Stupid names for everyday things

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Drago, 11 Sep 2019.

  1. Drago

    Drago Flouncing Nobber

    You know, quite often motivate by dpolitical correctness, people with the management skills of David Brent, or even the simply mischievous. We knew where we were in the old days when a spade was called a spade, but these days it's often quite difficult to figure what the hell they're on about.

    Two examples to start you off. When I were a lad - a long time ago, I know - schools were called schools. Now locally we seem not to have schools any more, one being called a Learning Centre and another being called a Learning Village. And since when did they stop employing head teachers? You knew who the head was, but what on earth is a principal? It's the sort of evasive bullpois you'd expect to find in a dodgy used car advert, not a seat of learning.

    So what other examples of daft names for every day things can you think of?
     
  2. tom73

    tom73 Über Member

    Location:
    Yorkshire
    A principal is one step away from an executive head like our academy chain becoming a millionaire in the process.
     
  3. meta lon

    meta lon Guru

    Look at any civil servant job roles.
    You'll find hundreds of examples.
     
    Drago likes this.
  4. YukonBoy

    YukonBoy The Monch

    Location:
    Inside my skull
    Wait till you visit the learning pool and surf the wave of knowledge
     
  5. YukonBoy

    YukonBoy The Monch

    Location:
    Inside my skull
    Bike packing. It derives from back packing, but you carry gear on the bike instead of your back. It was always about doing it whilst being on tracks in the mountains away from the roads. So why do people now apply it when riding in the road? No, your not bike packing, you're just touring with different luggage.
     
    tyred, Slioch, raleighnut and 4 others like this.
  6. fossyant

    fossyant Ride It Like You Stole It!

    Location:
    South Manchester
    Schools are still schools mainly. The odd crap school is called an 'Academy'
     
    postman, Slioch, raleighnut and 3 others like this.
  7. sleuthey

    sleuthey Veteran

    Why the Dickens did they put a "plus" on the end of the word "jobcentre"?
     
  8. classic33

    classic33 Legendary Member

    They had extra help, other than for just the job boards inside.
     
    Drago likes this.
  9. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Flouncing Nobber

    Oh indeed, very rich pickings.
     
    meta lon likes this.
  10. YukonBoy

    YukonBoy The Monch

    Location:
    Inside my skull
    Extra space, as less jobs advertised
     
    Edwardoka and deptfordmarmoset like this.
  11. Brains

    Brains Guru

    Location:
    Greenwich
    Typical; Why cant you just call a spade a Statistical Packet Anomaly Detection Engine, we would know what you were talking about !
     
  12. Moon bunny

    Moon bunny Wha' d'yer mean, "veteran"?

    I have just been reading the directions for a country walk. "... handrail along the hedge..." I think they mean "follow"
     
    Slioch, Pat "5mph" and Drago like this.
  13. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Flouncing Nobber

    Clearly written by simeone with a mountain leaders qualification,
     
  14. PeteXXX

    PeteXXX Cake or ice cream? The choice is endless ...

    Location:
    Hamtun
    Where I worked, the Personnel department, once decided to be much posher and redesignate itself as Human Resources.

    Not good enough, I heard them cry.... They are now 'The People Team'.
     
  15. goo_mason

    goo_mason Champion barbed-wire hurdler

    Location:
    Leith, Edinburgh
    Wait until they morph into 'Talent Management'. That name just makes me cringe.
     
    Edwardoka, Slioch, PeteXXX and 4 others like this.
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