So.......

[Salty seadog]

I'm nearly 45, my mother who is only just 64 has been given her death sentence . Incurable but treatable they say.

She continues to cook an evening meal of absurd quality. For other reasons I am again living with my parents.

I don't want them to die.

 

[Corky Cyclist]

Here's a <hug> and best wishes to your parents. This will be a difficult time.

My late father was diagnosed with incurable bladder cancer 10 years before he died. Actually it was his dodgy heart that killed him - but those 10 years were happy years even though he went through some awful procedures and a series of inpatient stays.

It'll be hard, but make the most of the time. Cancer sufferers need love but don't want smothering. Your mum will need someone to talk it through with. Make sure your friends and family support you too.

 

[Salty seadog]

Here's a <hug> and best wishes to your parents. This will be a difficult time.

My late father was diagnosed with incurable bladder cancer 10 years before he died. Actually it was his dodgy heart that killed him - but those 10 years were happy years even though he went through some awful procedures and a series of inpatient stays.

It'll be hard, but make the most of the time. Cancer sufferers need love but don't want smothering. Your mum will need someone to talk it through with. Make sure your friends and family support you too.

Thank you.

 

[Dave7]

Salty. I do feel for you and indeed anyone in a similar situation.
I have posted this thought before but when I was diagnosed with bladder cancer, aged approx 65, my first thought was "well I've had a bloody good life. But if I win this battle something else will eventually get me".
I think most 'older' people are philosophical about death and would not want you worrying too much.
Easier said than done I know.

 

[alicat]

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Trite but true.

Sounds like it could be time to learn to cook like your mum.

 

[tom73]

I won’t lie it won’t be easy going. Remember she is still here and you still have time together. Enjoy the good days and try to get though the bad in the best way you can. You will have days when you just can’t or don’t want to deal with things. That’s ok your not super human and you need to look after yourself too. Your mum and dad will understand and know you still need some me time.

Take help from who or how you you can when you need it. No one can tell you how long you have try not to focus on that. Talk to them make good memories so when things get dark you have something good to look back on. Take the lead from her and your dad if she is happy and want to try and make the best of it then do it.

Above all like I said look after yourself and if you need time out take it. Only you know what helps you deal with things. If you feel you real can’t deal with it then find some help even if it’s a quick coffee or pint with a mate. It all helps.

Take one day at time or you will go nuts and start thinking all sorts and what if’s.

 

[raleighnut]

I'm nearly 45, my mother who is only just 64 has been given her death sentence . Incurable but treatable they say.

She continues to cook an evening meal of absurd quality. For other reasons I am again living with my parents.

I don't want them to die.

 

[Salty seadog]

I won’t lie it won’t be easy going. Remember she is still here and you still have time together. Enjoy the good days and try to get though the bad in the best way you can. You will have days when you just can’t or don’t want to deal with things. That’s ok your not super human and you need to look after yourself too. Your mum and dad will understand and know you still need some me time.

Take help from who or how you you can when you need it. No one can tell you how long you have try not to focus on that. Talk to them make good memories so when things get dark you have something good to look back on. Take the lead from her and your dad if she is happy and want to try and make the best of it then do it.

Above all like I said look after yourself and if you need time out take it. Only you know what helps you deal with things. If you feel you real can’t deal with it then find some help even if it’s a quick coffee or pint with a mate. It all helps.

Take one day at time or you will go nuts and start thinking all sorts and what if’s.

Thank you. Really.

 

[Vantage]

Sorry to learn of this

 

[tom73]

Any time I’ve sadly had the T-shirt twice.

Take care @Salty seadog

 

[EltonFrog]

Good heavens, you’re mum was young when she had you. I’m very sorry to hear your news, it’s bloody awful and you’ve some tough times ahead I’m afraid, all you can do is muster all your strength an be supportive.

My mother died at 48, I was a naive 23 year old I didn’t handle it very well.

 

[Salty seadog]

Good heavens, you’re mum was young when she had you. I’m very sorry to hear your news, it’s bloody awful and you’ve some tough times ahead I’m afraid, all you can do is muster all your strength an be supportive.

My mother died at 48, I was a naive 23 year old I didn’t handle it very well.

Thank you Carl. My folks were 19 and 21 and a half years old when I was born .I've always comforted myself with the fact we're close.

I guess it's reality

 

[mudsticks]

I'm nearly 45, my mother who is only just 64 has been given her death sentence . Incurable but treatable they say.

She continues to cook an evening meal of absurd quality. For other reasons I am again living with my parents.

I don't want them to die.

Of course you don't want them to die, it's shocking news for anyone to hear, but it's an inevitability that comes to us all.
I lost my father when I was thirty, my ma only last year.. Both to cancer - its an arse of a disease for sure.

It does, in some ways, also make you get on with living too.

But as everyone else has said, go easy on yourself, and do it your way.

It used to be expected that you'd stay all stiff upper lip, nowadays it's almost seen as poor form not to be emoting all over the place - but there is no 'right' way to do this.

Take your cues from your mum she'd probably rather go on 'living with cancer' rather than focusing on the end?

And yes maybe you could pick up some cooking tips from her - I'd imagine she would love to pass her knowledge and skills on.

And doing things together, is such a good way of having natural conversations.

Don't forget lots of bike rides too tho - they nearly always help boost your mood!

 

[Cycleops]

It's good that you have this chance to live with her and help, many don't. The prognosis is hard to live with but oft times the medical establishment get it wrong. You just have to play it as it comes.
I wish you and her the best.

 

[Salty seadog]

Of course you don't want them to die, it's shocking news for anyone to hear, but it's an inevitability that comes to us all.
I lost my father when I was thirty, my ma only last year.. Both to cancer - its an arse of a disease for sure.

It does, in some ways, also make you get on with living too.

But as everyone else has said, go easy on yourself, and do it your way.

It used to be expected that you'd stay all stiff upper lip, nowadays it's almost seen as poor form not to be emoting all over the place - but there is no 'right' way to do this.

Take your cues from your mum she'd probably rather go on 'living with cancer' rather than focusing on the end?

And yes maybe you could pick up some cooking tips from her - I'd imagine she would love to pass her knowledge and skills on.

And doing things together, is such a good way of having natural conversations.

Don't forget lots of bike rides too tho - they nearly always help boost your mood!

I really thank you.