard to ride in traffic on roads,especially those I don't know. Indeed, I was in London last week with @jefmcg and essentially had a panic attack once it got dark, heavy traffic, lots of peds, various roads closed etc and ended up dragging her back on the train! I think I may need some more help as it's not going to be light in the evenings for months to come

I hope you are able to get some help to work through it, but don't beat yourself up over it. Maybe cycle with others, cycle off road, even have a break off the bike for the winter

 

[shouldbeinbed]

Possibly there is a bit of PTSD. I'm generally pretty resilient, but I guess these things weasel there way in without you knowing.
Practically speaking, for me there's no getting away from the fact that when I'm on the road my life is entirely dependant on drivers, driving properly. And the evidence of my own eyes is telling me that a large number of drivers aren't driving properly.

You really should be talking to your GP or Occy Health. Even if you think it is a waste of time and you don't need it and we're all just a bunch of nannying internet warriors who don't get it. PLEASE go and speak to them.

 

[cyberknight]

I hope you get "Better" soon ,as others have mentioned with regards to you fears of men.As for riding is there anyone friends,family, British cycling rides,kind hearted CC members or a bikeability course you could try to give you confidence again?
I know my close encounter the other day was not in the same league but I felt I needed to get on the bike the next day even in the rain to keep my confidence from slipping.

 

[Racing roadkill]

I've been riding most of my adult life.
I have to say, until I started following road safety/cycle groups I had no idea about cycle craft etc.
I'm now more and more aware of the risks of riding on the road. To the point where I don't if I can help it.
I've carefully refined my most used routes and I use mostly local parks and shared use routes. Very little is on roads and I ride illegally on the pavement if I don't like the look of the road conditions.
Even on quiet roads I feel stressed every time a car passes me, due to the frequency of close passes, road rage etc.
I only ride routes I'm familiar with, if I go to other towns and cities I don't ride as I find it difficult to find quiet, safe routes.
I now haven't ridden with my son since I was knocked over in July. I just daren't put him in danger, he's too precious to me. We used to ride everywhere, but I now take the bus if I'm travelling with him.
Don't know what the answer is. Move to the Netherlands? I probably would if I could.

Getting knocked off the bike sucks. If you don't put the experience to bed ( forget about it, and get back out there) you will find it starts to eat away at your confidence. That's the top of a very slippery slope. Cycling is a risky business, you just have to accept the risks, and do as much as you can to minimise them (prior planning, watch the weather forecasts, plan the route and stick to it etc.) Try to put the bad experience behind you, and get back out there.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Hi Sara, sorry to hear about your cycling troubles
There has been already some excellent advice posted earlier, nothing I can add to that.

I have to say, until I started following road safety/cycle groups I had no idea about cycle craft etc.
I'm now more and more aware of the risks of riding on the road.

Yes, can relate to this: I remember when I was riding home after my bikability 3 lesson, trying to implement it.
Immediately got beeped at for being in primary on a narrow road with parked cars on both sides, felt like getting off the bike and start crying!
Your attack was much more severe, no wonder you are extra alert to danger.
For certain one can only experience similar just the once in a cycling lifetime!
Our minds work in strange ways: a couple of weeks ago a lady in my group lost control of her bike on wet leaves on a path, her injuries were quite bad.
Since then, I try to avoid the river path, even though I know the reason of her fall, and I know that it probably will never happen to me, still, I'm now apprehensive when I ride a traffic free route.
You'll get over your fears in time ... with a little help.
Btw, I ride the pavement sometimes too

 

[buggi]

Right I've come in a bit late to this and not been around much, but am I right in thinking someone ran you over deliberately? If I am, think of it this way....

If you got attacked walking home would it come as any surprise to you if it affected you for months, if not years after? Would you be surprised if you didn't like walking the same route or even didn't like going out on your own. No of course it wouldn't be a surprise.

So why is this any different? Assault with a car is as bad as assault with any other weapon. Stop being so hard on yourself and see your GP and ask him to refer you to a counsellor.

 

[classic33]

Playing devils advocate for this part.
Given that you're now in the process of settling the claim, do you think it might be taken as you overplaying the impact this incident has had on you?

 

[classic33]

Right I've come in a bit late to this and not been around much, but am I right in thinking someone ran you over deliberately? If I am, think of it this way....

If you got attacked walking home would it come as any surprise to you if it affected you for months, if not years after? Would you be surprised if you didn't like walking the same route or even didn't like going out on your own. No of course it wouldn't be a surprise.

So why is this any different? Assault with a car is as bad as assault with any other weapon. Stop being so hard on yourself and see your GP and ask him to refer you to a counsellor.

It should by rights be treated in the same way. Sadly I don't think it will.

And telling someone just to get back on their bike and carry on as before, seems to be normal these days. Easy say when its not you involved.

 

[buggi]

It should by rights be treated in the same way. Sadly I don't think it will.

And telling someone just to get back on their bike and carry on as before, seems to be normal these days. Easy say when its not you involved.

Exactly. Having someone drive at you maliciously is a whole different kettle of fish to someone clipping you because they are careless. It adds a new dimension to your fear.

 

[classic33]

However contact comes about, you become aware, acutely, of your surroundings.
That's why it should be treated the same as any assault on a person. After the fact.

 

[Accy cyclist]

From my experience you're more likely to come off your bike riding on shared paths,pavements and canal paths etc than on the open road. Don't let the bastids force cyclists off the roads!

 

[classic33]

From my experience you're more likely to come off your bike riding on shared paths,pavements and canal paths etc than on the open road. Don't let the bastids force cyclists off the roads!

The differance here is this was a deliberate act, that caused the problems now being faced.
This wasn't a near miss or a fail to see.