Me: hey you wanna come and watch the TdF at my place?
Friend: sure, i'll bring some beers!
Me: cool
Friend: Has it started yet?
Me: Yeah, started couple of hours ago...
Friend: but aren't those people wearing white jerseys in a different team to those wearing orange?
Me: Yeah.
Friend: But they are chatting to each other. Aren't they supposed to be racing?
Me: Yeah, but it's a long ride so they have a little chat and get to know each other.
Friend: Uhm, so when are they going to ride fast?
Me: Well they already have a very high average speed.
Friend: But I was watching Formula 1 the other day. They have a high average speed but are still racing and trying to get in front of each other.
Me: TdF does not work like that. You have to ride the bike and then, uhm, sprint at the end.
Friend: Well why don't just they just cut out the 6 hour of ridinig and just have a one minute sprint, it will save a heck lot of time.
Me: Well, part of the fun is to watch how the riders draft each other.
Friend: is that when the rider behind is staring at the other rider's backside?
Me: Err, yeah
Friend: Then which part does the spectator find to be interesting?
Me: Well, the, uhm, tour parade comes along and chucks out packets of teabags and things like that and if you're lucky then you might get some.
Friend: some teabags?
Me: Yeah!
Friend: so we have to wait there for hours, the tour parade comes along, if you're lucky then you might get some teabags, and then what do the fans do?
Me: well they wait for the racers to go by, they're very fast ya know.
Friend: So let me get this straight. You have to wait for hours, you might get a teabag, you wait some more, then the racers go by in a flash, and you go home?
Me: well, er, yeah.
Friend: But that's only if you're there. What if you're watching it on TV like us? For example, the football is very exciting, the tennis is all-out action, netball, basketball, these are all great sports to watch. But I still don't get the cycling, I mean, these guys talk to other teams, stare at each other's asses, have a little sprint at the end. I think watching a chess tournament is more exciting than this.
Me: aha, well cycling is like chess, there is a lot of strategy going on here.
Friend: don't make me laugh. Chess requires real brain power. Cycling is just moving the pedals up and down. Oh, what's going on here?
Me: That rider had a puncture. See now watch this, the team car will come along, a mechanic will jump out and give the rider a new bike!
Friend: Ah, now this is more like it. So the rider has to catch up with the group he was with, he'll have to lay down some power!
Me: Mmmh, well, kind of. The lead group will slow down a bit so the rider can catch up.
Friend. Wait. What?
Me: Uhm...
Friend: are you sure they are racing?
Me: well actually, I'm pretty sure most fans don't know how bike racing works. They just go as they have nothing else to do.
Friend: shall we flip the channel and watch the cricket?
Me: sure.