Somehow I knew it was going to be a bad day

Bigtallfatbloke

New Member
On the way to town this morning, rear-ended a car.

Somehow I knew it was going to be a bad day.

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf...

He looked at his dented car and then looked up at me and said... "I'm not happy"

I said, "Well, which one are you then?"
 

SamNichols

New Member
Location
Colne, Lancs
Is this a joke, or did it actually happen?
 
I went to the doctor's about a problem I have.

I told him that I have a $hit every morning at 7:00.

He said that that was excellent, it shows that my bowel movement is regular and consistent.

I explained to him that I don't wake up until 7:30!

Sorry! :biggrin:
 

graham56

Guru
Dayvo said:
I went to the doctor's about a problem I have.

I told him that I have a $hit every morning at 7:00.

He said that that was excellent, it shows that my bowel movement is regular and consistent.

I explained to him that I don't wake up until 7:30!

Sorry! :biggrin:
:biggrin::eek::sad:
 
longers said:
Getting a new alarm clock for Christmas then Davyo?
Nah, just LOTS of new sheets! :biggrin:

I assume you knew I was joking! :biggrin:
 

strofiwimple

Veteran
Location
sunderland
Two cowboys were discussing their favourite sexual positions 1st one says

"the rodeo is definitely the best- no doubt" Never heard of that one says

the other- how does it go. Well...... you take your wife from behind then

lean forward, cup her breasts and whisper in her ear "these feel just

like your sisters" Then try to hold on for ten seconds.
 

Fnaar

Smutmaster General
Location
Thumberland
I went to the doctor the other day, I told him it hurts when I raise my arm above shoulder level. Well don't do it then, he replied (with apologies to Tommy cooper who did it much betterly, with actions etc!)
 
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