Splitting the bill

[slowmotion]

We don't eat out a whole lot but we have a rough idea of which friends might be short of money and none of us would ever let them feel out of pocket. By and large, we split evenly. I don't want to go out for a meal and spend my time conducting some kind of forensic audit. It spoils the evening.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I'm glad I don't eat with bill inspectors, that delightful post-meal autopsy of percentages and pennies and "who had what" has to be the most soul sucking experience ever. I can't abide it and I don't go out with people who spoil a meal like that.
Bill of 200 quid between 4? Easy, chuck in 60 and be done with it. I don't care if someone had two wines to my one, or that someone had dessert and I didn't. Jeez. It's supposed to be fun, don't suck the life out of it.

If on the other hand you have friends who are going to treat a relaxed, social meal as a subsidised bender and a menu hoover of the most expensive items, then you need to get new friends. I won't eat with people like that either.

The average spend of the rest of them works out £44, quite a difference from £20. It’s not even ball park. If an evenly split bill comes out ballpark for everyone then great. Not so in the example given.

 

[slowmotion]

If you go out for a meal fully prepared to make it a socio-economic obstacle course, you are unlikely to be disappointed. Sometimes you might be up on the bill, sometimes you might be down. If it matters that much to you, you probably won't enjoy yourself.

 

[CanucksTraveller]

The average spend of the rest of them works out £44, quite a difference from £20. It’s not even ball park. If an evenly split bill comes out ballpark for everyone then great. Not so in the example given.

I'm chucking in an extra tenner more so the wait staff don't get stiffed. Which they always do when people bugger about with calculators in the pursuit of paying not a penny more than what they've consumed. Like I say I don't care what the average / mean is, so long as the bill is covered, and I don't eat with people who get a slide rule out to ruin the end of the meal with arguments over loose change caused by Janet's dessert costing more than Arthur's starter. Jesus, life is too short.

 

[slowmotion]

I'm chucking in an extra tenner more so the wait staff don't get stiffed. Which they always do when people bugger about with calculators in the pursuit of paying not a penny more than what they've consumed. Like I say I don't care what the average / mean is, so long as the bill is covered, and I don't eat with people who get a slide rule out to ruin the end of the meal with arguments over loose change caused by Janet's dessert costing more than Arthur's starter. Jesus, life is too short.

Quite so. My friends stopped doing that sometime in their early twenties.

 

[Saluki]

Totally with the lady.
Once out at a Chinese restaurant, not drinking as I was a designated driver, I had ‘the vegetarian special Set meal’, which was £21 including a soft drink (more with alcohol). Apart from the other designated driver, everyone else had quite a lot of alcohol, extra portions of things, more alcohol, pudding, coffee etc. The 11 way split was £39 and change per person.
I stuck to my guns and said £21 was all I was paying. When the furore began I suggested that I put my £21 in the pile and went home and anyone in my car who argued with me could walk home, or get a cab/bus or rickshaw for all I cared. The other driver quickly totted up his meal and his wasn’t that much more than mine and took my side. There was much grumbling on the way back about cheap nights out, not paying way etc

Why should anyone pay a vast amount more when bill splitting? If it’s a close call, all well and fine, if a vast discrepancy, it’s unfair.

Just to add, I put money in the tip tin on the way out. I didn’t want to shortchange the waiting staff.

 

[si_c]

I dislike it when people insist on paying for just what they've eaten or drunk, it's annoying and invariably when alcohol is involved the total that people think they should pay doesn't add up to the total at the end of the bill. When out with friends it's much better and/or fairer to just split the bill evenly.

The exception to this rule is twofold, firstly not everyone in my group of friends is in the same financial position, a meal out costing £40 for me is not a huge issue, but for at least two of my friends it is. They invariably eat less and don't drink as much if at all so I find it horrifying that some would insist they split the bill evenly, they can't afford it and would simply not come out if that was the expectation.

Similarly with alcohol - expecting non drinkers to pay for the alcohol consumption of the group is unfair, as noted above alcohol can come to significantly more than the cost of the food. I've been at meals where some haven't been drinking but at the same time half the group has been downing cocktails and wine at great speed, it's just plain rude to expect others to pay for it.

 

[slowmotion]

A bit off-topic, but why do some people object to paying for drinks but seem unconcerned about subsidising other people's expensive food?

 

[vickster]

A bit off-topic, but why do some people object to paying for drinks but seem unconcerned about subsidising other people's expensive food?

One of my friends (who likes decent wine in large glasses) always has another glass of wine instead of pud, so more or less evens out!

 

[classic33]

A bit off-topic, but why do some people object to paying for drinks but seem unconcerned about subsidising other people's expensive food?

At times alcohol/drinks can be the larger part of the bill. A non drinker, through choice or driving, shouldn't be expected to pay for something they didn't have.

 

[slowmotion]

At times alcohol/drinks can be the larger part of the bill. A non drinker, through choice or driving, shouldn't be expected to pay for something they didn't have.

That's not how social events work though. If it was, I would go to night school and study book keeping rather than to a restaurant with pals.

 

[classic33]

Should someone who is acting as unpaid "taxi driver" for some of the group, not drinking, be expected to pay for being the "taxi driver".

They lose twice.

 

[Archie_tect]

Friends wouldn't put each other on the spot when it comes to the bill- unless they were so addled they were unaware of who'd drunk what and how much. You soon find out who your friends are and who are the mickey-takers. When I used to drive friends out to pubs they bought my soft drinks all night- if we ate as well we split the food bill but not the drinks bill.

 

[slowmotion]

Should someone who is acting as unpaid "taxi driver" for some of the group, not drinking, be expected to pay for being the "taxi driver".

They lose twice.

If I go to a commercial event, I expect to pay what I've come for. If I go for a meal with friends, I don't put a strictly financial value on their company. Sometimes they will eat and drink more expensive things than I have at the time.....sometimes they won't. I don't keep a tab. I seem to know them well enough that, over the long term, I'm pretty sure they won't take the p#ss. I don't spend time socialising with people who do.

 

[Arrowfoot]

If I go to a commercial event, I expect to pay what I've come for. If I go for a meal with friends, I don't put a strictly financial value on their company. Sometimes they will eat and drink more expensive things than I have at the time.....sometimes they won't. I don't keep a tab. I seem to know them well enough that, over the long term, I'm pretty sure they won't take the p#ss. I don't spend time socialising with people who do.

I believe that is usually the case for everyone - company is more valuable and there is price for it. Not down to the last penny.

Suppose Nancy does not drink due to medical reasons, would you expect Nancy to pay an equal share and maybe Nancy insists. If Nancy continues to pay her equal share, it will be matter of time, the overall consumption of alcohol will drop and everyone leaves early because they some in the group will know it is not right.