Tale of a BMW driver


Über Member
Belvedere, Kent.
The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn't Believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway (the driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)!
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane (why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?).
Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 176 km/h enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 120 km/h. Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.
Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to go to court and show them. The man also said if I carried on like this they would take my drivers licence away! Can you imagine no need for a drivers licence?
See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!

(Shamelessly copied off orsm.net)


Legendary Member


You forgot the picture! Happy to oblige:



New Member
:biggrin: Ashtrayhead, you really are a card and no mistake!
I thought it was just MY prejudice, but obviously I am not alone in my loathing of the antics of Mr BMW. One gets the impression, (although it may be an eroneous one) that the sort of BMW driver that displays this kind of attitude are the socially paranoid who having been made sales manager or similar, buy a 3 series to indicate to all and sundry that they have "made it." Then proceed to show their boorish perceived superiority on the roads of this country.
You have encapsulated in a humorous way all that is idiotic with this type. Chapeu! :blush::thumbsup::wacko::thumbsup:


My ex-boss was a Beemer boy. And, the one thing worse than having a Beemer, it must surely be having a company beemer! How he swung that I'll never know, all I know is, I was sceptical that it was in reality a company car, until this summer when a colleague pointed out the NO SMOKING sticker in the windscreen (Company cars are deemed to be company premises, so by law must display the sticker).

He once offered me a lift, to a social event, in said Beemer. I declined, preferring to go in my own non-Beemer (alas cycling was not practicable).

I'm glad he's my ex-boss.


Senior Member
spire said:
Tedious stereotyping.

Chavs in chavved-up Astras are the real problem.

About 5-10 years ago this was the sterotype, so a lot of these sort of people got Audis instead and the standard of Audi driver plummeted and BMW driver improved.
Then BMW introduced new models including 4x4's so many went back and BMW driving is back to its previous levels of extremes - some good, some atrocious, not too many in between.
Other 'prestige marques' like Saab & Volvo used to be seen as worthy-but-dull but now have sexier images and are listed on the company-car-alternives so also now attract this sort of pillock.


New Member
Bromley, Kent
Landslide said:
Beemers can be pretty obnoxious, but I find Rover drivers to be the worst. I suspect they're all Daily Wail reading Little Englanders. Grr...

I'd take that back Landslide or I'll send the boys round for some unplesentness, you understand? ;)
In North Wales (and in particularly on the coast) the BMW is the car of choice for the lower grade drug dealers. As they progress, they acquire Porsches and Bentleys. When John Gizzi got a Bentley the police fitted it free of charge with a recording device.
Top Bottom